In this video, I'm going to show you one of the most powerful effects I have ever seen in my life.
I'm going to show you how the backwards law,
or what is called the law of reversed effort
is the key to finally becoming free.
It's the key to letting go of the resistance
that is literally blocking
that which you want.
When you apply this in your life, you'll notice that you feel more calm.
You'll notice that you don't put people or things on a pedestal.
You don't create an energetic block between you and others,
and you're finally able to feel safe inside of your body.
You're able to be present and okay with how things happen knowing it is not your job to control it, to manage it.
Now, let's look first off at one of the most important ideas that I think can shift more than anything else.
It's understanding
that the inside
mirrors the outside.
So how you feel on the inside,
no matter the action you take to control things,
infuses energy into the process.
Now,
this means that you can try to change the outside but just like you know, if you stare at a mirror,
if I were to look into this mirror and I were to wait for the mirror reflection to change,
and I were to try to make it change
by changing the mirror,
of course that would create lots of resistance.
Now you know, you're like okay, the way that it works is you must change your expression
then the mirror changes.
But you see with the backwards law,
or the law of reversed effort,
it's like subconsciously
the belief
is that I must change this
in order to feel safe.
In order to feel okay.
Now let me first off give credit where credit is due. The backwards law
is an ancient technique that has been known for thousands of years, but been popularized
by Alan Watts.
It's like the more you try to control,
the more out of control you feel.
The more you want people to like you,
the more your energy's all messed up. The more you're performing,
and the less people can actually like you.
But why is it when you let go?
Why is it when you're good either way whether people like you or not?
Why is it when you're good either way with how things happen? Because there's self acceptance,
then there's less resistance and it's like things happen better for you anyways.
Have you ever had it where you want someone to get back to you?
Like you're texting someone, you want their response, and you think about it, you think about it, you think about it, and you're trying It's like you're trying to
project energy or
you want them to respond, and the more you want it the more, like the longer it takes.
But the moment you're like good either way,
the moment you let go and forget about it, many times is the time that it actually comes in your life.
Ain't that interesting?
Now for myself,
something I'll share that actually happened very recently for me is this
thing where I've been in this process of actually closes.
By the time this video go out, the house will have already closed and it already been a done deal.
Which is very nice.
But what happens is,
there was this desire at many points along the process. There was this like bumps along the road where what I actually found shifted the energy
was accepting
if the deal didn't go through.
Because I wanted to sell a house.
Part of it by the way too, I was aware that
part of the dynamic
This is interesting to think about.
You know, I've heard this said recently that like, it's not always about money when you're trying to attract something.
It's about your relationship to the thing.
Money is just like a variable.
And when I would think about, the big shift for me selling this house by the way, is I realized
that my life over the years have gotten kind of complex with like
you know investing in houses situation which has kind of become a headache to manage.
And it was this house in Austin that I wanted to sell.
And I realized that the emotion that I felt around it was burdened.
It was feeling trapped.
There's every year there's these property taxes here in Texas which you pay every single year which is very high.
And it was just like this this thing that the market's not as good so it was like the rental on it wasn't making as much as the bills were. And I was like why does this this is leaky energy?
And I felt trapped.
And I felt like I want to let it go.
And what I also became aware of is part of my childhood pattern and energy
around childhood was like I feel trapped. I feel burdened by it. I want to let it go.
So what I realized was that, oh, there's a connection here. This is familiar to me in some way.
And what I also realized is throughout the journey, there was an energy of trying to control the outcome. Why isn't it happening yet? There was also like a payoff for being a victim in a way.
I think I talked about this in the last video.
So it's like almost like this is happening to me. I wanted to change. I was subconsciously
not running around like, I'm such a victim, such a victim. But just like annoyed by it, frustrated by it.
And eventually,
what I realized is the moment things really shifted,
was the moment I chose not to be a victim.
Not to see myself as like this is happening to me, and realizing I can handle it.
Not only can I handle it, but I'm going to do what I can to shift it, and I'm not going to like let my outer
reality
affect
the inner reality
as needing to happen so I could feel okay?
What if I could feel okay now?
What if I could feel free now?
You see that was like a shift for me, and literally within one day of choosing not to be a victim,
there was an offer on the house.
And what was great
is,
it was a low offer that we eventually negotiated. We got it to work.
And then along the journey there was little bumps that came up. You know paperwork and all this stuff. It's like, oh maybe the deal falls through.
And I would recognize that I had this desire almost like, I could tell I would almost like at times want reassurance from the real estate agent. Like is every I because you know, he's the middle man and I'm like, is everything okay with it?
Wanting a wanting that
confirmation everything was okay.
Wanting to know I'll be free soon. Right? I'll change the outside soon. Right?
And I could tell that the more resistance I infused into it, the more bumps would come up and the more I would just not also enjoy the process.
However, I took every sign, every time something a bump would happen, what I would recognize
is that believing my freedom,
the abundance, the love, the freedom is on a pedestal. I started to realize
maybe the opposite
is actually something I can accept.
So like imagining that the deal doesn't go through.
Are there ways in which the deal doesn't go through that that's actually beneficial?
And here's what I realized.
We're at the bottom of the market right now. I really believe that. I just don't want to continue dealing with it. I believe that in two or three years it'll be worth way more and I'll make actual money, like good money on it.
And what I don't know is I don't know that if this didn't go through, that then I would find like the perfect tenant to be in the house for a year or two.
We don't know if that deal didn't go through that another deal would come through that's even better.
Which the real estate agent actually says, what if this doesn't go through? He's like, I have an offer right now that's that's that just closed and the initial offer didn't go through, and then the second offer that from somebody else that came through is even more. It's $50,000 more
than the original.
And now that went through. Was like, okay, well that's a good situation. Right?
But I realized I was so
not wanting the opposite
that I was creating resistance and actually just blocking things from flowing.
But what I found is that the more I could use this backwards law in a way
to realize that my ego doesn't understand
the whole larger vision.
And what I could also do is become aware
that what my control pattern was, what is what I call a protest behavior.
And when you learn this, and how in your life you might be using these protest behaviors
to get different outcomes. You then see it's like, what emotion am I avoiding?
The analogy by the way of a protest behavior reminds me of the still face experiment.
You've probably heard me talk about many times where a mom and her baby are interacting and it's like the mom then comes back with a still face and the baby starts freaking out.
Before the baby's freaking out because mom's not emotionally present.
Even though mom is present, she's just not emotionally present. She's physically there though.
The baby starts pointing, ah.
Mom, come back. Control.
And that's a way of getting the needs met.
Now in protest behavior it's like, I want people to like me.
That creates,
what are we avoiding
by people wanting us to like us? We're avoiding disapproval or rejection.
But a lot of times we have to abandon ourselves
in order to get that. We have to abandon ourselves in order to get that approval or validation. And what I'm saying,
and one of the main parts of this video is that if you can actually accept the opposite,
you will be more free.
If you can accept the opposite, you will be more present.
It's about more so having a neutral
perspective,
a neutral
relationship
to the thing knowing that the thing,
the reflection
does not need to dictate your inner state.
Why is it so often
people attract love into their life?
When they let go of eating, needing love at all.
When they let go of looking for it.
When they're good either way with how things happen.
The law of reversed effort is that effort equals resistance.
And when you're efforting,
when you're efforting and trying to control,
you're
infusing resistance onto what you want and that resistance actually blocks the attainment of it.
Now realize that by the time you get what you want, it will feel natural to your nervous system.
So the key is not needing the external thing so that your nervous system can feel a certain way,
it's regulating your nervous system now.
It's the self acceptance
now.
Now here's one of the things and one of the reasons people also subconsciously feel like they need to do these protest behaviors. You ready for this?
You ready?
They're afraid that if
What does it mean
about
me
if I don't get this thing?
We're afraid that subconsciously it means that we're not good enough.
You see deep down this is where you get down to the deeper level healing.
Reminds me of the movie Goodwill Hunting.
There's a powerful scene where Robin Williams and Matt Damon are talking.
And
Robin Williams is like, it's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. And then Matt Damon's like, what? Stop. Shut up. And all of sudden he
crying.
It's not your fault.
And
it hits a deeper core when you get to that it's not your fault energy, in the sense that
internalizing
the outside thinking it means
we're good enough on the inside
is a way that we stay trapped in the loop.
Because if we don't focus on what we're feeling or not allowing ourselves to feel, which I'll get to in a moment which is the shift
here,
is
managing the outside becomes a means to an end.
So things come things come forward to you
when you allow yourself to let go
of the resistance
and the effort to control the out come, the outside.
So the key to this is recognizing
that it's all about
you, your relationship to yourself, and your nervous system.
Your
how you feel inside of your body. So
let's look at this for a second. Also let me point out this.
Rooted in scarcity, think about this for a moment.
If there's an abundance of love,
if there's an abundance of money, there's an abundance of opportunity,
are you efforting
and trying to control
the outcome so much?
It's almost like there's a belief that God or the universe is only has so much,
And you had your chance and you have to make it work.
And when you realize that that's a scarcity,
it's literally a scarcity loop that you keep creating, you realize, wait,
Maybe I'm blocking more abundance from coming into my life. Just like with the house situation. Right?
This one offer. This one person. This one People that want to buy it.
What if there is an abundance to where I can't see it in the moment because I'm in the ego perspective, but what if on the opposite side of it, there is some If I can accept this,
it will then allow me to resonate with trusting the universe.
Trusting God.
And then because of that state,
somebody else with another opportunity could come forward that could be even better.
Could be an even better offer or an even more alignment thing or the timing is better.
There's an acceptance of that, and almost a relief.
You know, it's funny. I was talking to my assistant yesterday who told me that she was going to be moving from LA to like the outskirts a little bit, two hours away to like Big Bear or something like that. More nerve She wanted to regulate her nervous system. She was excited for this place that she negotiated to get to move into,
and she was looking forward to it.
And she was going move there with her dogs and live like way more regulated for at least one to five years she said, like at least a year or maybe longer.
And she was excited about it, but at the same time
what she said was, I'll let you know later today when I get it.
And she told me later on yesterday, she goes, oh by the way, I thought I was moving, I didn't get the house unfortunately.
They The owner backed out of the deal they were going give me on rent and utilities and everything.
And then I said, how do you feel about that? Like how do you feel in your body? And she goes, feel relief.
She goes, it's okay.
I feel relieved.
And what I told her was like listen, like when things like this happen,
if you feel relief by the way that's a that's a good that's a good sign.
That's a sign that like there's a your nervous system. Even though your
mind may have wanted it, which is a lot of this whole effort thing comes from the mind.
But what you don't know, what I told her is what you don't know is you don't know if there's a place that you were feel more aligned to that might come up in a month or two. And if you would have locked in a year at this other place that you've never lived before,
it may have not been
ideal for your growth.
You know, who knows? Maybe you're gonna meet your person or a deep relationship
in LA,
and if you leave right now, you might miss that.
Who knows? Maybe there's another place that you decide you want to move to and this would have taken the place of that. So like you're
Or there's another place even in that place that's like even better or more in alignment. You may have moved into that house and there may have been mold.
There may have been challenges. The landlord may have been nutso.
You don't know.
So if we can accept that maybe we don't know, maybe this is redirection,
it lets go of a little bit of the resistance, doesn't it?
So when we talk about
what we think we want and what we don't want,
it's like being more curious to realizing
that if we can accept what we don't want,
and we can realize that what we don't want
is not something like if we cannot because here's the thing, if you have an aversion to what you don't want, it's like you're also being controlled by it.
It's like you're avoiding it.
It's like, I don't want to attract people that are controlling and that I'm on eggshells around.
I want to attract people that I feel like I can be myself around.
But what you'll find is that if you're like, I can't attract people that I feel on eggshells around, you'll attract them into your life because you have an aversion to it. There's a there's literally a preference
in your nervous system that feels familiar to it that's also,
maybe you're attracting that person into your life to help you get to a place to where you're good either way
because you know where your true power is.
You know that you can stand your ground and stand in your frame around someone
that maybe has that energy.
You see that's the truth. That is when you're truly free.
Is when you're good either way
because you are able to feel safe within you.
Sometimes when I'm coaching people, people will say, well what if I attract, you know, I won't feel safe. It's like there's a belief that being around someone else at a certain point, it's like your power's going to be taken away.
And I'm like, you can reset boundaries. You can reset your frame
multiple times in a relationship,
or in friendship dynamics,
or in a job.
You have, you start to develop trust with you when you realize that you're not at the whim whims and a victim of everybody else around you.
Forced to do something in a certain way.
But you see this is where you could start to finally feel safe
inside of your own body because you are showing up for you.
And what's funny is what the law of reversed effort does or the backwards law does,
is it helps you take your desires off a pedestal.
It helps you accept the opposite
knowing you can be good either way,
and knowing that your true state of being is what's important here.
Having a sense of peace
on the inside
allows you to actually choose what you want.
So realize that this isn't also just about like Jedi mind tricking yourself. Okay. I'm just going to pretend and like manifest. I don't want I have a lot of resistance so I need to I need to like do this to get this result. I'll do what Aaron says so I can get this.
And true degree of transformation
and integration is when you can learn these principles,
and actually
allow yourself to embrace the uncomfortable emotions underneath the surface.
Because for me I like, isn't it funny? Because even now when I say this, you might say desire is evil.
Desire blocks what I want.
But if you don't let yourself feel desire,
you will create suppressed energy and resistance.
It's okay to feel desire
and it's okay
to feel lack.
If you let yourself feel either one, you're not controlled by either. There's just acceptance of what is.
There's an acceptance of the emotion underneath the surface.
You see this is where things really begin to shift because this is like the protest behavior is the thing that you can begin to release.
And that's why I'm good either way is such a powerful,
such a powerful thing.
So let yourself
embrace the emotions you've been avoiding feeling by trying to protest behavior control reality or having the effort.
If you can be present with that energy underneath the surface,
it's like then you can process it and then your nervous system begins to relax more
because you're no longer suppressing it and trying to control it.
So this is what's completely transformed my life to allow me
to
trust
God,
trust the universe,
flow with things, accept the emotion that comes up, and understand that this is a process
of allowing like when you are truly neutral.
You could still follow your passion excitement by the way, but the difference is that you're not attached to outcome.
So three shifts that will really help you with this,
is first off, the acceptance of the opposite.
Accept
the opposite of what you want. If you can accept, instead of trying to attract love or relationship, if you can accept being single and enjoy the process,
you will be more free,
and you will then let go of resistance
of trying to control the outcome.
You can also have a desire without believing that you need to manage it yourself.
You can set up the conditions,
but you don't have to control.
It's like, can you make a plant grow?
It's like, you can put the plant in the sun and water it, but you don't make it grow. God does that.
So this allows you to accept.
The opposite allows you to balance out the energy, not have aversion.
Because both aversion
and acceptance
are what blocks
that which you want.
So becoming more neutral allows you to become the kind of person that generates state from within.
The kind of person that feels the uncomfortable emotions that come up, which is why when you let go and actually embrace and accept the feelings underneath the surface,
that's where things will really shift.
So for me in the house situation, it was accepting
feeling trapped.
Accepting the burden.
Allowing myself to feel it.
Allowing myself to to embrace that.
When it comes to love and relationship, you might say, oh, you feel lack or scarcity or you feel alone. If you can embrace it,
accept it,
you will begin to, in a way,
reverse the backwards law, the law of reversed effort, because then it's like no longer avoiding it,
and then you start you'll start to feel more free.
And then, of course, as well, you can take action without being attached to the outcome.
It doesn't mean you'd be passive, by the way. It doesn't mean the backwards laws like you don't take action. You just wait for things. You just have to get into energetic flow.
This is about also moving through the process,
not waiting till the desire goes. You can take action
and still feel lack.
You can take action
and
still
be aware of your insistence of an outcome,
but recognize that you can bring your energy back and put the energy inside your state.
And if you wanna learn exactly how to apply the backwards law and to actually let go, will completely transform your life, here's the most popular video I have on letting go. It's got over 2,000,000 views. Here's the comments to see what's possible once you watch it. Go ahead and watch this video next. Learn how to let go, and learn how to actually apply what you just learned.