WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:17.025 I wanna talk about how to have the biggest jump in your life in the next thirty days. I'm talking about one of those shifts where everything in your life changes. You start thinking differently, you feel differently, you carry yourself differently, the people around you can literally feel the difference in your energy, 00:00:17.345 --> 00:00:20.865 because right now, most people are unknowingly 00:00:20.945 --> 00:00:21.905 reinforcing 00:00:21.905 --> 00:00:23.665 the exact mindset 00:00:23.665 --> 00:00:24.705 and emotional 00:00:24.705 --> 00:00:35.170 state that they're trying to escape from. And once you finally see it, you can't unsee it. And so today, I'm gonna give you a challenge that sounds extremely simple on the surface, 00:00:35.330 --> 00:00:37.410 but it is challenging. 00:00:37.650 --> 00:00:43.465 But if you actually commit to it for thirty days, it will change your mind, your emotions, your nervous system, relationships, 00:00:43.625 --> 00:00:46.825 and honestly, probably the trajectory of your life. K? 00:00:47.305 --> 00:00:48.585 Here's the challenge. 00:00:49.065 --> 00:00:50.505 Do not complain 00:00:50.745 --> 00:00:51.625 at all 00:00:51.990 --> 00:00:58.710 for thirty days. That's it. Now stay with me because this is way more in-depth than it seems on the surface. 00:00:59.030 --> 00:01:01.750 No complaining means not out loud, 00:01:02.230 --> 00:01:05.030 not in your head, not through sarcasm, 00:01:05.030 --> 00:01:14.975 not through passive aggression, not through eye rolls, not through I'm just being realistic thoughts. I mean, every single day for the next thirty days, 00:01:15.055 --> 00:01:22.860 you wake up and you make some commitment to yourself in the morning, and that commitment is for the next twenty four hours, I will not complain. 00:01:23.180 --> 00:01:26.380 And every single time that you would normally complain, 00:01:26.460 --> 00:01:31.100 I want you to consciously find a way to switch your thoughts 00:01:31.100 --> 00:01:32.620 around that situation. 00:01:33.420 --> 00:01:36.140 And then you go to bed, and you wake up the next day, 00:01:36.805 --> 00:01:56.000 and you do it again. And you wake up the next day, and you do it again, and the next day, and you do it again for thirty days. And watch how your mind becomes different, watch how you feel different in your body, and watch how your life starts to actually shift. Because most people don't realize that they're not like stuck in circumstances. 00:01:56.160 --> 00:01:58.960 They're stuck because their brain has unconsciously 00:01:58.960 --> 00:02:02.080 been trained to find problems 00:02:02.160 --> 00:02:03.280 in everything, 00:02:04.145 --> 00:02:11.905 And finding problems will only keep you stuck because if you're only finding problems and your brain is only focusing on how to try to solve problems. 00:02:12.705 --> 00:02:17.265 But if you train your brain to constantly find what is wrong, it will. 00:02:17.745 --> 00:02:27.150 That's how the human brain works. There's actually a psychological principle that's called the negativity bias. It's one of the most studied concepts in neuroscience and psychology. 00:02:27.310 --> 00:02:52.470 It's basically this. Your brain is designed to find what is wrong as a way to protect you. Why? Because your brain was not designed to make you happy or successful or rich. Your brain was designed to keep you alive. Your ancestors survived because they noticed danger. They noticed threats. They predicted threats. They could notice what was going to go wrong. The human that ignored the rustling in the bushes usually got eaten by the tiger. 00:02:52.870 --> 00:02:54.310 And so biologically, 00:02:54.630 --> 00:03:00.710 your brain is wired to scan for problems and threats and rejection and danger. 00:03:01.030 --> 00:03:05.845 And now two hundred thousand years ago, that would be smart and it would be called being safe. 00:03:06.085 --> 00:03:06.805 Today, 00:03:06.885 --> 00:03:11.045 we call it finding the negative. Right? Because we don't have to worry about tigers. 00:03:11.205 --> 00:03:13.045 And if you don't consciously 00:03:13.285 --> 00:03:20.590 train your brain, it will naturally drift towards the negative, quote unquote, the fear, the scarcity, 00:03:20.590 --> 00:03:22.830 the complaints, the fake scenarios, 00:03:22.830 --> 00:03:25.230 the, uh, imagined arguments, 00:03:25.630 --> 00:03:27.630 the fearful futures, 00:03:27.630 --> 00:03:29.630 the possible failures in the future, 00:03:29.870 --> 00:03:31.150 and we will be right back. 00:03:32.255 --> 00:04:04.315 Hey, real quick. Let me interrupt you for something exciting. On June 10 at 7PM eastern, I'm doing a free live Zoom session called break the ceiling twenty twenty six. This is for anybody who knows that they're capable of more, but they just keep self sabotaging and hitting the same ceilings no matter what they try. I'm gonna teach you exactly why that keeps happening and how to finally change it so that your income, your relationships, your happiness, your mindset, your entire life is better. You can register for free by scanning that QR code right there or by going to breaktheceiling2026.com, 00:04:04.315 --> 00:04:06.955 and I will see you live on that session. 00:04:07.755 --> 00:04:14.955 And now back to the show. And that's why some people can have beautiful lives and still be miserable 00:04:16.080 --> 00:04:24.640 because they have trained their brain to only notice what is wrong. One of my favorite quotes, your mind can make heaven out of hell or hell out of heaven. 00:04:25.280 --> 00:04:30.195 Your mind can make heaven out of hell or hell out of heaven. It's not your circumstances, 00:04:30.195 --> 00:04:32.675 it's what you think about your circumstances. 00:04:33.075 --> 00:04:42.035 That's why I have a tattoo right here. My wife and I on our left wrist have a tattoo and it says this is heaven because I think that we we can create heaven on earth our version of it 00:04:42.560 --> 00:04:45.040 right here in this moment by the thoughts that we have. 00:04:45.520 --> 00:04:47.600 Most people think their thoughts are reality. 00:04:47.840 --> 00:04:52.400 They think the world is bad, people suck, nothing ever works out, I'm not lucky, 00:04:52.720 --> 00:04:55.200 every day is stressful, life is exhausting. 00:04:55.515 --> 00:04:59.275 No. That's not reality. That's your thoughts. That's your conditioning. 00:04:59.355 --> 00:05:03.435 That's your reticular activating system filtering reality through negativity. 00:05:03.675 --> 00:05:06.555 Your reticular activating system is part of the brain that decides 00:05:06.795 --> 00:05:14.260 what it wants to filter in and what it wants to filter out. So if you constantly complain, your brain becomes a professional problem finder. 00:05:14.500 --> 00:05:25.125 So when you look at it this way, like, what actually starts happening to you when you start training your brain to look for the good, to not complain, but to find the positive? You start noticing opportunities 00:05:25.125 --> 00:05:27.845 where you used to know then there's problems before. 00:05:28.165 --> 00:05:32.485 Most people are so focused on what is wrong that they completely miss 00:05:32.645 --> 00:05:33.845 what is possible. 00:05:34.165 --> 00:05:39.500 Their brain's constantly scanning for all of the problems, Why something won't work? Why life is unfair? 00:05:39.820 --> 00:05:43.580 Because that's what they focus on. That's what they see. But when you start consciously 00:05:43.740 --> 00:05:44.620 retraining 00:05:44.620 --> 00:05:48.780 your brain the same way that you would train a dog to stop complaining 00:05:48.940 --> 00:05:50.860 and to stop making yourself a victim, 00:05:51.355 --> 00:05:55.995 your mind starts to open up in a different way. You start seeing solutions 00:05:56.155 --> 00:06:09.380 faster. You start noticing opportunities that you never saw before. You start taking more action. You start to see people different. You start to talk to people differently. You start to carry yourself differently. You start to see opportunities 00:06:09.380 --> 00:06:11.940 where you used to see roadblocks, 00:06:12.260 --> 00:06:16.980 and that's huge in getting yourself out of a rut and really turning your life around quickly. 00:06:18.025 --> 00:06:20.825 Why is that? Because a negative mind closes. 00:06:21.385 --> 00:06:25.785 It closes. It doesn't allow you to see outside of the possibilities. 00:06:25.865 --> 00:06:29.305 An empowered mind that doesn't complain, that sees opportunities, 00:06:29.305 --> 00:06:30.265 it expands. 00:06:30.265 --> 00:06:37.890 It's able to see more outside of what it normally does. A stressed brain looks at survival. That's all that it pays attention to. 00:06:38.210 --> 00:06:42.530 A grateful brain that starts to see outside of it starts to see possibilities. 00:06:43.010 --> 00:06:52.125 And so this changes your life. It doesn't just change like, oh, I'm gonna be positive. Right? Like, that's stupid. No. It changes your life in many different ways. Emotionally, 00:06:52.365 --> 00:06:53.245 financially, 00:06:53.405 --> 00:06:54.365 relationally, 00:06:54.925 --> 00:06:56.205 every single way. 00:06:56.525 --> 00:06:57.885 Because opportunities 00:06:57.885 --> 00:07:01.245 are almost always hidden inside of the problems. 00:07:01.780 --> 00:07:04.100 So if you're only seeing problems, 00:07:04.180 --> 00:07:11.380 you're usually not training yourself to look for the opportunities in them. We need to train our brain to find those opportunities. 00:07:11.700 --> 00:07:18.325 The person complaining about their job misses the opportunity to learn the skills that they need to to be able to come better. 00:07:18.565 --> 00:07:28.700 Right? The person that's complaining about being alone misses the opportunity to build themselves while they are alone. The person that's complaining about where they live misses the opportunity 00:07:28.700 --> 00:07:30.700 to create a plan to leave. 00:07:31.500 --> 00:07:32.540 Complaining 00:07:32.860 --> 00:07:33.980 blinds people 00:07:34.380 --> 00:07:35.980 and it keeps you stuck. 00:07:37.020 --> 00:07:39.500 Actively searching for good 00:07:39.825 --> 00:07:42.465 and training your mind to find it, 00:07:43.105 --> 00:07:57.090 it sharpens your mind. And when you stop seeing life as something that's happening against you, and you start seeing it as something that's that has so many opportunities available to you, that's when you start getting ahead in life. It's not like life suddenly became easier, 00:07:57.890 --> 00:08:01.890 but your brain finally stopped looking for all of the mental roadblocks 00:08:01.890 --> 00:08:03.810 that were never there in the first place. 00:08:04.210 --> 00:08:07.970 Like, think about it. No matter how bad you want something 00:08:08.295 --> 00:08:14.295 to be rich or to be happy or to be build a successful business or to get into a relationship, 00:08:14.535 --> 00:08:17.175 if you're only seeing the roadblocks 00:08:17.815 --> 00:08:19.895 to getting to where you want to go, 00:08:20.215 --> 00:08:21.415 you won't even try 00:08:22.230 --> 00:08:26.230 to get to where you wanna go because you're only seeing the roadblocks. 00:08:27.190 --> 00:08:28.870 So you have to understand. 00:08:29.590 --> 00:08:36.230 You need to see a different perspective in some sort of way if you're gonna change your life. So much of our lives and what we complain about, 00:08:37.115 --> 00:08:39.035 people would love to have. 00:08:39.835 --> 00:08:48.155 Do you get that? Like, no matter where you are right now, there are millions if not billions of people who would trade with you right now. 00:08:48.720 --> 00:08:57.920 Like there's people in war torn countries that would love to have your life. People who didn't grow up with the same circumstance that you did. People who weren't given the opportunities 00:08:57.920 --> 00:09:03.760 that you've been given. And this is my opinion, a lot of us live in some people on Earth's 00:09:04.175 --> 00:09:05.695 version of heaven on Earth. 00:09:06.175 --> 00:09:09.135 And we sit there and complain about all of these. My 00:09:09.695 --> 00:09:15.535 my tea wasn't hot enough today. Get your shit together. Right? Like, have perspective 00:09:16.100 --> 00:09:34.395 on your life and how great this can actually be. I'm not saying you need be rich and successful and full of happiness in order to realize that we do have some pretty good lives. Let me give you a couple of examples of what I see with people like, your kids are screaming. They're freaking out and you're like, oh my god. Most people complain, oh my god these kids are driving me insane. 00:09:34.555 --> 00:09:35.115 Right? 00:09:35.515 --> 00:09:36.475 I get it. 00:09:36.875 --> 00:09:39.995 But then you can take a step back and go, can I see this from a different perspective? 00:09:40.315 --> 00:09:41.915 Like do you know how many people 00:09:42.235 --> 00:09:43.035 wish 00:09:43.035 --> 00:09:46.155 that they had a child like yours right now for whatever reason? 00:09:46.790 --> 00:09:48.710 Right? Like they can't conceive 00:09:48.710 --> 00:09:57.350 or maybe they lost a child or maybe their children are all grown up and they miss when they were inside of the house and young and full of energy, 00:09:57.830 --> 00:09:59.110 and when we notice 00:09:59.345 --> 00:10:14.145 and we see that and we take a step back and we see our circumstances differently of like, oh, man, many people love to have this moment that I'm in. You can look at it and go, oh my God. I am so damn grateful that I have healthy children. There are some people who would do anything 00:10:14.790 --> 00:10:17.990 to have what I have right now in this moment. I am so lucky. 00:10:18.470 --> 00:10:22.950 Right? Another example, like you're stuck in traffic. You could be like, oh my God, this is unbelievable. 00:10:22.950 --> 00:10:31.335 I'm gonna be late. I hate being late. My day is ruined blah blah blah blah blah. Instead you could be like, okay, I'm stuck in traffic. You know what? 00:10:32.295 --> 00:10:36.135 I've been actually needing some silence. I've been asking for some silence. 00:10:36.615 --> 00:10:42.935 I've been asking for some sort of a break. Maybe this is my moment to breathe. Maybe I should turn the music off. 00:10:43.570 --> 00:10:50.610 Maybe I should sit in silence for a minute. Maybe I should be with myself for five minutes. I've been asking for this. Maybe this is my opportunity. 00:10:50.850 --> 00:10:52.530 Not like, oh boo hoo. 00:10:53.010 --> 00:11:02.885 Right? Your alarm goes off in the morning and you're like, oh my god. I didn't sleep very well last night. Whatever. There was a thunderstorm that woke me up. I don't wanna get up. I wanna sleep in, 00:11:03.205 --> 00:11:11.125 you know, you could do that or you could go, you know what? My alarm went off. I hear it. That means I'm alive. A hundred and fifty thousand people died yesterday. 00:11:12.080 --> 00:11:25.680 They would all want to trade places with me I'm sure to have another day and I get another day. Maybe I should look at it a little bit differently. Like, do you understand how radically those realities like they're so radically different 00:11:26.165 --> 00:11:31.285 through the children, through the traffic, through the waking up, like it's the same life. 00:11:31.765 --> 00:11:33.285 It's a different lens. 00:11:33.925 --> 00:11:39.285 And so it's not your life that has to change. It's your lens that has to change first, 00:11:39.605 --> 00:11:40.885 and then your life will change. 00:11:41.810 --> 00:11:55.785 And so here's what starts happening when you do this type of stuff for thirty days. Your nervous system's gonna start to change because complaining keeps your body in like stress mode. Every complaint reinforces cortisol and stress and irritation 00:11:55.785 --> 00:11:58.345 and victim mentality and helplessness, 00:11:58.425 --> 00:12:06.825 and so your brain starts expecting bad things. There's actually research on this from Stanford showing that chronic stress and repetitive negative thinking 00:12:07.160 --> 00:12:09.320 strengthens the neural pathways 00:12:09.400 --> 00:12:10.280 associated 00:12:10.280 --> 00:12:11.400 with anxiety 00:12:11.480 --> 00:12:13.160 and emotional reactivity. 00:12:13.240 --> 00:12:14.680 Meaning the more you complain, 00:12:14.920 --> 00:12:17.160 the easier it becomes to complain. 00:12:17.480 --> 00:12:21.735 More negative that you are, the more automatic your negativity becomes. 00:12:22.455 --> 00:12:25.255 Your brain wires itself around repetition, 00:12:25.255 --> 00:12:33.175 not what you want, what you do, what you think. That's Heb's law in neuroscience. Neuroscience says neurons that fire together wired together. 00:12:33.740 --> 00:12:34.780 So every 00:12:35.100 --> 00:12:36.300 inconvenience 00:12:36.300 --> 00:12:38.140 that creates negativity, 00:12:38.700 --> 00:12:41.340 you wire negativity deeper into your personality. 00:12:42.140 --> 00:12:44.380 But gratitude works the exact same way. 00:12:44.700 --> 00:12:54.265 Like research at UC Davis actually shows they conducted one of the most famous gratitude studies that was ever done where participants who practice gratitude consistently experience 00:12:54.265 --> 00:12:55.545 greater optimism, 00:12:55.785 --> 00:12:56.825 better sleep, 00:12:57.145 --> 00:12:58.185 less stress, 00:12:58.585 --> 00:12:59.705 more happiness, 00:12:59.865 --> 00:13:00.905 improved energy, 00:13:01.340 --> 00:13:04.060 and just overall improved emotional well-being. 00:13:04.300 --> 00:13:10.220 And the important part is this, their lives didn't necessarily change first. Their perception 00:13:10.380 --> 00:13:12.700 changed first, and their perception 00:13:12.780 --> 00:13:14.380 changed their behavior, 00:13:14.540 --> 00:13:15.660 and their behavior 00:13:15.815 --> 00:13:18.135 changes their identity, and identity 00:13:18.135 --> 00:13:19.735 will change your life. 00:13:20.135 --> 00:13:28.135 So that's why this challenge matters so much. You're not just thinking positive. That's what I'm trying to have you do. You're not just like being toxically positive. 00:13:28.430 --> 00:13:35.630 You're rewiring the filtering system of your mind. You are retraining yourself to stop unconsciously rehearsing 00:13:35.710 --> 00:13:36.750 suffering. 00:13:37.470 --> 00:13:38.670 Because let's be honest, 00:13:38.990 --> 00:13:40.990 some people are addicted 00:13:41.215 --> 00:13:42.975 to their negative thoughts 00:13:43.375 --> 00:13:49.535 and the brain starts treating this. Imagine stress that their brain come like their mind comes up with like real stress, 00:13:49.775 --> 00:13:52.335 and your body literally responds chemically 00:13:52.335 --> 00:13:53.215 to your thoughts. 00:13:54.270 --> 00:13:56.670 That's why you can think about an argument 00:13:56.910 --> 00:13:58.510 and your heart rate increases. 00:13:59.070 --> 00:14:01.150 That's why you can imagine embarrassment 00:14:01.150 --> 00:14:02.750 and start to feel anxious. 00:14:02.910 --> 00:14:04.190 It's not reality. 00:14:04.350 --> 00:14:05.470 It's your thoughts. 00:14:05.870 --> 00:14:14.035 The brain does not distinguish between vividly imagined experiences and real ones, which means that if you constantly imagine negativity, 00:14:14.275 --> 00:14:15.635 you biologically 00:14:15.635 --> 00:14:16.355 live 00:14:16.675 --> 00:14:17.555 inside 00:14:17.555 --> 00:14:18.755 of that negativity, 00:14:19.790 --> 00:14:27.230 and then people wonder why they feel stuck. They wonder why it's so hard to get moving because your brain cannot create expansion 00:14:27.230 --> 00:14:29.550 while constantly rehearsing fear. 00:14:30.430 --> 00:14:34.885 And this is why this challenge actually matters. For thirty days, no complaining. 00:14:35.125 --> 00:14:38.245 Every complaint gets interrupted with gratitude. 00:14:38.405 --> 00:14:41.045 Every negative thought gets redirected. 00:14:41.125 --> 00:14:46.325 Every inconvenience becomes an opportunity to consciously choose who you want to become, 00:14:47.190 --> 00:14:50.310 and eventually if you do this something amazing starts to happen. 00:14:50.790 --> 00:14:52.150 You stop being 00:14:52.390 --> 00:15:08.655 emotionally controlled by these little tiny things. Traffic stops ruining your day. People stop ruining your mood. Delay stop ruining your peace. You don't get triggered near as much as you used to, and your thoughts stop controlling how you feel. 00:15:09.135 --> 00:15:12.735 And you realize most suffering was never life itself. 00:15:12.815 --> 00:15:13.935 It was unconscious 00:15:13.935 --> 00:15:32.250 interpretation of life. Our perception of life is our problem, not our life, and this is important. I'm not saying become delusional. I'm not saying have toxic positivity. I'm not saying ignore your pain. I'm not saying pretend things are not hard when they're hard. What I'm saying is that you can either train your mind to look for darkness, 00:15:32.585 --> 00:15:35.945 or you can train your mind to find light. 00:15:36.665 --> 00:15:38.905 Whichever one you repeatedly choose 00:15:38.905 --> 00:15:40.745 becomes who you are. 00:15:41.385 --> 00:15:47.225 That's why after thirty days, you won't just feel better. You will literally start to become a different person, 00:15:48.100 --> 00:15:49.220 because repetition 00:15:49.220 --> 00:15:55.060 rewires your brain. You're in control of that, and that repetition creates a different identity, 00:15:55.380 --> 00:15:56.420 and eventually 00:15:56.420 --> 00:16:11.585 a different life. So this challenge is simple. Interrupt the pattern, and decide who do I want to become from this moment forward? Do I wanna become somebody who constantly finds what's wrong or someone who can't consciously trains themself to see possibility, 00:16:11.665 --> 00:16:17.420 and gratitude, and beauty, and and growth, and goodness even when life is imperfect. 00:16:17.900 --> 00:16:25.260 Because your life is always gonna be imperfect, but your mind does not have to be at war with reality all of the time. And if you can master this, 00:16:25.580 --> 00:16:27.100 your life changes fast. 00:16:27.765 --> 00:16:30.485 So here's your challenge. For twenty four hours, 00:16:30.965 --> 00:16:32.165 no complaining. 00:16:32.565 --> 00:16:41.125 Make a commitment to yourself to start it today, and then you make that commitment every single morning for the next thirty days. Watch how your relationships change. 00:16:41.920 --> 00:16:45.920 Watch how your stress changes. Watch how your emotional baseline changes. 00:16:45.920 --> 00:16:50.400 Watch how much lighter your life feels. Because when you stop feeding negativity, 00:16:50.640 --> 00:17:15.785 you stop strengthening it. And when you stop strengthening it, you finally create space for peace. Hey, thanks so much for watching this video. If you love this podcast, click this one right here. Based off of everything you've been watching recently, YouTube has searched all of my videos and your algorithm put them together, and this is its suggestion for what it thinks you would wanna watch right now. 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