WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:07.120 I used to be a dreamer. I have big dreams but did nothing. The day I understood why 00:00:07.120 --> 00:00:24.905 and how to fix it, everything in my life changed. Think about something you have always wanted to start for a long time. Maybe a business, a fitness goal, creative project, a completely different life. You think about it all the time and you believe you can do it. You talk about it. You prepare the plan. 00:00:25.145 --> 00:00:28.985 You imagine it, but nothing has started. 00:00:29.305 --> 00:00:32.240 Nothing has changed. And the question is, 00:00:32.560 --> 00:00:42.400 why? You're not a lazy person. You actually care a lot. Today, I'm going to show you six reasons why this happened. Not from my opinion, from psychology. 00:00:42.400 --> 00:01:08.970 And once you understand them, you will never look at your own excuses the same way again. Reason number one, thinking about it feels like doing it. Here's the first reason and it's really sneaky. When you imagine your goal, like really imagine it, your brain release a small feeling of satisfaction like reward, like you already did something. Psychologists have studied this, and it's real. The brain doesn't fully separate 00:01:09.130 --> 00:01:10.650 imagining success 00:01:10.650 --> 00:01:13.715 from actually achieving it. Both activate 00:01:13.715 --> 00:01:19.475 similar feeling. So when you spend an hour thinking about your future business, your future body, 00:01:19.635 --> 00:01:20.755 your future life, 00:01:20.995 --> 00:01:24.835 your brain give you a taste of satisfaction 00:01:24.915 --> 00:01:28.420 like you actually did it. And that small taste 00:01:28.420 --> 00:01:29.940 make the urgency 00:01:30.100 --> 00:01:44.255 go away. So why start today when thinking about it for good? This is why some people keep talking about their dreams for years and never feel the pressure to actually move and start. The dream is already giving them something 00:01:44.415 --> 00:01:45.855 just by existing 00:01:45.855 --> 00:01:48.975 in their head. The problem is thinking 00:01:49.135 --> 00:01:50.815 it's not a progress. 00:01:50.895 --> 00:01:52.575 It feel like a progress, 00:01:52.735 --> 00:01:54.380 but it's not a progress. 00:01:54.780 --> 00:01:56.380 It's just imagining 00:01:56.380 --> 00:01:57.180 success. 00:01:57.180 --> 00:02:02.460 The dream in your head and the dream in the real life are two completely 00:02:02.540 --> 00:02:06.300 different things. And only one of them require 00:02:06.300 --> 00:02:17.125 you to act, which is the real success in real life. Reason number two, the dream is costing you every day. Most people think not starting is safe, 00:02:17.365 --> 00:02:18.805 free, and comfortable. 00:02:18.805 --> 00:02:22.860 But here's what actually happening. Every dream you haven't started 00:02:23.020 --> 00:02:26.300 is still alive in your head. It doesn't sleep 00:02:26.460 --> 00:02:30.140 and doesn't go away. It follow you every 00:02:30.140 --> 00:02:32.940 day. You feel it every night. 00:02:33.260 --> 00:02:35.660 You feel it when you see someone 00:02:35.900 --> 00:02:40.995 actually doing what you wanted to do. You feel it when another month pass 00:02:41.075 --> 00:02:43.075 and nothing changed. Psychologist 00:02:43.075 --> 00:02:55.430 call this the Zeigarnik effect. Your brain cannot let go of unfinished things. It keep them alive, it keep them active, and it keep reminding you every single day. 00:02:55.430 --> 00:03:01.030 You think it's okay to rest and wait, but your mind is working twenty four seven. 00:03:01.270 --> 00:03:02.550 Carrying the weight 00:03:02.710 --> 00:03:06.155 of things you haven't done. And the longer you wait, 00:03:06.315 --> 00:03:09.275 the heavier it gets. Waiting is not free. 00:03:09.515 --> 00:03:17.355 You pay for it every day, not with money, but with your peace of mind. So the question is not why I haven't started yet. 00:03:17.890 --> 00:03:19.810 The real question is 00:03:20.210 --> 00:03:24.690 how long are you willing to pay for something 00:03:24.690 --> 00:03:29.650 you never used? Reason number three, the dream is protecting something. 00:03:29.650 --> 00:03:30.850 Everyone says 00:03:30.930 --> 00:03:32.525 they scared of failing, 00:03:32.525 --> 00:03:47.790 but this is not the full truth. Here's what's really going on. Right now in your mind, you are the person who could do it. You could start your business. You could change your life. You could change your body. You could build something great. You haven't tried yet. 00:03:48.270 --> 00:03:57.230 So you haven't failed yet. So the dream, see perfect and see possible. But the moment you actually try something dangerous 00:03:57.230 --> 00:04:08.075 happen. You might find out the truth about yourself. What if you try and it's harder than you thought? What if the result is not great as you imagined? 00:04:08.235 --> 00:04:09.915 What if the dream 00:04:09.915 --> 00:04:11.835 when meet real life 00:04:12.075 --> 00:04:13.360 become smaller? 00:04:13.360 --> 00:04:16.160 This is the real fear. Not fading 00:04:16.320 --> 00:04:17.680 in front of others, 00:04:17.920 --> 00:04:21.840 but finding out that you are not the person 00:04:22.240 --> 00:04:27.685 you thought you were. Just take a moment to understand this line. This is this is so important. 00:04:27.845 --> 00:04:33.125 You have the fear to find out that you are not the person 00:04:33.525 --> 00:04:41.470 you thought you were. That's why your brain trying to protect you. So it's make quite deal with you and say, 00:04:41.790 --> 00:04:46.990 don't try, stay here. As long as you don't try, you still capable. 00:04:47.390 --> 00:04:49.470 And the dream, still perfect, 00:04:49.950 --> 00:04:53.175 still possible. That's the trick. And every day 00:04:53.495 --> 00:04:56.215 without knowing this, you agree. 00:04:56.215 --> 00:04:59.415 Your brain is not stopping you because it's weak. 00:04:59.735 --> 00:05:02.375 It's stopping you because it's protecting 00:05:02.375 --> 00:05:04.135 the best version of you. 00:05:04.840 --> 00:05:08.680 The version that exists only in your imagination. 00:05:08.760 --> 00:05:10.040 Reason number four, 00:05:10.280 --> 00:05:11.400 overthinking 00:05:11.640 --> 00:05:22.755 drains you before you even begin. Here is another reason that most people don't know this. You think too much and thinking too much is exhausting. 00:05:22.755 --> 00:05:25.475 You think about every possible step, 00:05:25.715 --> 00:05:27.395 every possible problem, 00:05:27.555 --> 00:05:33.555 every possible outcome. What if this happened? What if that happened? What if I make the wrong choice? 00:05:34.090 --> 00:05:38.170 You think too much, and by the time you finish thinking, 00:05:38.410 --> 00:05:50.325 you are already tired and exhausted without doing anything. You haven't done anything yet, but your brain feel like it's run a marathon. So you do nothing, not because you're lazy, 00:05:50.565 --> 00:05:59.605 but because thinking so deeply about something for so long use real mental energy, and this is called analysis 00:05:59.605 --> 00:06:00.405 paralysis. 00:06:01.140 --> 00:06:05.140 You get stuck in your own head. The more you think, 00:06:05.460 --> 00:06:06.980 the more complicated 00:06:06.980 --> 00:06:10.340 everything looks. And the more complicated it look, 00:06:10.820 --> 00:06:20.775 the harder it feel to start. The problem is not that your goal is too big. The problem that you are trying to solve everything 00:06:21.095 --> 00:06:22.375 in your head 00:06:22.535 --> 00:06:27.735 before even taking a single step in real life. And that's impossible. 00:06:28.055 --> 00:06:36.950 Some question get only the answer by doing the thing, not by thinking about it. Reason number five, and this is so important. 00:06:37.590 --> 00:06:38.870 Your identity 00:06:39.110 --> 00:06:41.990 doesn't match your goals yet. 00:06:42.070 --> 00:06:49.385 This one is so deep, but stay with me. Your brain is always trying to keep your action consistent 00:06:49.785 --> 00:06:52.265 with who you believe 00:06:52.505 --> 00:06:56.105 you are. Let me say that again. Your brain 00:06:56.185 --> 00:07:01.430 is always trying to keep your action consistent 00:07:01.910 --> 00:07:04.470 with who you believe 00:07:04.630 --> 00:07:07.830 you are. If deep inside you believe 00:07:08.070 --> 00:07:10.150 I can't be successful. 00:07:10.150 --> 00:07:15.075 I'm not a disciplined person. People like me don't become billionaire. 00:07:15.235 --> 00:07:17.795 So your brain will resist 00:07:17.875 --> 00:07:24.595 everything you do that go against that belief because your brain hate contradiction. 00:07:25.070 --> 00:07:32.270 It want your action to match your identity. And if your identity says you're not that person who does this, 00:07:32.750 --> 00:07:35.870 starting feel wrong and natural like 00:07:36.110 --> 00:07:41.325 wearing clothes that don't fit. This is why some people start strong and then slowly stop. 00:07:41.485 --> 00:07:42.765 It's not laziness, 00:07:42.925 --> 00:07:44.205 it's their identity 00:07:44.445 --> 00:07:50.125 pull them back. The goal was never really theirs. It belonged to the version of themselves 00:07:50.445 --> 00:07:52.125 that they hadn't 00:07:52.400 --> 00:07:57.040 become yet. And the only way to change this is not to try harder. 00:07:57.360 --> 00:07:58.800 It's to slowly 00:07:58.960 --> 00:08:00.880 start seeing yourself 00:08:01.120 --> 00:08:02.080 differently. 00:08:02.160 --> 00:08:05.760 Every small action you take, everything new you learn, 00:08:06.000 --> 00:08:13.015 every time you show up, build a new story about who you are. You don't need to be the person first. 00:08:13.255 --> 00:08:22.430 You become them by acting like them one small step at a time. Reason number six, you are in love with your potential 00:08:22.750 --> 00:08:24.270 not your effort. 00:08:24.510 --> 00:08:26.670 And this is the most uncomfortable 00:08:26.670 --> 00:08:30.270 one. Some people fall in love with who could they become 00:08:30.510 --> 00:08:34.510 but never actually become it because potential feel amazing. 00:08:34.590 --> 00:08:47.125 When you talk about your dream and people listen, this feel amazing. Right? You feel excited. You feel special. And you feel like someone who's going like somewhere big. But actually building something, 00:08:47.445 --> 00:08:50.965 that's different. It's hard. It's slow. It's boring sometimes. 00:08:51.370 --> 00:08:53.610 No one clapping, no one supporting, 00:08:53.610 --> 00:08:57.210 no one watching. And the version of yourself in your head 00:08:57.530 --> 00:08:58.650 successful, 00:08:58.730 --> 00:09:00.650 confident, unstoppable 00:09:00.810 --> 00:09:01.770 feels 00:09:01.770 --> 00:09:02.970 far away 00:09:03.050 --> 00:09:05.685 from the person who's sitting there 00:09:05.845 --> 00:09:15.605 doing the work. So instead of facing that gap, a lot of people choose to stay in the idea, in the conversation, in the plan because the plans always work 00:09:15.685 --> 00:09:16.165 perfectly, 00:09:16.710 --> 00:09:20.950 but the reality never does. But here is the thing I want you to understand. 00:09:21.190 --> 00:09:23.270 Even the people who built something, 00:09:23.670 --> 00:09:27.110 they also felt this. They also had that gap. 00:09:27.350 --> 00:09:30.390 They also had to adopt themselves. 00:09:30.390 --> 00:09:32.710 They just got more tired of waiting 00:09:33.485 --> 00:09:35.645 than they were scared 00:09:35.645 --> 00:09:36.845 of starting. 00:09:36.845 --> 00:09:42.525 That's the only difference between someone who dream and someone who actually built. 00:09:42.605 --> 00:09:49.090 Not the talent, not the confidence, and not the perfect moment. They just understood what's happening 00:09:49.250 --> 00:09:53.090 and took the decision to stop waiting. So how you actually 00:09:53.170 --> 00:10:03.425 break out of this? I'm not going to tell you just to start. You've heard that before a thousand times and it didn't help. Right? So here's something more useful. 00:10:03.745 --> 00:10:05.745 Stop trying to stop. 00:10:06.305 --> 00:10:09.985 Start trying to find out. So instead of thinking, 00:10:10.385 --> 00:10:12.625 I need to start this business, 00:10:12.945 --> 00:10:13.745 say, let 00:10:14.465 --> 00:10:19.800 me find out if this idea work. And instead of thinking, I need to get fit, 00:10:20.120 --> 00:10:20.840 think, 00:10:21.000 --> 00:10:30.280 let me find out how I feel after going to the gym once this week. So you are not committing, you are not betting everything. 00:10:30.440 --> 00:10:32.865 You're just a small question 00:10:33.185 --> 00:10:35.905 with a small action. This is important. 00:10:36.145 --> 00:10:39.505 When the first step feel like a test not a life decision, 00:10:39.585 --> 00:10:43.905 it feel much less scary. If it go wrong, you learn something. 00:10:44.065 --> 00:10:54.350 If it go well, you keep going. The dream stay big and the first step stay small. I remember my coach told me you don't need to be perfect to start. 00:10:54.670 --> 00:10:56.830 You need to start to be perfect. 00:10:57.230 --> 00:11:16.650 I was a malar person. I was a whole different person. I was too shy, too introvert. I can't even express my opinion. I can't even talk to the camera. I can't even talk to the people. I was born and raised in big family and I was the smaller person in the family and no one actually 00:11:17.610 --> 00:11:24.010 cared about my opinion. So when I grow up, I grew up shy person. I grew up introvert. 00:11:24.010 --> 00:11:28.090 I didn't even have the courage to start anything. 00:11:28.170 --> 00:11:31.125 Even in my corporate job, I was so private 00:11:31.365 --> 00:11:49.460 and I can't even talk to the other people in the office. But here I am today, I started anyway. I kept going, kept learning. I wasn't perfect. I was bad in speaking. I'm not native in English. English is my fourth language and I learned it anyway. I started growing, 00:11:49.540 --> 00:11:51.620 making money, retired my parents, 00:11:51.940 --> 00:11:53.060 do everything 00:11:53.060 --> 00:11:57.380 I dream about it. And I didn't found happiness by making money. 00:11:58.005 --> 00:12:01.445 I found happiness in the journey of becoming 00:12:01.685 --> 00:12:11.525 who I wanted to be. So you don't wait to feel ready. You act and then you feel ready. That's how it's actually work. All the successful people you see, 00:12:12.130 --> 00:12:14.930 they didn't start because they were confident. 00:12:15.170 --> 00:12:20.370 They become confident because they started. Imagine yourself five years from now. 00:12:21.410 --> 00:12:22.450 One version 00:12:22.850 --> 00:12:23.810 started, 00:12:23.970 --> 00:12:29.055 it wasn't perfect, it kept going, it kept learning, it kept growing. 00:12:29.215 --> 00:12:42.010 Some things was hard, some things didn't go as planned, but you kept going, you kept growing, and you build something, and you become someone different. And another version of you still planning, 00:12:42.410 --> 00:12:43.610 still waiting, 00:12:43.850 --> 00:12:44.970 still saying 00:12:45.290 --> 00:12:46.250 tomorrow, 00:12:46.330 --> 00:12:47.450 next week, 00:12:47.690 --> 00:12:48.730 next month, 00:12:48.890 --> 00:12:50.010 next year. 00:12:50.090 --> 00:12:55.895 The dream is still perfect but never touched by reality. Both feel okay right now. 00:12:56.455 --> 00:13:00.935 But only one of them feel okay after five years from now. 00:13:01.415 --> 00:13:05.720 And you know which one you've been living. The dream is not a problem, 00:13:05.960 --> 00:13:07.080 waiting is. 00:13:07.320 --> 00:13:10.600 And the waiting room has no exit 00:13:10.680 --> 00:13:12.520 until you decide 00:13:12.520 --> 00:13:19.295 to leave. If this video made you think about one specific thing you've been putting off, 00:13:19.695 --> 00:13:22.495 put it down in the comment not as a promise, 00:13:22.895 --> 00:13:25.535 but just to say it out loud. 00:13:25.775 --> 00:13:28.335 That's already a weird step ahead.