WEBVTT 00:00:00.320 --> 00:00:03.760 Every self help book has been lying to you about self sabotage. 00:00:04.000 --> 00:00:06.000 It's not a willpower problem. 00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:07.920 It's not a discipline problem. 00:00:08.480 --> 00:00:11.440 It's actually the most loyal thing 00:00:11.680 --> 00:00:13.280 you've ever done for yourself. 00:00:14.035 --> 00:00:14.755 But 00:00:15.235 --> 00:00:17.875 you've been doing it for the wrong person 00:00:18.435 --> 00:00:22.115 since you were three years old. I know that's a bit confusing, 00:00:22.195 --> 00:00:26.275 let me walk you through it. So you know the moment I'm talking about, 00:00:26.755 --> 00:00:27.875 the promotion 00:00:27.875 --> 00:00:32.570 is six weeks in and you just all of a sudden start showing up late. 00:00:32.810 --> 00:00:38.650 The relationship is finally healthy and you pick the fight you swore you would never pick again. 00:00:39.210 --> 00:00:46.845 The body feels good for the first time in years and what do you do? You reach for the bottle, you buy the bag of chips, 00:00:47.405 --> 00:00:49.485 you grab the food, the phone, 00:00:49.725 --> 00:01:03.430 the person that you already know is wrong for you, and you watch yourself do it. You hear the voice in your head saying, you shouldn't send this text and don't skip this workout and don't blow all this up. And then you do it anyway. 00:01:03.750 --> 00:01:08.150 Well, take a slow breath in for me and notice your shoulders for a second. 00:01:08.550 --> 00:01:09.590 Notice your jaw. 00:01:10.615 --> 00:01:16.295 Notice the place you've been holding onto this for a long time. Scan your body. 00:01:17.015 --> 00:01:19.735 You're not crazy and you're not broken. 00:01:20.135 --> 00:01:25.895 You're just running an emotional program that was installed inside of you before you ever had language 00:01:26.350 --> 00:01:29.150 and no one has ever named it for you correctly. 00:01:29.710 --> 00:01:32.350 So I'm going to share with you what's really happening. 00:01:32.670 --> 00:01:45.895 You see, as a child, you had absolutely no power. You couldn't argue with your parents. You couldn't control the emotional climate of your house. You couldn't decide whether love showed up that day or it got withheld. 00:01:46.935 --> 00:01:49.175 And that created an emotional 00:01:49.175 --> 00:01:49.895 chemical 00:01:50.215 --> 00:01:53.095 imprint in you. That powerlessness 00:01:53.335 --> 00:01:54.615 got recorded 00:01:54.615 --> 00:01:56.215 into your nervous system 00:01:56.630 --> 00:01:58.070 as a defining 00:01:58.070 --> 00:02:00.390 emotional blueprint reality. 00:02:00.870 --> 00:02:02.150 And your brain 00:02:02.630 --> 00:02:04.150 became chemically 00:02:04.150 --> 00:02:04.950 addicted 00:02:05.270 --> 00:02:06.710 to the feeling 00:02:07.030 --> 00:02:08.550 of not liking yourself. 00:02:09.525 --> 00:02:18.885 Now you can't stop this process, it happens to all of us. So there's nothing bad or defective about you. This is how the brain and body works when it comes to negative emotions. 00:02:19.605 --> 00:02:23.205 So now you're an adult and for the first time in your life, 00:02:24.090 --> 00:02:25.530 you get to choose, 00:02:26.730 --> 00:02:29.690 but your brain only asks one question 00:02:29.850 --> 00:02:31.530 it knows how to ask. 00:02:31.850 --> 00:02:35.450 And that question is, what's the fastest way to get my power back? 00:02:36.175 --> 00:02:42.575 Well, the answer to that, it's been giving you the same answer for decades and it's devastating. 00:02:43.775 --> 00:02:46.975 It's going to choose the things that don't work. 00:02:47.695 --> 00:02:52.335 And the reason it does it is because at least this time 00:02:51.470 --> 00:02:52.670 you chose it. 00:02:53.070 --> 00:02:57.550 Whether it's the bad partner, the dead end job, the binge, the blowup, 00:02:57.790 --> 00:03:00.270 none of these things happen randomly. 00:03:01.070 --> 00:03:05.550 The reason it happens is it's the only form of agency 00:03:05.630 --> 00:03:08.110 a formerly 00:03:06.945 --> 00:03:08.545 powerless child 00:03:08.865 --> 00:03:10.065 ever found 00:03:10.545 --> 00:03:17.105 and it gets repeated by an adult body that never got the emotional blueprint software update 00:03:17.185 --> 00:03:18.625 that the threat is over. 00:03:19.520 --> 00:03:22.480 And so your brain and body is naturally 00:03:22.720 --> 00:03:24.240 chemically designed 00:03:24.480 --> 00:03:27.200 to repeat its earliest emotional 00:03:27.280 --> 00:03:28.160 experiences, 00:03:28.640 --> 00:03:29.200 like 00:03:29.520 --> 00:03:30.960 just on autoplay. 00:03:31.525 --> 00:03:35.205 It just runs the program unless you update the program. 00:03:35.685 --> 00:03:36.565 And because 00:03:36.645 --> 00:03:40.725 none of us have been taught this, we're all, if you're self sabotaging, 00:03:40.725 --> 00:03:44.110 you're just running that original emotional blueprint program. 00:03:44.270 --> 00:03:48.670 And so your brain and body are stuck in what I call the worst day cycle, 00:03:48.910 --> 00:03:52.590 which is a pattern of four things. First, the emotional trauma, 00:03:52.750 --> 00:03:55.550 then fear, then shame, then denial. 00:03:55.950 --> 00:03:57.550 Now the trauma got installed, 00:03:58.735 --> 00:03:59.535 installed 00:03:59.535 --> 00:04:01.855 the alarm system of, 00:04:02.495 --> 00:04:03.615 I can't 00:04:03.695 --> 00:04:05.215 make my own decisions. 00:04:05.455 --> 00:04:07.455 I can't stand up for myself. 00:04:08.015 --> 00:04:11.455 Well, that installed the fear of being hypervigilant 00:04:11.900 --> 00:04:14.220 and giving yourself away 00:04:14.380 --> 00:04:16.220 and becoming powerless. 00:04:16.540 --> 00:04:18.140 Well, that powerlessness 00:04:18.220 --> 00:04:23.340 creates the shame that tells you that you're defective for feeling this way. 00:04:24.045 --> 00:04:29.405 And then the denial whispers, it was just bad luck and you'll do better next time. 00:04:30.045 --> 00:04:31.005 And that it's 00:04:31.805 --> 00:04:34.845 not actually my past that's running my present. 00:04:35.165 --> 00:04:37.885 And this is where the second mechanism kicks in. 00:04:39.250 --> 00:04:45.490 This is a tough one for people to hear, but nobody on this planet has ever been afraid to fail. 00:04:46.450 --> 00:04:47.490 Think of it. 00:04:48.530 --> 00:04:55.395 And I want to say it again, because it's hard for people to grasp, but it's a lie and a delusion that people are afraid of failure. 00:04:55.795 --> 00:04:59.315 And the proof of that is in the mirror every time 00:04:59.715 --> 00:05:02.275 you choose not to do the thing 00:05:02.515 --> 00:05:04.675 you know you need and want to do. 00:05:05.810 --> 00:05:12.690 And when you don't do it, whether it's placing the phone calls, showing up to work on time, going to the gym, whatever, 00:05:13.570 --> 00:05:16.770 you know you want to do it, but you choose not to. 00:05:17.745 --> 00:05:19.905 Do you see in those moments, 00:05:20.385 --> 00:05:21.985 you're choosing failure. 00:05:22.785 --> 00:05:24.305 You're not afraid of it. 00:05:24.785 --> 00:05:27.025 You're perfectly comfortable with it. 00:05:27.665 --> 00:05:28.865 So because 00:05:29.025 --> 00:05:30.225 we choose failure, 00:05:30.680 --> 00:05:33.640 do you see what we're actually all afraid of? 00:05:34.520 --> 00:05:35.240 Success. 00:05:35.720 --> 00:05:39.000 Because if I do it, I'll get what I want, I'll achieve it. 00:05:39.560 --> 00:05:44.440 But because the brain and body can't tell the difference between fear and excitement, 00:05:45.085 --> 00:05:47.965 like there is no chemical signature difference. 00:05:48.125 --> 00:05:56.205 That's why a lot of people look at athletes or politicians or successful people and they get to the top and they blow their lives up, they get the excitement, 00:05:56.685 --> 00:05:57.805 but it triggers 00:05:58.240 --> 00:06:00.320 the exact same chemical 00:06:00.320 --> 00:06:01.280 signature 00:06:01.280 --> 00:06:03.200 of childhood, it's identical. 00:06:03.760 --> 00:06:06.880 And so when success gets close enough to touch, 00:06:07.040 --> 00:06:11.200 your nervous system just reads that surge as deep danger, 00:06:11.745 --> 00:06:15.265 and it pulls the emergency brake. It just pulls 00:06:15.745 --> 00:06:19.025 the worst day cycle in the original emotional blueprint 00:06:19.025 --> 00:06:25.345 that you learned, you can't have your needs and wants, you can't speak your truth, you can't live your life, you're powerless, 00:06:25.730 --> 00:06:27.810 And it runs that blueprint. 00:06:28.370 --> 00:06:31.170 And so people like Besser Vandelkoch and 00:06:32.130 --> 00:06:34.450 the repetition compulsion research, 00:06:34.690 --> 00:06:37.650 you know, they've been pointing at this for forty years, 00:06:38.555 --> 00:06:41.995 but they didn't quite, they didn't complete the process of how 00:06:42.955 --> 00:06:48.395 repetition compulsion works. And that's what my worst day cycle does, is it takes it to the next 00:06:48.715 --> 00:06:51.675 layer of what's going on and why you're stuck in this. 00:06:52.480 --> 00:06:53.760 But unfortunately, 00:06:54.560 --> 00:06:58.480 the culture has turned that into a slogan instead of a doorway 00:06:58.480 --> 00:06:59.360 out of it. 00:06:59.840 --> 00:07:01.760 Now, here's the part that 00:07:02.080 --> 00:07:03.840 many people just won't tell you. 00:07:04.320 --> 00:07:05.520 Self sabotage 00:07:05.520 --> 00:07:06.560 is the collision 00:07:07.075 --> 00:07:14.835 between your authentic self and your shame based survival persona that you developed in those original traumatic moments. 00:07:15.155 --> 00:07:17.715 And the survival persona panics 00:07:17.955 --> 00:07:20.670 for two reasons. And this is why 00:07:21.150 --> 00:07:23.070 overcoming your self sabotage, 00:07:23.070 --> 00:07:24.830 even as I'm telling you this, 00:07:25.150 --> 00:07:25.790 and 00:07:26.190 --> 00:07:29.950 you start to get the intellectual truth, there's a deeper 00:07:30.030 --> 00:07:30.830 emotional 00:07:31.405 --> 00:07:34.285 process going on that makes 00:07:34.365 --> 00:07:36.525 overcoming your self sabotage 00:07:36.605 --> 00:07:38.525 very difficult for most people. 00:07:39.005 --> 00:07:43.085 The first reason is if you actually chose 00:07:43.485 --> 00:07:46.845 to pursue success and live in your authentic self, 00:07:47.780 --> 00:07:49.380 do you see what happens? 00:07:50.340 --> 00:07:55.860 That survival persona you developed as a child to get whatever connection you could with your parents, 00:07:56.980 --> 00:07:58.260 it has nothing. 00:07:58.900 --> 00:08:04.325 It loses the connection to mom and dad. It's gone. That's the way it feels 00:08:05.765 --> 00:08:08.485 is that if I go do this, wait a minute, 00:08:08.965 --> 00:08:14.965 I use this so I could fit into the family system. If it's gone, then I'm not in the family system anymore. 00:08:15.285 --> 00:08:20.600 Well, that's just half of it. The second piece is if you actually succeed, 00:08:22.680 --> 00:08:24.840 do you see what that also means? 00:08:25.240 --> 00:08:28.680 It means the survival persona that you developed 00:08:29.080 --> 00:08:30.120 was wrong 00:08:30.505 --> 00:08:31.545 all along. 00:08:32.345 --> 00:08:36.905 And who on earth, whether they're 20, 40, 60, 80, 00:08:37.305 --> 00:08:43.865 no matter how long they've been on this planet, they lived their entire life as this survival persona. 00:08:44.185 --> 00:08:45.705 And who wants to let that go? 00:08:46.560 --> 00:08:51.520 And they've never, and they don't want to admit, Oh my God, never once have I lived as myself. 00:08:52.400 --> 00:08:53.040 Well, 00:08:53.440 --> 00:09:07.905 that original trauma felt bad and how you couldn't, how you felt so powerless. Well, who wants to admit that? That admission feels like you're dying or that you're a fraud or a failure or dumb or stupid. It's just a huge shame hit. 00:09:08.705 --> 00:09:13.905 And so that survival persona does its job. It pushes down those feelings. 00:09:14.540 --> 00:09:15.900 It buries 00:09:16.220 --> 00:09:17.180 success 00:09:17.260 --> 00:09:24.620 to keep you alive in the only identity it's ever known, which is to self sabotage and run the worst day cycle. 00:09:25.340 --> 00:09:27.740 So the goal for you is you have to see this, 00:09:28.505 --> 00:09:32.585 because now that you see this truth, you can't unsee it. 00:09:33.065 --> 00:09:36.665 And so one of my clients is a perfect example of this process. 00:09:36.985 --> 00:09:41.305 She started doing better. She started creating real connection with her husband, 00:09:42.410 --> 00:09:44.330 real work success, 00:09:44.410 --> 00:09:46.010 real peace in her body. 00:09:46.410 --> 00:09:48.090 And then like cockwork, 00:09:48.330 --> 00:09:49.850 she just destroyed it. 00:09:50.730 --> 00:09:53.930 Now she didn't do it on purpose, and you're not doing this on purpose. 00:09:54.330 --> 00:09:55.850 It's how the brain and body works. 00:09:57.015 --> 00:10:06.535 But because of how the brain and body works in these two deeper underlying processes of, wait a minute, if I claim my authentic self, claim my success, 00:10:07.335 --> 00:10:09.255 that means I lose touch, 00:10:10.220 --> 00:10:15.980 I let go of the survival persona, which I used to get connection with my family, that's gone, but it also means 00:10:16.300 --> 00:10:18.380 I've never lived it myself. 00:10:19.180 --> 00:10:19.820 Well, 00:10:20.140 --> 00:10:21.820 that just feels too real. 00:10:22.700 --> 00:10:23.340 So 00:10:23.845 --> 00:10:26.005 she'd have to grieve all of that, 00:10:26.485 --> 00:10:31.365 and she just didn't have it. Well, that's not weakness on her part, 00:10:31.525 --> 00:10:33.045 that's actually loyalty 00:10:33.205 --> 00:10:34.405 to the child 00:10:34.645 --> 00:10:38.725 who was brilliant and built that survival persona to keep her safe. 00:10:39.980 --> 00:10:48.300 Now this takes time and this takes a lot of emotional work to overcome. We have to remap and rewire that emotional blueprint. 00:10:48.620 --> 00:10:51.820 And we do that with two of my processes. The first one is 00:10:52.285 --> 00:10:52.925 the 00:10:53.645 --> 00:10:57.325 antidote to the worst day cycle. It's what I call my authentic self cycle. 00:10:57.885 --> 00:11:00.445 And this consists of truth, responsibility, 00:11:00.445 --> 00:11:01.885 healing, and forgiveness. 00:11:02.445 --> 00:11:05.645 When we get into truth, we realize I'm not to blame. 00:11:07.030 --> 00:11:07.670 And 00:11:08.230 --> 00:11:11.110 I'm also the architect of my own self sabotage. 00:11:11.110 --> 00:11:16.470 So I'm not to blame that my brain and body were too underdeveloped, 00:11:16.950 --> 00:11:24.275 and it developed this emotional chemical addiction to run this self sabotage pattern to fit into the family system. That's not my fault. 00:11:25.235 --> 00:11:25.795 That 00:11:26.035 --> 00:11:28.035 was a brilliant strategy that worked. 00:11:28.355 --> 00:11:29.235 Unfortunately, 00:11:29.235 --> 00:11:35.840 I'm still running that program. And so therefore I am now an adult and I am the architect of my self sabotage. 00:11:36.080 --> 00:11:38.000 They're no longer doing it to me, 00:11:38.640 --> 00:11:45.120 but because society never told me this is what happens, I'm still running that program. And so we have to get into truth and 00:11:45.565 --> 00:11:48.205 move into step two, take responsibility. 00:11:48.445 --> 00:11:51.485 This is where now that we're an adult, we choose 00:11:51.885 --> 00:11:54.125 to stop running that pattern 00:11:54.285 --> 00:11:56.605 that the child in us once needed. 00:11:57.085 --> 00:11:58.765 And we take responsibility 00:11:58.765 --> 00:12:02.120 by doing the healing work, which is grieving 00:12:02.280 --> 00:12:04.760 the decades that this has cost us. 00:12:05.080 --> 00:12:15.480 And the original wound of powerlessness that we felt in childhood, we have to remap and rewire that original emotional wound that created the survival persona. 00:12:16.045 --> 00:12:28.205 And once we do that, that moves us into forgiveness, where we can release that brilliant little child inside of us who picked pain because pain was the only place that power lived. 00:12:29.260 --> 00:12:31.820 And we can learn to forgive our parents 00:12:31.980 --> 00:12:34.940 because no one's ever taught this. Are 00:12:36.620 --> 00:12:43.875 parents who choose to hurt their children actively, but that's rare. Most are doing it just because they're uneducated. 00:12:43.875 --> 00:12:47.315 We don't teach about these things. So it wasn't their intent. 00:12:47.875 --> 00:12:48.515 It was, 00:12:49.795 --> 00:12:54.355 I just got a picture of Bob Ross, you know, if you know the painter Bob Ross, 00:12:54.595 --> 00:12:56.755 you know, you talk about happy little accidents. 00:12:57.260 --> 00:12:59.900 That's a lot of what parenting is. A lot of 00:13:00.780 --> 00:13:02.300 happy little accidents, 00:13:02.700 --> 00:13:05.020 but they sure didn't feel happy to that child. 00:13:05.740 --> 00:13:07.740 So the goal for you 00:13:08.060 --> 00:13:09.980 to do this healing process 00:13:10.205 --> 00:13:17.005 is to then run my emotional authenticity method. And the first step of that is to down regulate yourself 00:13:17.325 --> 00:13:18.205 somatically. 00:13:18.685 --> 00:13:19.645 We have to 00:13:22.150 --> 00:13:25.190 start changing the emotional chemical addiction 00:13:25.670 --> 00:13:26.390 and 00:13:26.550 --> 00:13:29.350 get into the space between cognition 00:13:29.750 --> 00:13:31.030 and emotion, 00:13:31.190 --> 00:13:32.870 what's called metacognition. 00:13:32.870 --> 00:13:34.950 And we do that by spending 00:13:35.155 --> 00:13:36.915 fifteen to thirty seconds, 00:13:37.075 --> 00:13:42.355 just focusing on what you can hear in your, you know, whatever's in the surrounding area, 00:13:42.755 --> 00:13:46.995 because our brain literally can't think and listen at the same time, 00:13:47.560 --> 00:13:48.280 all right? 00:13:48.680 --> 00:13:52.920 And that's the gate that we need to open that starts to interrupt 00:13:52.920 --> 00:13:54.840 this worst day cycle loop. 00:13:55.400 --> 00:13:58.440 From there, we can now get into thinking 00:13:58.760 --> 00:13:59.640 and feeling, 00:14:00.035 --> 00:14:01.715 and we can ask ourselves, 00:14:01.795 --> 00:14:07.395 what exactly am I feeling right now? And we do this with real granularity and specificity, 00:14:07.395 --> 00:14:09.475 not just that I feel bad or anxious, 00:14:09.715 --> 00:14:14.035 but get specific. What is the deeper root feeling you're experiencing? 00:14:15.030 --> 00:14:21.270 Once you can name that, you move to step three and ask yourself, where in my body do I feel it? Because we store emotional 00:14:21.430 --> 00:14:24.150 pain and emotional moments in our body. 00:14:24.470 --> 00:14:26.470 The body holds the memory 00:14:27.095 --> 00:14:30.855 of the original wound, not our brain, but the body. 00:14:31.335 --> 00:14:34.295 And so now we're reconnecting to our original 00:14:34.775 --> 00:14:35.895 selves 00:14:36.215 --> 00:14:38.775 and grounding ourselves somatically. 00:14:38.775 --> 00:14:44.870 And then we can move into step four, which is what's my earliest memory of having this emotional thought, 00:14:45.270 --> 00:14:48.470 which comes from the feeling in my body. 00:14:48.950 --> 00:14:50.390 And you're going to see 00:14:50.950 --> 00:14:58.775 this feeling is much older than this video. You're not, when you self sabotage, you're not feeling something in the moment, 00:14:59.175 --> 00:15:02.295 you're replaying the original wound from childhood. 00:15:02.935 --> 00:15:06.295 And that's where your survival persona and emotional blueprint 00:15:06.695 --> 00:15:11.560 was built. And that's what we have to get to so we can remap and rewire it. 00:15:11.960 --> 00:15:13.560 And we start that process 00:15:13.720 --> 00:15:14.920 with step five. 00:15:15.400 --> 00:15:24.735 And we ask, who would I be if I never had this emotional thought or emotional feeling in my body ever again? What if it weren't even possible 00:15:24.895 --> 00:15:30.335 on this face of this earth to ever think or feel this again, it was completely 00:15:30.575 --> 00:15:34.575 wiped off the face of the earth and wasn't possible, what would be left over? 00:15:35.450 --> 00:15:39.850 Well, do you see when you're free of that guilt, that shame, that fear, that powerlessness, 00:15:39.850 --> 00:15:40.890 what's left is 00:15:41.770 --> 00:15:42.410 light 00:15:43.690 --> 00:15:44.490 and 00:15:45.290 --> 00:15:46.730 confidence and safety 00:15:47.225 --> 00:15:47.945 and 00:15:48.105 --> 00:15:49.225 empowered, 00:15:49.305 --> 00:15:50.505 not powerless. 00:15:51.065 --> 00:15:55.305 And you know exactly what you would think, feel, do and believe about, 00:15:55.465 --> 00:16:05.930 you know, all of these different situations. It just comes naturally, you can see it and there's no fear of it. There's nothing cluttering the way. It just seems easy and self evident. 00:16:06.330 --> 00:16:09.770 Well, that's when you move into step six of the emotional authenticity 00:16:09.770 --> 00:16:10.490 method, 00:16:10.650 --> 00:16:11.690 feelization. 00:16:11.850 --> 00:16:13.770 This is where you sit 00:16:14.330 --> 00:16:18.195 in this new awareness because what you just discovered 00:16:18.275 --> 00:16:23.395 in step five is your authentic self. This is who you were before 00:16:23.635 --> 00:16:25.875 their pain got placed into you. 00:16:26.515 --> 00:16:27.555 And so 00:16:27.555 --> 00:16:32.520 what that lets you know is you never lose touch with your authentic self. All you have to do is run this process 00:16:32.760 --> 00:16:48.315 and with whatever feeling you experience in your life, and you can always reclaim your authentic self. And from there, you know, like I said, you know exactly what you would think, feel, say, believe, do. So you feel that and pull up the situation and go, well, from this place, 00:16:49.115 --> 00:17:04.290 I would do this. I would say this. I would think this. I would feel this. And you, this is where we're remapping and rewiring that original emotional blueprint. So when you self sabotage, you're playing the worst day cycle, the original emotional wounding moment, 00:17:04.530 --> 00:17:21.255 and projecting it into this moment, you're stuck in the worst day cycle of trauma, fear, shame, and denial. You run the six step process. Now from here, I'd go, oh, I wouldn't do any of that. That doesn't even feel right. Doesn't make sense to me. From here, I would just think, feel, say, believe, do this. 00:17:21.575 --> 00:17:28.455 And you sit in that feeling as much as possible throughout the day. Like I tell my clients, run this six step process once an hour. 00:17:29.130 --> 00:17:33.210 You'll see if you do that for one day, your life is going to change immediately. 00:17:33.930 --> 00:17:36.490 You're going to be in a completely different place. 00:17:37.130 --> 00:17:38.810 And I know that's scary, 00:17:39.130 --> 00:17:41.370 because do you remember what I said earlier? 00:17:42.575 --> 00:17:46.735 Fear and excitement have the exact same emotional chemical 00:17:46.975 --> 00:17:48.655 response in our brain and body. 00:17:49.295 --> 00:17:50.895 But now you know that, 00:17:51.295 --> 00:17:52.735 and if you run that 00:17:53.375 --> 00:17:54.255 process, 00:17:54.335 --> 00:17:56.335 you'll be able to bypass 00:17:56.710 --> 00:17:57.990 that confusion, 00:17:58.230 --> 00:18:02.630 all right? But by using the emotional authenticity method, 00:18:03.350 --> 00:18:04.870 you're creating a new 00:18:05.270 --> 00:18:07.270 emotional chemical addiction 00:18:07.350 --> 00:18:09.110 to replace the old one. 00:18:10.085 --> 00:18:17.765 And from this place, you can look at how you would respond to pursuing the thing you've always wanted to accomplish from this feeling. 00:18:18.165 --> 00:18:20.725 That's the emotional blueprint rewire. 00:18:21.125 --> 00:18:22.005 And so 00:18:22.300 --> 00:18:27.660 you start going through your life, your file cabinet of all the ways you've self sabotaged. 00:18:28.220 --> 00:18:30.860 And you just take one action 00:18:31.260 --> 00:18:32.140 towards 00:18:32.300 --> 00:18:33.340 the thing 00:18:33.580 --> 00:18:39.765 that the survival persona is trying to talk you out of. And the instant you take that step, 00:18:40.085 --> 00:18:41.445 the heaviness lifts, 00:18:41.605 --> 00:18:43.205 the excitement walks in, 00:18:43.445 --> 00:18:50.885 because that was never your gut. That was your wound. Like, to be honest with you, I had to do that today to shoot this video. 00:18:51.680 --> 00:18:56.880 My feeling was I do not want to do this at all. 00:18:57.120 --> 00:18:59.680 The last thing I want to do, and I realized 00:19:00.320 --> 00:19:01.680 I'm just running. 00:19:02.240 --> 00:19:03.280 I'm feeling 00:19:03.360 --> 00:19:05.840 powerless this morning, just woke up that way. 00:19:06.575 --> 00:19:08.415 And so when I get that way, 00:19:08.975 --> 00:19:10.575 I just want to shut down. 00:19:11.215 --> 00:19:12.495 And I realized 00:19:12.575 --> 00:19:17.295 what was happening, and I know from this process, all I had to do 00:19:17.775 --> 00:19:19.615 was take one step 00:19:20.080 --> 00:19:22.320 towards my authentic self. 00:19:22.560 --> 00:19:25.840 And that step was getting up and turning 00:19:26.720 --> 00:19:28.400 towards taking a shower. 00:19:28.560 --> 00:19:29.440 That's it. 00:19:31.040 --> 00:19:38.965 The old emotional blueprint feeling started to drop. The authentic self feeling started to come up. All of a sudden, the weight and 00:19:41.285 --> 00:19:46.405 negativity and lack of desire to shoot the video, everything started to switch because I 00:19:46.900 --> 00:19:53.300 reconnected to my authentic self and realized, you know what? I'm going to feel so much better once I get this done. 00:19:54.260 --> 00:19:57.140 I'm not going to replay that shame loop 00:19:57.140 --> 00:19:59.140 that happens when I sabotage myself. 00:19:59.865 --> 00:20:02.505 And so that's how you replace the wound, 00:20:02.585 --> 00:20:03.225 right? 00:20:03.465 --> 00:20:04.665 And so this 00:20:04.825 --> 00:20:05.625 explains, 00:20:05.625 --> 00:20:07.545 this process explains why 00:20:07.625 --> 00:20:22.370 the limiting belief framework or every inner critic worksheet or every mindset reset has fallen apart on you. They were trying to argue with that survival persona shame voice. Well, you can't argue with a child out of a wound 00:20:22.850 --> 00:20:24.930 that's still stuck in their wound. 00:20:25.330 --> 00:20:32.435 Instead, you have to learn how to feel it, trace it, and then remap and rewire it. Now, 00:20:33.075 --> 00:20:36.675 before I go, I just want to say, you know, when I bring this stuff up, 00:20:37.715 --> 00:20:38.915 it's tough for people. 00:20:39.795 --> 00:20:40.995 They feel like 00:20:41.715 --> 00:20:46.040 I'm blaming them or I'm blaming their parents, and that's just not the truth. 00:20:46.360 --> 00:20:48.840 Neither one of you are to blame. You're both 00:20:49.400 --> 00:20:52.600 doing the best you could with what you knew at the time, 00:20:53.000 --> 00:20:54.680 and neither of you are broken. 00:20:55.240 --> 00:20:57.400 This is just information 00:20:57.400 --> 00:20:58.440 we weren't given. 00:20:59.705 --> 00:21:02.185 But now that you have this new information, 00:21:02.345 --> 00:21:03.465 you have a choice. 00:21:03.785 --> 00:21:08.345 For the first time, have a choice. You can choose to run the old blueprint and stay powerless, 00:21:08.425 --> 00:21:12.505 or you can choose to run this new process to create a new blueprint. It's up to you. 00:21:15.500 --> 00:21:16.620 What do you want? 00:21:17.180 --> 00:21:24.140 You get to stay, but you've never had that choice before. As a child or going through school, no one ever taught you this process. 00:21:24.300 --> 00:21:27.740 And so I want you to literally think about it. You're a newborn today. 00:21:28.445 --> 00:21:34.845 You didn't know any of this, therefore that's why you're not to blame. Blame requires a conscious choice to do something 00:21:35.565 --> 00:21:36.205 that 00:21:37.165 --> 00:21:39.005 you know is wrong. 00:21:39.325 --> 00:21:48.950 Well, you didn't know this is the way, you didn't know this is how the brain and body works, this is how self sabotage works, and this is the process to get out of it, so you're not to blame, 00:21:49.350 --> 00:21:49.670 okay? 00:21:50.318 --> 00:21:51.678 So just remember, 00:21:51.838 --> 00:21:55.198 you were just programmed, but programs can be rewritten. 00:21:55.198 --> 00:21:58.718 So I hope this helped you, and I'll see you in the next video.