You were an hour late to our date?
That's okay, things happen.
You forgot to make a reservation?
That's okay, I'd rather stay in and have some fun.
You're going out with your friends on our night out?
It's fine, it's okay.
You forgot to send me a good night text,
can you please do something right for once?
You were five minutes late for our date?
What's wrong with you?
You were full of-
You were snoring last night.
If it happens again, I'm taking the kids
and divorcing you.