§ 01 · The Hook
The bait, then the rug-pull.
The cold open drops into the middle of an answer. Priscilla Shirer is already mid-thought, describing the arithmetic of refusal — how a no said from security is not a closed door but an opened one — before the host has said a word of introduction. The viewer is already inside the conversation.
Who's talking.
02:26guestPriscilla Shirer
00:00hostEd Mylett
Where the time goes.
00:00 – 03:01
01 · Every no creates a yes
Cold open mid-conversation. Priscilla introduces the core thesis: guilt-driven yeses become regret; purposeful nos open space for the right yeses and for the people coming up behind you.
03:01 – 04:29
02 · Staying present when you're busy
She appears far more busy than she is because she protects her no. Home most of the month; gone twice a month at most.
04:29 – 07:55
03 · Fear of losing momentum
Ed probes whether fear of losing relevance drives her to say yes. Priscilla acknowledges the possibility but distinguishes awareness from worry; she trusts God with the outcome.
07:55 – 08:54
04 · What trusting God actually looks like
Ed pushes past the platitude. Priscilla: it is hard, varies by personality type, and starts with doing your part fully then releasing the result.
08:54 – 10:24
05 · Why having kids taught her to let go
Parenting is where the control impulse becomes undeniable. Learning to release her kids became the daily practice that transferred to everything else.
10:24 – 12:29
06 · The power of margin
Blank space on the calendar is a resource pool — enabling walks, uninterrupted writing, and the patience to engage the stranger at Starbucks instead of being annoyed.
12:29 – 16:09
07 · Life rhythm and the social media trap
The rhythm people race is filtered and constructed. We do not know the cost its creators are paying. Both host and guest reflect on auditing their own priorities by age and season.
16:09 – 19:03
08 · An anointing to communicate
Growing up attending Tony Evans's church every Sunday was an unrecognized master class. Zig Ziglar and Anne Graham Lotz were in the environment. She was absorbing without knowing it.
19:03 – 24:03
09 · Spring cleaning your life
Less is more — in communications, in closets, and in relationships. Editing creates clarity, utility, and space to actually use what remains.
24:03 – 30:50
10 · Stop waiting for the next season
The Kurt Russell scene from The Madison and Priscilla's mother's deferred Australia trip: two stories about arriving at the metaphorical beach too late. The season you are in holds the keys to the next.
30:50 – 32:04
11 · Sponsor — LifeSurge
Ed promotes LifeSurge live events with co-speakers Tim Tebow, Willie Robertson, John Maxwell, Craig Groeschel.
32:04 – 36:58
12 · Raising kids while chasing a dream
Priscilla recounts her son's question: was it intentional that you were always around? Her answer: yes, it cost us, and it required deciding in advance that if the kids could not come, neither could we.
36:58 – 39:55
13 · Confidence plus humility
The rare combination. Confidence without humility goes shallow. Humility without confidence becomes a drain. Faith and family keep the balance.
39:55 – 41:17
14 · Making others feel seen
Ed names Priscilla's superpower: she makes everyone feel seen intentionally. He frames it as a shortcut to happiness that most people overlook.
41:17 – 43:58
15 · For the skeptic or the seeker
The dissatisfaction with imperfect Christians is not evidence against the faith — it is the signal that you were made for something those people were never equipped to deliver. The longing itself is the invitation.
Lines you could clip.
00:04
"Every no creates an opportunity for a yes."
05:33
"I appear far more busy than I am because from the outside looking in, it looks like I'm everywhere doing everything, and I'm really not."
10:31
"The blank space on my calendar is not a threat to me."
26:15
"You don't even know that the key for what you need in the next season is in your current season."
35:09
"Unless you choose priorities and then mold your life around those priorities, those priorities will be watered down."
42:02
"People and just the things of earth will constantly disappoint. And instead of them turning us off to a relationship with God, they're supposed to be a reminder... we were made for something different."
Things they pointed at.
16:52channelTony Evans
18:02channelZig Ziglar
18:12channelAnne Graham Lotz
24:04productThe Madison (Taylor Sheridan series)
02:26productWar Room (film)
Word for word.
HOOK opening / re-engagementCTA the pitch metaphor analogy story
00:04HOOKthe no's, every no creates an opportunity for a yes. I realized a long time ago that if I say yes to something out of guilt, because maybe they've asked four times before and I haven't been able to do it, or yes out of fear of missing out, it's an opportunity. Every time I said yes for those reasons, I regretted it.
00:22Because I'd get to that day and my kid has a soccer game. Yeah. I'd get to that day and goodness gracious, I could have taken a vacation that week with my husband, but now there's something planted in the middle of the week that I didn't say yes to for pure reasons.
00:35Mhmm. So that happens enough to you and you have that feeling of remorse that you didn't an honest genuine yes, then it it starts to not be worth it anymore.
00:45Yeah. That if I'm too insecure to to open up that gap, that I'm actually standing in the way of somebody else who might be coming up behind me and just needs a place to be.
00:55But I'm so insecure that I keep showing up in the spaces that are now meant for them. Wow. Wow.
01:01Wow. I kinda keep that in my mind that, man, when I was 20, there were some people in their fifties that started to have different priorities maybe in that season because of grandkids coming along.
01:10They were secure enough to say their nose that somebody sat there and thought, well, you know what? There's this little girl named Priscilla.
01:16She's 27. Let's just give her a chance. My
01:29HOOKAlright. Welcome back to the show, everybody. So I gotta tell you, there's a buzz around the arena that we're doing this in right now that this lady's on our show.
01:37HOOKI'm speaking at an event that she's also speaking at today, and they've informed me that she is by far the biggest draw of all the speakers. Like, 85 times the draw that I am, and there's a reason for it.
01:49HOOKShe's also the most incredible speaker you ever see ever in your life. She's incredible. I've watched her.
02:08HOOKIt's awesome. And she's, uh, she's one of the people that's been on my list for years to get a chance to interview, and I've met her recently. And she's so nice in person and so humble.
02:17HOOKYou know when you have somebody that you all admire like you do this woman? She's even better in person, and I think you're gonna enjoy the time with her today. Priscilla Shire, welcome to the show.
02:29Wait till this crowd hears you. Okay. Let's start in the very beginning.
02:32Okay. What's it like to be you? And I'm in it from this way.
02:35Let me tell you the way that I mean it. You're busy. And so people listening to this may not relate to being in movies or writing books or having ministry work or all that stuff, but they do relate to being busy.
02:45Yeah. So you're a mother. Mhmm.
02:47You're a wife. You've got all these different business ventures that you do, yet you show up with really present energy every time that I've met you and I'm with you including today. I'm wondering how you do that, if you have any strategies you use or anything like that you'd share with busy people.
03:01Well, who's not busy? You know what I mean? We kinda live in a culture that creates a a vortex of busyness Right.
03:07That if you're not intentional, it will consume you. Mhmm.
03:10So it's it's something I'm not perfect at for sure, where it's kinda like we're growing and ebbing and flowing and maturing in this our whole lives. But, man, I've had to learn how to just say good solid no's. Mhmm.
03:21And, I mean, honestly, it's there are more no's than yeses.
03:26But the no's, every no creates an opportunity for a yes. I realized a long time ago that if I say yes to something out of guilt, because maybe they've asked four times before and I haven't been able to do it, or yes out of fear of missing out, it's an opportunity.
03:41Every time I said yes for those reasons, I regretted it. It because I'd get to that day, and my kid has a soccer game. Yeah.
03:48I'd get to that day, and goodness gracious, I could have taken a vacation that week with my husband, but now there's something planted in the middle of the week that I didn't say yes to for pure reasons. Mhmm. Um, so that happens enough to you, and you have that feeling of remorse that you didn't say an honest, genuine yes,
04:05then it it starts to not be worth it anymore. Yeah. So I appear far more busy than I am.
04:11I appear far more busy than I am because from the outside looking in, it looks like I'm everywhere doing everything, and I'm really not. Wow. I'm home most of the month.
04:19If I'm gone twice a month because I've said yes to those two things, then that's gonna be two twenty four to forty eight hour periods that I'm away. Other than that, I'm at home.
04:29Really good. I wish I'd have asked you that about fourteen years ago. Me too.
04:33Because I'm just I'm not good at that. I you you know why? And I I wanna ask you this.
04:36I think this is why people say yes. Well, I think there's a lot reasons. One is people pleasing or whatever.
04:40Of course. But, also, the fear of losing momentum. Of course.
04:44Do you ever have that fear? I mean, you're you're I was I wasn't joking in the beginning. I was being serious.
04:47I said it lighthearted. Yeah. You've
04:49built this massive following and notoriety and, frankly, influence. And I wonder if you worry ever That's a good question.
04:58That I've asked other people on the show. I had Sebastian Maniscalco, the comedian. I said, do you worry you're gonna lose it?
05:02And because he said, I have a hard time saying no. And he said, yes. Mhmm.
05:06I do. And I've asked a lot of people that, and they say they worry that. I wonder that that doesn't impact you.
05:10I will say that it occurs to me that there's always the possibility there that if you're not saying all the yeses and you're not doing all the things, there is a there is there is a a cost to that. There is a loss to that momentum. I don't know that it worries me.
05:23Yeah. I I am grateful for the reality.
05:27And, again, this is something that that I I don't wanna sound like I'm a master at it. No. It's something that I have to kind of regulate constantly because
05:34you're watching other people that look like their their things growing faster Yeah. Or or more exponentially. I I look forward, though, to the the fact that when I have said no
05:45to something for whatever those reasons are, I have actually opened up a window of opportunity for somebody coming up behind me that if I'm too insecure to to open up that gap, that I'm actually standing in the way of somebody else who might be coming up behind me and just needs a place to be. But I'm so insecure that I keep showing up in the spaces that are now meant for them.
06:06Wow. Wow. Wow.
06:08I kinda keep that in my mind that, man, when I was 20, there were some people in their fifties that started to have different priorities maybe in that season because of grandkids coming along. They were secure enough to say their nose that somebody sat there and thought, well, you know what?
06:22There's this little girl named Priscilla. She's 27. Let's just give her a chance.
06:27There had to be a gap and a space for that. So I'm at least aware of that. I can't say that it worries me.
06:32I'm aware of the loss of momentum. Sometimes that just comes with age. Yeah.
06:36The the relevancy to a certain context might not be the same when you're in the age or space or season that you're in. So I'm aware that that could happen for a number of reasons, but it doesn't worry me. I'm trusting God with this season
06:48just like I did with the last one, and I'm just expecting that he's gonna honor me as I seek to keep honoring him. Gosh. That was so good.
06:56You hear that a lot from believers. I'm just gonna trust in God.
07:01Yeah. And, obviously, I think most people know your background, your father.
07:06Yeah. He's a good dad. Good dad.
07:08And and A good mom and good dad. And and led a lot of people to Jesus as well. Yeah.
07:13Right? And I I've never asked anybody this before because I say it too, and I've become much my effect my word for this year is surrender.
07:21It's a good word. Yeah. Just It's a hard word.
07:23It is a hard word. Right? And so I'm just wondering.
07:26It's a hard question, but you're so you've such an ability. There are bright people. Right?
07:31And then a rarer ability is to have what I consider high IQ or EQ, which I think you have, and then the ability to articulate a thought. You just I'm gonna ask you about that later. But what does that look like, like relying on God?
07:42Because everybody says that because someone's driving in their car. They're running on the treadmill right now. They have a problem,
07:47and they're they're running they're ruminating it over and over in their mind thinking, if I just keep thinking about this again, I'm gonna find a different answer. Right? That's what we think.
07:55I know I do it. What does it look like? Like, day to day,
07:58I'm gonna trust God in this season or rely on God. What's that like? Hard.
08:03That's what it's like. But I will say it is easier I I have to just kind of reconcile the fact that it is easier for some personality types than it is for others.
08:14Wow. I'm a easygoing personality type. There are some people, friends and family members that I have, we can have the same conversation.
08:21And the answer will be completely different because they're more type a, kind of a perfectionist by nature. I'm more of a relaxed personality. Really?
08:30So yeah. So I would say that it probably is easier for me to come to that, but we're all human and want some modicum of control or management
08:39of our family life or our our business life or we we'd love to have it packaged a little bit more clearly. And I think that as time has gone on, the main thing that has helped me to relax and need
08:52to trust god more fully is having kids. It's this constant reality that I've gotta let go.
08:59That to the extent that I try to manage and control is the extent to which I'm gonna experience more and more stress and anxiety and not be able to actually enjoy them. Wow.
09:09So it's something that being a mom has begun to work even more in me. Let
09:15go. 20 years old, 21 years old, 22 years old. Let go.
09:19Coach, offer advice, but release. Now I can enjoy you because I'm not trying to control you.
09:25That principle has been true with other areas of my life.
09:29Okay, Lord. I'm struggling because I'd love to be able to manage this thing and control this thing. I'm just gonna do my part, be prepared,
09:36um, make sure that I'm honing the craft, the guilt the skill, the opportunity you've given me. I'm gonna do my part. But if I keep trying to do your part
09:45Wow. Then I'm not gonna enjoy this ride of life Mhmm. Because I'm gonna be too busy trying to to manage it and step into that god margin.
09:52So over time and again, I'm talking about this like I'm an expert in it, and I'm not. It's a constant daily, weekly, monthly. Okay.
10:00The next twenty four hours, what has god asked me to do? I'm a show up and do that to the best of my abilities, and I'm gonna leave the outcome to him. My goodness.
10:07That's one of the best answers we've had on the show. That was such by the way, that model earlier too that you said about saying no to things, I'm just reflecting on things you're saying, and that it opens up other yeses. That's a faith thing as well.
10:18It is a faith that god's gonna open up these other doors as you let other people walk through the ones that it's their time to walk through. Yeah. Absolutely.
10:25And I think that when we don't have margin What's margin mean? I know what it means, but explain yeah.
10:31Blank space. The blank space on my calendar is not a threat to me. I'm not afraid of it.
10:38I look at that blank space on Saturday, on a Sunday, on a Monday, on a Tuesday. And what that means is I can take a walk without the pressure of I've gotta hurry up and catch a flight. I gotta hurry.
10:49The pressure of another important thing on my calendar, That margin allows me to take the walk, to have the conversation with my husband, to write without interruption because I can just spend the four hours writing or studying or baking the bread for my family or doing a thing because there's space there to do it without my mental, uh, real estate being taken up with the pressure of something that actually I have to go do as well.
11:15Yeah. That margin becomes an invitation not only to enjoy the regular rhythms of life, but also the surprises that I feel like we work ourselves out of that God wants to give us.
11:25But we don't even have enough resource of time, of patience, of energy, of, um, wisdom or insight.
11:34We're so tapped out all the time that we don't have an overflow to engage the stranger who stops us in the line at Starbucks and, you know, strikes up a conversation instead of being annoyed at that person.
11:47Now I have a little bit of margin to smile back Mhmm. And have a little three minute conversation because all my space isn't crowded. And that conversation,
11:56hopefully, is not only a blessing to them, but it becomes a blessing to me. Like, God surprises me. Oh my goodness.
12:01I'm so glad I had this moment of margin to interact with this person. And now this is an invitation and a divine
12:12moment that I can enjoy. That's tremendous.
12:15So I've just enjoyed those pockets of margin. God kinda fills them in with little winks from heaven. Wow.
12:22I was I I didn't know we were gonna go here. And what I was just thinking when you were talking, so help me go one more layer on it. It almost sounds like there's a a life rhythm
12:32to your existence, and that's why you're fully you could be fully present. I was just thinking, in other areas, like, you're an athlete, rhythm matters. Right?
12:40If you're enjoying a party or a dance or prayer or whatever, there's a rhythm. There's a pace. There's a cadence to it.
12:47I almost feel like in our culture today with social media and speed and the news and who did this and we're the that we've lost the desire or even the the consciousness of being in a rhythm in our lives, of having some pace and rhythm and cadence to our existence. Does that sound right?
13:03I I agree with you, and it's being controlled by a . It's created.
13:11It's filtered. So it looks like the rhythm of their life is that way or the cadence of their life is that way. But we're just seeing their highlights.
13:19We're just seeing the bits and pieces they give us. Right. And then we're trying to keep up with it and model ourselves after it.
13:25And we don't know the cost. We don't know the price they're paying. We don't know the lack of peace they have or the lack of sleep they have.
13:31We don't know what their family life is like. Yeah. But we're trying to match it, and it's costing us in ways that we have never anticipated.
13:38Now it's your it's your podcast, but I have to ask you about the exact same thing. Mhmm. Because I look at your world and your life and how
13:46engaged you are with people and how much you're doing, and I wonder about that for you. How do you manage sort of the rhythm of your life? That's such a great question.
13:54I I've learned a little bit of another level of it just sitting here with you. Because by the way, it's actually true what you've said.
14:00Like, we've even talked about doing the show for many many months and Yeah. Finally, the time was right and I really admire that about you. I think part of what you said earlier for me has been age.
14:10Yeah. And also, it'd be cool for two people that have had the blessing of some achievement to share this.
14:16In all honesty, I audit my dreams now. Things that mattered to me at 25 or 35, which was just that season of my life, which is healthy at that season of my life,
14:28no longer are as important to me. And so I'm I'm sort of regularly prayerfully asking for guidance and a little bit of auditing of what is important to me now at 55 as opposed to at 25 or 35. And I think I've done a better job of choosing things that
14:44I just had a conversation this morning, ironically. Very well known person in the personal development space. One of my dearest friends, she called me this morning in kind of a
14:53got feeling great mode. It was actually I was getting ready for another podcast, and was a little bit late because I we're so deeply engaged in this. And I said to her,
15:02she's just a little bit like, what should I be doing? I'm not sure. And I said at this stage of my life,
15:07if I'm if if it gives me energy when I do it I'm not saying it's not work. Speaking is work.
15:13But if I feel energized, my soul feels fulfilled at this stage, I wanna do more of it. But if I'm looking at my calendar and everything on it is I can't wait till that's over Oh.
15:23I don't want my calendar to be loaded with that. Now there are certain stages of life, I think you'd agree, where you just have to do difficult things. You do the thing that's next.
15:30You do the thing that's next. That's right. But in between those gaps or that margin that you said, I have given myself more space.
15:37I have played a little bit more golf. I am I I pray more times a day now and more engaged in my conversation with god than I've ever been. It's not like, oh, it's 09:30.
15:45I'm gonna hit my knees and say my prayers now. It's all the time or any time.
15:50The day. Yeah. So that's changed things for me, and I think it's made me lighter.
15:53I don't think I'm quite as I think my tendency like, you don't have I think I'm a I can be heavy. You know what mean? Like, I can be wound up and heavy.
16:00Do you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm an intense guy. Who?
16:03You? What? I know I know.
16:06And I'm just I'm a little lighter. It's a little lighter to be around me. By the way, how do you do this?
16:11This is what I the this I'm referring to. You have an anointing to communicate.
16:17Is it just an anointing or have you worked at it? Like, you're an incredible actress. You also have this form of expression of writing
16:24that you've been great at, and you are electric on stage.
16:29I mean, you are clearly That means a lot coming from you. Thank you. By the way, and I'm and I mean that.
16:35And I am a little bit of I think my ability to compliment people on speaking is I I really am sort of scrutinizing on that. It's a crap. You are unbelievable.
16:44Wow. Okay. Truly remarkable.
16:46And even in this environment, have you worked on this? Is this an anointing? Did you pick it up from dad?
16:50Like, what is that? I did not realize that first of all, thank you. But I didn't realize until later in life
16:58that my whole upbringing, I was in a master class for communications. Mhmm. It it is what it is.
17:04I my dad has been my pastor since I was one year old.
17:10Every Sunday, pretty much, for my entire life, I have watched Tony Evans preach.
17:16He is a master orator. Mhmm. Clearly,
17:19he is a preacher, so he's preaching the bible. But even if he wasn't, his ability to tie illustrations to principle,
17:27his ability to make sure the message is concise and clear, because sometimes as communicators, the hardest thing is to cut out all the extraneous things that might be great points, but they're not the point. Mhmm. And then your audience being able to take away the one thing you were saying,
17:41that's hard. I watched dad do that every week. Mhmm.
17:44So the reality is just the craft of communicating. Mhmm. I didn't realize I was absorbing that.
17:51I thought everybody spoke like that. And because of who also dad was around, um, my early years, I was around Zig Ziglar.
18:01Wow. I just was with him. He was like a grandfather.
18:04I was just around him at events and sitting next to him and talking to him and watching him speak. Wow. I was around Anne Graham Lotz, who's one of Billy Graham's daughters, and, oh my gosh, I was just watching her like, you gotta be kidding me.
18:15Mhmm. You know? So there were people that I was just around, and I was watching the craft that I did not know in those years I would be a communicator for a living in this way.
18:24I didn't know that or for a ministry. So, um, in hindsight, I realized it wasn't something that I was actively practicing.
18:31I was just absorbing. And then, obviously, through the years, when you're doing a thing you know, I look back on some of my writing from, you know, twenty years ago, and you look back at some of that, you're like, lord, have mercy. Told you.
18:42What in the world? Every league. Who was reading this?
18:45You know? So it's just in the doing of a thing.
18:50I do think, and I'm grateful for this, that I wasn't so timid
18:56even though I knew my limitations that I wouldn't just do it anyway. Meaning, sometimes when we know our weakness, we know we're not that great of a thing, it keeps you from even trying.
19:08Mhmm. And whenever I would be in that moment where I'm like, uh-uh, I'm not gonna speak because I'm not good enough, or I'm not gonna write because I can't, There would be some voice of encouragement saying, just do it. Just put the words down as you can.
19:20And in exercising that, you don't know that you're building one layer on top of another, and there's maturity coming as you're going.
19:28So I am grateful that was just doing it all along even though I look back and go, man, that was terrible. That was a terrible paragraph I wrote in that book. But it's all exercise.
19:38Mhmm. And you're building maturity and excellence as you go. It's so funny you say that I just redid the audio version of one of my books, and I'm like, oh my gosh.
19:47This is so bad. So It's just like crippling when you look back on it.
19:52You know? But what I did learn, I just wanna reinforce a principle for people that are listening is that maybe you're not a stage speaker. Maybe you're a salesperson.
19:58Yeah. Heck. Maybe you're just a mom or a dad.
20:00What you said about editing and cutting it down to fewer words, I gotta tell you, my biggest blessing was I was a broadcast major in college.
20:09It's ironic that you were too? Yeah. Okay.
20:11There's success leaves clues. Right? And And so I didn't come back to doing it.
20:14I didn't know there was pod when I was in college, there were no podcasts. I never knew I would even use it. Right?
20:19But what you learn in broadcasting is to say something most people say in more words and fewer because you gotta get it into bites. And so I learned to write and communicate, think that way. You're totally right about that.
20:29Mhmm. Less is usually more in your sales presentation. Even with your kids, it's usually less is more.
20:35So I really, really believe that. Way in most areas of life, even in the most fundamental silly ways like your closet. If you have so much stuff in there, this might be a woman's problem.
20:45No. It I relate. You got so much stuff in there, you actually end up wearing the same three things over and over because you can't see what's in there.
20:51It's all smashed together. It's too complicated. It's overwhelming.
20:54You walk in. You're just frustrated, so you just keep picking the same two or three things. Mhmm.
20:58You edit that stuff and get it down to some good things that you actually wear, that you like, they fit you now in this season of life, and you space it out. Mhmm. You start enjoying what you have and utilizing what you have more because there's less.
21:13Very, very well said. Wow.
21:15I did that. I did a podcast on it. I did a whole thing on spring cleaning your life, but it started with my own closet.
21:21I'm like, I why am I keeping this I haven't worn this shirt in eight years. Like Not eight. Well,
21:27I'm trying to be polite to myself. I've worn this shirt in twenty eight years. You know?
21:31I've been around a long time, but I I very much agree with that. Sometimes just spring cleaning opens up clarity, and you can see things that you wouldn't see.
21:39And by the way, even sometimes, I think you'd agree, sometimes even relationships. There are certain relationships
21:46in your life that you know aren't serving you, but you keep them around. Because it's comfortable? Yeah.
21:52Yeah. Do you agree with that? Oh, absolutely.
21:54There's so many things that, again, it's just there, whether it's a person or it's a habit that we've had or it's a, you know, something that's been a part of our life for as long as we can remember. And we haven't taken the time to do what you said earlier, which is just pause and reevaluate. Mhmm.
22:08We're just comfortable with it, And it's just a part of our daily rhythm we've never thought about. Is it serving me right now? Right.
22:13Or am I serving it right now? Am I offering value here? Am I just taking up space?
22:18Mhmm.
22:20One of the things that came to my mind earlier when you said you reevaluated now at this age in your life things that are not as important to you as they were in the twenties and the thirties. I was immediately thinking about how when you're 20 and you're 30 and you're maybe starting your forties even,
22:35when you're exercising and trying to eat right, it really is about fitting in them jeans. Like, I'm trying to look a certain way in clothes. When
22:42you're 45, 50, and 55, you're still wanting to be active, but my reasoning is different now. Hey, dear.
22:48I I'm I don't wanna jog necessarily all the time because of the impact it's having on my knees. Yep. I wanna walk when I'm 60.
22:55Mhmm. You know what mean? That's right.
22:56I want my my joints to be functional Yeah. When I'm 65 and when I'm 70.
23:02So I'm altering even the way I exercise and eat based off of the reality of where I am today. If I kept doing the same kind of exercises I did when I was 27, it might do more damage now Mhmm.
23:13Than help. What a great metaphor. Pausing to reval reevaluate
23:18is gonna cost us. Yeah. You know the other thing too?
23:21By the way, I'm loving this. I love it too. These are great questions.
23:24They are. Well, they're right on they're right on time for my life too because I do train very differently now. I'm not trying to get to the beach and you go,
23:32by the way, I did for a long time. Wow. Like, I don't that's okay with me now.
23:36I'm trying to blow the shoulder out. I'm trying to be able to throw a baseball to my grandkids someday. Right?
23:40That's why I want my shoulders to work. Yeah. I wanna ride a horse, you know, not fall off.
23:45But That's right. There's this great I I wanna ask you about this. I was thinking about people I was about to interview when I watched this clip, and you came to my mind.
23:52And it's not a faith thing. It's ironic. Although I when I see faith things, I think of you a lot,
23:57um, because your speaking is so incredible and has had an impact on me watching it. Truly. Truly.
24:02Glad. Truly. Um,
24:04so there's this new show Taylor Sheridan wrote called the Madison. I think I'm saying it right. Have you heard about this?
24:09I have only yes. I've seen a little clip of it. I haven't watched it yet, but it looks who is who is it?
24:14Kurt Russell and Michelle Pfeiffer. Michelle Pfeiffer. Yeah.
24:16That's the It's really well done. I enjoy great. And at least so far.
24:19And, um, but there's this scene, and I'll mess it up, but I wanna mention it to you and get your perspective on it. There's a scene, and it's I won't say what happens on the show, but it's Kurt Russell, and he's on this, like, porch with his brother.
24:31And you could tell they're very close, and they're in a rocking chair. It's just this beautiful scene. And they're talking about life, and I'm paraphrasing here, but Kurt Russell just he says, we were just on vacation in The Caribbean somewhere.
24:42And he goes, you know, I watch these people. I'm about fifteen years younger than them, and I watch these people.
24:48They're on the beach from my balcony, and they work their entire life to get to one moment,
24:54which was this moment. And they can't do anything about it because they're they're beat up. They're too old.
25:01They sacrificed their entire life for a moment was to get to the metaphorical beach of life. And by the time they got there, it was too late to enjoy it.
25:10And these are the people that got there. Right? And he said, then I watched him at the restaurant that night, and it was their dream.
25:17Someday, I'm gonna and I feel like it really made me step back and think at my age too, but I think at any age, this serves somebody. Delaying your peace or delaying your happiness
25:29for a moment of achievement. And this is you know, we're talking to a woman here who said just such success and so many achievements. But what would you speak into somebody's life about that?
25:38Because I feel like most people are like, I'm gonna be happy when I get to that beach, when I get that house paid off or get out of that car or that relationship or that. And a lot of times by the time you get there,
25:50it's no longer the time. Right? I'm wondering what you think about that.
25:55Man, about a a trillion thoughts just went through my head. I think I would tell my younger self Yeah. This is it.
26:04You're in it. If you will milk and enjoy and treasure and take the opportunity
26:11to really engage with the people that are in this season, build the relationships, build the bridges,
26:17learn the skill, watch, absorb. You don't even know that the key for what you need in the next season is in your current season. I
26:25would tell my young 20 year old self, girl, this is it. Enjoy this part of the journey. Single.
26:31Enjoy being single. Because when you're married, then you're gonna think, I want I want the kids. Then you're gonna have the kids, and you're gonna think when they go to college, there's always this next piece.
26:40But what you need for the next piece is in the piece you're in. And and if you miss it, you'll look back on the season. There were a couple times in my life where I looked back on a season,
26:52you know, the winds of change blew and blew me out of a season just like that. Mhmm. And then I looked back and went, oh my goodness.
26:59There were treasures I missed. There were lessons I didn't gain. There was character I didn't build.
27:04There were relationships within which there was opportunity because your resources are in your relationships. If
27:12you don't garner and foster and cultivate those relationships while you're there, you don't even know you have just demolished a bridge that was a part of what would take you to the next level of opportunity or, um, invitation that you had for the next elevation point in your life. So I would tell myself,
27:30you're in it. Milk it. Enjoy it and get everything out of it and give everything to it that God has put you here for.
27:39I feel like there's a little bit of, like, a like, a blessing over our conversation right now. So I don't usually do this on the podcast.
27:47Go back. Usually, I'm just asking questions. But I wanna share something with you about what you just said.
27:51A few weeks ago, I spoke at an event. And, uh, like you, I speak, you know, quite a bit. And there was a q and a in this little boardroom with, like, their VIPs,
28:01and the founder of the event was there. I won't say his name, but I was really impressed with this man at the event. I actually when I got back, I said to my wife, I said, this guy's got his act together.
28:10He just liked him. He loved the lord, seemed to have a good family life. In fact, after the event, he was supposed to go fly fishing with his son.
28:17Anyway, there was a young man in the room, and he asked a question, what advice would you give your younger self?
28:25And my advice was very similar to what you just said. I said you're as young and as focused as you'll ever be in your life. This is the time.
28:32This is it. This is the time. And I said, I promise you ten years from now, you're gonna realize that was the time even though then that will be the time.
28:38That's right. Right? That's right.
28:40And I had that conversation with him, and I felt good about my answer. You know what I'm saying? I felt like that's really what I think.
28:46In any event, I found out this week that that man that was running that event with his son just recently died in a plane crash,
28:57the two of them. Yeah. They were killed in a plane crash.
29:00And I tell you that Ed, both of them, the father and son? Yes. Yes.
29:04Oh, man. And a nephew. Oh, man.
29:07And but I say that to just a second what you said. Like, I had no idea how sort of prophetic that message was to that young man.
29:16It truly was the moment. And I'm not suggesting that that's because we're all gonna die prematurely. But like We will someday.
29:21Imagine if right. And imagine if we all kick our bliss down the road until some future date. Because at some point, you are going to not be here anymore.
29:30And so waiting around for the perfect conditions or the moment to give yourself the gift god would love you to have right now, which is just some peace in your life Yeah. Some bliss is not worth waiting for. So when you were talking, I was getting a little emotional there because I was thinking of that young man and his dad Yeah.
29:45At the event. Isn't that remarkable? It is remarkable.
29:47Mhmm. And, you know, my mom is in heaven now.
29:52She graduated to heaven when she turned 70. It was twenty days after she turned 70.
29:57Pretty young. Healthy her whole life. And then all of a sudden, just a cancer diagnosis that we had nine months with her, she was gone.
30:04She wanted to go to Australia her whole life. Mhmm. My dad and and and mom had it planned
30:11for two months after she was gone. I think that's a tender spot for my dad to this day. Mhmm.
30:17Because they planned to do it, but they were waiting till they were 70. Oh my goodness. So to your point,
30:25there are some things you don't need to be doing when you're younger because you don't need to be spending the money on it, the time on it. You gotta be wise. Yep.
30:31But there are some things we're waiting on this romanticized, idealized version of what life will be
30:38when. And the reality is you don't know what life will be then. You
30:42think you know, and you can plan accordingly. However, there are some things you need to fully engage and invest in right now Yeah. In the season of life god has given you because
30:52we don't know. Yeah. We don't know.
30:55Yeah. So good. Yeah.
30:56Bless your dad. I I I imagine he has very few regrets, by the way.
31:01So He's a he was a good dad, Is a good dad. Grandfather and now great grandfather. So we're blessed.
31:06CTASo many of you have asked how to see me speak live. And for the first time ever, you can come see me speak live in person. All of my speeches have been private events, but now I'm teaming up with LifeSearch speaking all over the country.
31:15CTALifeSearch is a one day faith based event where you'll walk in hungry for success, and you'll leave ready to build your resources to leave an impact on others. We're talking faith fueled finance, growing your resources, crushing obstacles, and then, yeah, using it all for something way bigger than yourself.
31:31CTAI'm joining LifeSurge in a few cities this year, and I'd love to see you there. I'll be sharing the stage with legends such as two time football champion Tim Tebow, star of Duck Dynasty, Willie Robertson, and leadership hero of mine, John Maxwell,
31:43CTApastor and author Craig Groeschel, and worship with artists like Natalie Grant. Tickets are on sale at lifesurge.com.
31:50CTAAnd just for my listeners, you can use the code e d 30 for 30% off a ticket. There will be a link in the show notes. So click through and take some time to join us.
31:59CTACities are being added all the time. So if you don't see one near you now, check back. I hope to see you there.
32:05Well, you're leading me to my next point. We don't have that much time, but I've met one of your sons, JC. Right?
32:10JC. Yep. Yeah.
32:11Very impressive. Thank you. He's a good kid.
32:14He is. Yeah. Mature
32:16Mhmm. Polite, uh, very smart.
32:20But even in the couple times that he's messaged me, there's a He's out here messaging you? Oh, no. My son is messaging at my I've asked him to Oh, we met.
32:28No. And and and he Checked on these kids. No.
32:30No. No. No.
32:31No. I wanted him to, and, um, he gets it.
32:34There's a rhythm there. You said something with your dad earlier that it was really caught, not taught. Right?
32:39Yeah. I'm just wondering as someone who is busy, you know, I can I can attest to at least one of your children?
32:45There's some good fruit there. Thank you. What would you say to somebody who's
32:50you know, they're raising a family and pursuing a dream right now and maybe feeling guilt. You know? I'm I'm at work too much or I'm here.
32:57Or when I'm at home, I feel like I should be at work. Just that whole conversation. What would you say to them?
33:03To be as intentional as you can. You you are going to feel that. I mean, you know, anybody who's doing anything, splitting their time in any two important ways or three important ways, you are gonna feel a measure of that Mhmm.
33:15Because we're human. Be as intentionally as you can about mapping out. But what is the priority here?
33:20And let me make sure that I'm giving it as much as I possibly can, in this case, our family. JC called me recently. He was
33:29engaged in a friendship with a young woman that he was considering. Maybe this could be a little bit something more he wasn't sure, but he was having conversations with her. She's very ambitious, very driven by career the
33:40possibility of her career moving forward. And it occurred to him in conversation that there was a little bit of difference in the way he saw family
33:48than she might. So he called me, and he said, mom, we were with y'all all the time.
33:54We traveled with y'all. We homeschooled our boys for a long time so they could travel with us. Mhmm.
33:58We were with y'all all the time. We were in the green rooms with you. We were you know, you were at home when we were at home.
34:04You know? You were gone some, but it it just felt like y'all were we were with you. Yeah.
34:08Was that just because life worked out that way, or did you guys intentionally make that Great question.
34:14How our family yeah. I said, JC, that's a great question. That was a decision your dad and I made.
34:20Mhmm. We could have been gone all the time. We decided
34:24that if you couldn't be with us, we weren't going. Mhmm. Mhmm.
34:27So did that cost us? Yes. Were there things we had to sacrifice?
34:30Yes. Were we exhausted? Yes.
34:32Yeah. But we just decided. We didn't do it perfectly.
34:35Man, there are some things I'd go back and do a little bit differently still to this day, so it's not gonna be right. But know it wasn't by mistake. Mhmm.
34:43Even your dad being as present in your life as he has been. A lot of young men and young women can't say their dad was around, maybe mom. But dad was busy.
34:50Dad was at work. Mhmm. Dad was dad was building a career.
34:53But the fact that your dad was at all your games and took y'all to practices and was at the dinner table and was a part of y'all's life in that sort of intentional way, you better believe your dad made that decision, and it cost him. So
35:06I appreciated Mhmm. That JC,
35:09it was occurring to him that unless you choose priorities
35:14and then mold your life around those priorities, those priorities will be watered down. Life will take you in different directions
35:22just like we have to be intentional about our health. We have to be intentional about making time to read a book for our mental health if we wanna continue to buoy up our education, our inspiration, just like you have to be intentional with all those other areas of your life.
35:34The reality is when you're raising a family, if you are not sort of molding and sacrificing to make sure this is the priority, it won't magically be.
35:44Yeah. You're gonna have to be intentional about it just like all the areas of of life. But you know what?
35:50And I'm getting a little long winded. No. You're not.
35:52I saw that. My dad and mom did that. And now in hindsight, see, when you're grown and you have your own kids, that's when you realize, oh, they didn't really enjoy this all the time.
36:03It wasn't natural. They were choosing. Mhmm.
36:05So us sitting around the table for dinner, four kids, attitude problems, don't wanna be here, would rather be watching TV, mad because the chicken's not cooked right. Right.
36:14Mom wasn't, like, just thrilled about that. Sure. Right.
36:18She just kept doing it anyway Yeah. Because it was her priority that we sit around that table.
36:23It was the standard. Yeah. She just decided this is what we're gonna do for the culture of our home.
36:27Yeah. And so I Wow. Very well said.
36:30My goodness. Yeah. So Yeah.
36:31Gotta be intentional. That's the bottom line. You one thing about him and you, my favorite people have a a unique quality that I just enjoy their company,
36:40and that is that they're confident, yet they toe this line of they also have humility.
36:46It's a unique nuance in people. I I I don't know if you agree, but Yeah. We've both known people that have a ton of confidence
36:54and lack humility, and they can become pretty difficult to be around. The depth of the relationship doesn't go very deep. And typically, I think without that humility, they think it's them.
37:03They don't know where the blessings come from sometimes. They end up sort of flaming out or making a mistake or you know? And then we also have friends who have tons of humility
37:12and no confidence, and you're kinda carrying them through life. They end up being
37:17oh, boy. I just got a text from so and so. Here we go.
37:20You know? And so I'm wondering if you
37:24do you do something to cultivate that? Is that your faith life? Like, you do have that, Priscilla.
37:28You're confident, but there's a ton of humility there. Is that is that a conscious thing? Is that something from your faith?
37:34Is that something you intentionally instilled in your children? Because JC has that. Gosh.
37:39I would say it's a combination of all those things, to be honest, definitely the faith because, you know, I I'm just so aware that except for the grace of god. I mean, where would we be if he weren't so kind and gracious and merciful
37:53to bestow upon us another breath for the next day? You know? I'm aware of the fact that he has been gracious.
37:59So I'm constantly aware of that. But then I think family humbles you.
38:04Yeah. Your your kids are gonna look at you and go, you're not that great. Right.
38:08Know I mean? Right. They're gonna, you know, look at the movie and go, that was terrible.
38:11You know? Do they really? Okay.
38:14Or not terrible, but they'll be like, that's alright. I'm fine. You know?
38:16Right. Right. So you have people around you that have been in your life Mhmm.
38:20Whether it's your family or friends you've had since you're nine. And and that kinda just reminds you we're all we're all out here doing important things. Mine is not more important than their thing even if it's less broad or they have a smaller platform.
38:33Their thing is just as important as my thing. So we're all doing something that matters Mhmm.
38:38For the kingdom of God, but also just on earth. Mhmm. We're all impacting people.
38:42Mhmm. So I think I'm just around people who their presence helps to sober us all up, that we all matter.
38:50Also, I've been in settings I've been in settings, um,
38:55where I realize how small I am in the bucket in that setting. Because you're you're in this atmosphere where, oh my gosh, that person has 20,000,000 followers Mhmm. On Instagram, or this person over here is
39:07speaking every weekend to 10,000 peep you know, you're around people who it makes it it gives you some frame of reference. Some perspective. Yes.
39:14Yeah. Some perspective. So Mhmm.
39:16I'm also grateful for that, that I'm just a small part of a big puzzle. And I think because I happen to be around a bunch of people who are doing great things on whatever level, it's just a reminder that I'm just another person doing hopefully helpful things for other people. The other thing you do really well I got one more question for everybody.
39:31I just wanna acknowledge something in you that I've noticed. I just think behind the scenes, people may not know about you. You're incredible at making other people feel seen
39:39Oh. And good about themselves. You're you're intentional about it.
39:43That's not just something you do. You you do it very well. You did it the first time you met me.
39:47I I remember you being so complimentary of me, and you'd saw seen me speak or something. And and that but you do that with everybody. And you by the way, that's one hack to being a happier person and more confidence is just believe in other people and love them and express it.
40:01Yeah. It's a shortcut. Cool.
40:03But it's really it's it's one of your superpowers. And I I have to imagine that that's also true in parenting. I do.
40:09I just wanna acknowledge that piece of you. Thank you. That's awesome.
40:13Thank you very much. I feel encouraged with this podcast. Well, I'm I'm setting you up for a hard question at the end.
40:19Okay. Here we go. So here it is.
40:20This is an important one, and I wanted to ask you this. I should have asked more people of faith that I admire this question. You're gonna be the first.
40:26K. Most people watching this, because you're on it, will be believers. Mhmm.
40:33They're they're Christians. They're in the church, but some aren't.
40:37Yeah. And there's a lot of people, you and I both know this, that
40:42some I think my friend, Era McManus, says it sometimes with it. Sometimes Christians are the biggest obstacle to Jesus, meaning this Yeah.
40:50That there are people that, you know, they look at church or people in church or they were wronged by someone who's a believer or whatever. They have this thing like, you know, some of it looks really good, but some of it doesn't look so good to me.
41:02And but I want peace in my life. I want the love of god in my life.
41:07I think I hear this whisper where I wanna come home. Yeah.
41:11You know? They've heard it all their life, yet people people oftentimes
41:16can kinda get in the way. Totally. Right?
41:19Yeah. And so there may be somebody today that's come to the show that's in my audience or your audience that's watching this, and they have that feeling right now.
41:27What would you say to them? That people and just the things of earth will constantly disappoint.
41:35And instead of them turning us off to a relationship with god, they're supposed to be a reminder and an .
41:46That's why it bothers us. That's why the hurt we faced by that person, the Christian who was a hypocrite, who didn't have integrity, who said one thing and did another thing, the reason why you have the distaste is because there's something in all of us that knows this is not the way it's supposed to be. So instead of it turning us off to a relationship with God, really let it press you into him.
42:07It's it's his invitation. It's an opportunity for you to see that he is not them. Heaven is not Earth.
42:15And you're dissatisfied with it because you were made for something more. Wow.
42:20And he's offering you an opportunity to take that invitation.
42:26We're made for something different. That's why death stings the way it does. That's why sickness makes us go, man, this is not this is not something a baby passes away.
42:36Something about that doesn't work. Divorce, betrayal, it breaks our heart. It devastates us.
42:41That's why. Because we weren't made for this. So
42:45let that be the invitation to you, god reaching out his hand saying, come. Come walk with me. There's only one perfect one who ever existed.
42:53It's not me, not you, not anybody around you. We've put that expectation on them.
42:59Mhmm. And that's why it continues to devastate us, but there's only one perfect one. His name is Jesus, and he'll give you the peace you've been looking for.
43:07Amen. Okay. You slayed that answer, just FYI, and you know you did.
43:12CTAThis was such a good conversation. It was a great conversation. Can can we do this, like, at least every couple years?
43:26CTAThank you. You guys, sometimes they say, please share the show, but I'm pretty sure today I don't need to even ask you to do it. So thank you so much for joining us.
— full transcript
§ 05 · For Joe
What a purposeful no actually protects.
WHAT TO LEARN
Saying no from security — not guilt, not fear — is the mechanism by which you keep the margin, presence, and energy that real priorities actually require.
- A yes said out of guilt or FOMO carries a deferred cost: you arrive at that commitment already resentful, and the people on the other end of your yes get a version of you that wished it said no.
- Margin is not blank space on your calendar — it is the resource from which presence, creativity, patience, and unexpected connection are drawn. A full calendar is not a full life.
- Trusting an outcome to something beyond your control is not passive; it requires doing your part fully and then stopping, which is harder than most people admit.
- The rhythm you see on social media has been filtered and constructed. You are not watching someone's pace — you are watching their highlight reel, with zero information about the price they are paying.
- The key for your next season is usually already present in your current one. Missing it by rushing is one of the most common ways people lose compounding value they cannot recover.
- Intentional parenting is not a personality trait or a circumstance — it is a series of decisions made in advance, each with a real cost, that compound over years into the culture of a family.
- Confidence without humility produces shallow relationships and a high ceiling for catastrophic error. Humility without confidence produces a person others have to carry. The rare and useful combination requires both held simultaneously.
- Making someone feel seen is a practice, not a personality gift. It compounds over time and opens relational depth that strategy cannot replicate.
- The dissatisfaction you feel with people who have failed you in a faith context is not evidence against the faith — it is the signal that you were made for something those people were never equipped to deliver.
