WEBVTT

00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:16.095
Is it a skill problem or a psychology problem? Quick. On the surface, most of you would buy this theory. She doesn't have working capital, but it's psychology. See, you all think this is a business issue. There is no such thing as a business issue. It's always a personal issue. The choke hold on the growth of this business is what?

00:00:16.255 --> 00:00:20.655
The psychology and skills of the leader. Fear is the basis of all your lack of progress.

00:00:20.815 --> 00:00:22.495
The real truth is she's scared,

00:00:22.735 --> 00:00:28.335
and that's what's getting in the way of everything. What are you scared of? What's the truth? I'm by myself.

00:00:28.895 --> 00:00:30.910
What if I can't do it?

00:00:37.310 --> 00:00:39.950
What's your name? Where are you from? I'm Pixi.

00:00:40.270 --> 00:00:47.365
Pixi. What a cool name. Thanks. Pixi, where are you from? Charleston, South Carolina. From South Carolina, ladies and gentlemen.

00:00:49.365 --> 00:00:52.005
Tell us, Pixie, what business you in? How's business?

00:00:52.405 --> 00:00:54.005
I'm in business development,

00:00:54.325 --> 00:00:54.725
currently

00:00:57.080 --> 00:00:58.360
focusing on

00:00:58.520 --> 00:00:59.800
distilleries.

00:01:00.040 --> 00:01:03.400
Okay. And how's business? Business is good.

00:01:03.960 --> 00:01:04.680
Mhmm.

00:01:06.840 --> 00:01:08.920
Yeah. How many got that?

00:01:10.265 --> 00:01:15.305
She said over the affirmation business is good. That means it's not in trouble. It's doing pretty good.

00:01:15.625 --> 00:01:17.065
Right? Pretty good.

00:01:17.865 --> 00:01:21.705
And what's the choke hold on the growth to the next level? Working capital.

00:01:21.945 --> 00:01:22.745
Really?

00:01:23.225 --> 00:01:26.790
So tell me about that. Explain that to me. To

00:01:27.590 --> 00:01:34.230
open the markets that I'm in. Oh, by the way, just to help you, whenever somebody has a limiting belief from now on,

00:01:34.710 --> 00:01:45.065
if we hear it, we'll be totally respectful. Because it's not about making somebody wrong. Because how many of us have limiting beliefs we're not even aware of? How many of you can think of something you used to believe ten years ago that you would have fought to defend,

00:01:45.385 --> 00:01:54.425
that today you think it's pretty absurd you even believe that shit? Say, aye. Aye. So there's zero judgment. Are you you following me on this? If you do this with judgment, it doesn't work. I've had challenges

00:01:55.280 --> 00:01:57.920
bringing in capital. I get offers.

00:01:58.240 --> 00:02:12.435
They're just not offers that I'm happy with. I see. So it's not working capital is a problem. It's having working capital at the price points or valuations you want. That recognizes my value. And why are people not recognizing your value that you see?

00:02:13.635 --> 00:02:16.115
Lots of people tell me different reasons.

00:02:16.435 --> 00:02:19.475
They tell you different reasons. What's the real reason? What

00:02:20.355 --> 00:02:21.715
are the reasons they tell you?

00:02:22.595 --> 00:02:24.035
I think my business,

00:02:24.850 --> 00:02:26.930
I'm making it more complicated

00:02:27.730 --> 00:02:29.890
than it they can understand.

00:02:30.370 --> 00:02:35.650
More competent than they can understand or more complicated than allows a business to be able to grow exponentially and scale?

00:02:40.815 --> 00:02:43.295
My background in financial services

00:02:43.375 --> 00:02:49.215
made me give so many other risks and try to make sure that people were absolutely

00:02:50.735 --> 00:02:56.180
prepared that they could lose their money, that I think I'm continue to do the same thing.

00:02:56.660 --> 00:03:03.380
Which is So I can almost talk them out of investing in me because I care for their risk,

00:03:03.540 --> 00:03:05.780
even though I don't think I'm very

00:03:06.100 --> 00:03:06.420
risky.

00:03:07.845 --> 00:03:16.325
So is it a working capital problem? Yes or no? No. Yes or no? No. Is it a skill problem or a psychology problem? Quick. Psychology.

00:03:16.325 --> 00:03:17.845
How many see this immediately?

00:03:18.245 --> 00:03:23.045
But on the surface, most of you would buy this theory. She doesn't have working capital because many of you would say, me too.

00:03:23.710 --> 00:03:24.510
But

00:03:24.510 --> 00:03:29.150
your reasoning, it may be different than hers, but it's the same reason. It's psychology.

00:03:29.950 --> 00:03:33.150
Her psychology is, I need to protect them at all costs,

00:03:33.390 --> 00:03:43.765
but right now, she feels like she talks them out of it. There's truth in that. But she also gave us some insight that's even more true. She's making the business too complex. It is not a business if it is not duplicatable.

00:03:43.765 --> 00:03:44.885
It's a fucking job.

00:03:45.125 --> 00:03:45.925
A

00:03:46.005 --> 00:03:47.525
job with a lot of risk.

00:03:48.325 --> 00:03:50.885
Some of you do not have a business. You're self employed.

00:03:51.350 --> 00:04:15.265
By the way, I'm not being derogatory. You must know if you're in this room, I fucking die for you. Well, no, I won't do that because I've almost done that recently. Fuck that. But I would give my all for you twenty hours a day no matter how I feel. I'm here to serve you. But to serve you, I gotta tell you the truth. There's nothing wrong with being self employed. If you're self employed, you get to call the shots, you get to decide the time, the energy, the money, all those things. But you are always gonna be an operator and you will always be stressed.

00:04:15.985 --> 00:04:17.105
And you will never have freedom.

00:04:17.960 --> 00:04:23.400
Because you never, even if you want to, have the ability to sell that business because it's too fucking complex,

00:04:23.960 --> 00:04:27.000
or it's too dependent upon you. It is not a business.

00:04:27.400 --> 00:04:33.985
McDonald's, do they make the best burger? Yes or no? No. No. The most successful company of its type in the world.

00:04:34.705 --> 00:04:42.785
Because they built a system that an idiot can join. Anyone can be put in. You can replace the people. The system is solid. A business is a system of adding value.

00:04:43.530 --> 00:04:49.210
If you don't have a system that you can't walk away from, you cannot sell it. If you cannot sell it, it is not a business.

00:04:49.690 --> 00:04:55.610
Now many of you in this room are a psychology of, don't ever wanna sell this. And I understand that. We'll explain this later on.

00:04:56.010 --> 00:05:01.415
But it's a mistake. It's not a mistake that you don't wanna sell it. It's a mistake not to run it as if you were going to.

00:05:01.735 --> 00:05:08.455
Because if you run it as a business that's scalable, you will be more profitable if you keep the business. You'll have more choices and you'll have more freedom.

00:05:09.175 --> 00:05:13.175
So right now, this business is dependent primarily upon whose decision making capabilities?

00:05:13.870 --> 00:05:17.070
So it's not about mine. I'm asking, whose is it?

00:05:18.190 --> 00:05:30.045
Okay. A lot about mine, but but but I'm Everybody saw that. Maybe I just saw that. Your first gut reaction. No, it's not. Yes, Well, it no. Because so we're a family run business. I have nine children.

00:05:30.285 --> 00:05:32.525
Six of them are running the distilleries,

00:05:32.525 --> 00:05:34.365
and they really are all independent

00:05:34.365 --> 00:05:37.805
CEOs. And they do make the decisions. They run the operations.

00:05:38.125 --> 00:05:40.365
I get to come out and do the rain making.

00:05:40.685 --> 00:05:52.330
We do build high visibility brands and negotiations to try to move some of those brands. It took time to build them up to the point where they can be sold. Jean Paul DeJore is a good friend of mine. Good. Mine too. Yeah. That's cool.

00:05:53.050 --> 00:05:53.690
And?

00:05:54.010 --> 00:05:57.210
And so I'm just that's where I'm I'm stuck.

00:05:57.530 --> 00:05:58.655
Well, there

00:05:59.375 --> 00:06:02.575
do you know all the electricity in this room comes from where? Anybody know?

00:06:03.295 --> 00:06:07.215
Hoover Dam. It's not far from here. It was built in nineteen twenties.

00:06:07.455 --> 00:06:12.655
Alright? During the depression, and we're employed people. They built this dam. It's one of the largest dams in the world, hydropower.

00:06:13.130 --> 00:06:14.650
When they were building it,

00:06:14.970 --> 00:06:18.010
six people during the time of building fell in,

00:06:18.570 --> 00:06:20.330
and they're still there. They're stuck.

00:06:21.290 --> 00:06:23.610
If you're not in Hoover Dam, you're not fucking stuck.

00:06:24.410 --> 00:06:26.010
Okay. But your psychology

00:06:26.010 --> 00:06:31.805
your psychology is stuck. How many follow this? Right? And when you think you're stuck, mentally you are.

00:06:32.525 --> 00:06:49.990
There is no stuck. This is pure psychology. This has nothing to do with the business whatsoever. The choke hold on the growth of this business is what? The psychology and skills of the leader. And it's more psychology than skills here. At least 80%. How many follow here? Say, I. I. So help me with what you're stuck with, because I'm unclear.

00:06:50.630 --> 00:06:53.910
I'm

00:06:53.910 --> 00:06:56.630
trying to get my

00:06:56.710 --> 00:06:58.550
valuations

00:06:58.715 --> 00:07:00.395
high enough so that

00:07:01.035 --> 00:07:07.835
right now, I don't have any debt or investors. Built this by myself. K. And I'm doing about Now,

00:07:09.195 --> 00:07:11.995
by the way, I did the same thing for years and was equally proud.

00:07:12.600 --> 00:07:20.520
Sometimes that's fucking stupid. Yes. It is. Because you're not able to scale. You're limited to what you can physically do. That makes you stay an operator.

00:07:21.000 --> 00:07:22.840
So it sounds good,

00:07:23.400 --> 00:07:29.905
but I don't know any truly successful business that doesn't have any investors or any debt. There's only very few.

00:07:30.465 --> 00:07:31.745
So

00:07:31.745 --> 00:07:38.865
it might it feels good to an individual. She's trying to meet her needs. She is not thinking like an owner, she's thinking like an operator.

00:07:39.105 --> 00:07:40.225
That is her problem.

00:07:40.820 --> 00:07:44.020
Raise your hand if you follow it. It's not a capital problem.

00:07:44.260 --> 00:07:51.780
It's not a quality product problem, it doesn't appear to be. Seems like the business is growing if other people are interested in investing in it. It's a psychology problem.

00:07:52.420 --> 00:07:55.460
And that psychology, she's getting in her own way. She's got all kinds of reasons.

00:07:56.145 --> 00:08:06.385
I'm talking people out of it's one reason. I'm not getting enough valuations, another reason. I'm following you, it's another reason. She got every reason except the truth. You're

00:08:06.385 --> 00:08:06.945
the only reason.

00:08:07.680 --> 00:08:10.240
So what is it that's getting in the way in you?

00:08:12.000 --> 00:08:20.480
One thing you've told me is you talk people out of the business. Why you talk them out? You say, because I don't wanna have risk. Well, you believe in your business as much as you say you do, then it wouldn't be much risk.

00:08:21.905 --> 00:08:24.385
So maybe you don't believe in as much as you think you do.

00:08:25.265 --> 00:08:36.225
No, I do. Or is it you think you should have no investors? Because notice she was very proud of that. How many noticed that? Raise your hand. Investors, no debt. She's really proud of that. Well, that can be a good thing, but not if you're trying to grow.

00:08:37.640 --> 00:08:40.600
I was saying that's where I am now. My hallucination

00:08:40.600 --> 00:08:43.640
was that I had to figure out to get the highest valuation

00:08:43.800 --> 00:08:48.280
so that I wouldn't be arguing my value because it's it's a disruptive

00:08:48.440 --> 00:08:48.920
platform,

00:08:49.355 --> 00:08:57.755
and it was hard to explain it to people, so I just said, oh, I'm just gonna do it and show them. Great. So now you've done that. Yes. And now I'm afraid.

00:08:57.995 --> 00:09:08.330
Okay. So now we got to the real piece. Raise your hand if you fall. We're going through this whole conversation to get to the truth. The real truth is she's scared. And that's what's getting in the way of everything. What are you scared of?

00:09:08.890 --> 00:09:10.570
What's

00:09:10.570 --> 00:09:11.290
the truth?

00:09:13.050 --> 00:09:21.275
I'm like, what if I can You're on your side. You don't have to feel bad about this because once you know what it is, you can fix it, honey. What if I can't do it? I'm by myself.

00:09:21.915 --> 00:09:23.915
I know that we've heard that story four times.

00:09:25.035 --> 00:09:31.435
You tell that story all the time. And then you get tears like this, and you feel sad inside, and you connect with yourself

00:09:31.755 --> 00:09:33.035
by telling that you're alone.

00:09:33.700 --> 00:09:43.220
It's the way you feel sorry for yourself. And by the way, I'm not judging you. Please feel me. I'm pouring love into you right now. It may not feel like love in the moment, but it really is, honey. You

00:09:43.380 --> 00:09:45.220
have a habit that is in the way.

00:09:46.255 --> 00:10:03.860
Your habit is I'm on my own, I've been on my own forever, and there's some pride in that, and there's sadness in that. You're not on your own. You have six children, is what you said, are running these Yeah. Six running, but nine kids, five grandkids. And nine kids. That's pretty awesome. So you got six kids, so you're not alone. You don't have a man in your life, it sounds like. Is that true? True. Or a woman?

00:10:04.260 --> 00:10:09.780
Do you want a woman or a man? Man. Okay. Just I don't wanna assume shit in the day and age we're in today, you know?

00:10:10.340 --> 00:10:16.195
Okay? So you want a man, there's not a man in your life. And how much of that affects you on a day to day basis?

00:10:18.275 --> 00:10:19.715
A lot. Yes.

00:10:20.595 --> 00:10:22.835
See, you all think this is a business issue.

00:10:23.395 --> 00:10:27.235
There is no such thing as a business issue. It's always a personal issue.

00:10:28.310 --> 00:10:31.590
It's always something in you that needs to shift to go to the next level.

00:10:32.070 --> 00:10:37.110
Some things like this, you don't see at first, and then they become obvious. Some things are almost never obvious unless you dig.

00:10:37.830 --> 00:10:40.070
Fear is the basis of all your lack of progress.

00:10:40.665 --> 00:10:47.305
And many of you are fearless type of people, so you don't relate to this at all. But you're fearless while you're in your threshold of control.

00:10:48.265 --> 00:10:50.505
If you get beyond your threshold of control,

00:10:50.825 --> 00:11:02.000
you will discover that there's fear in there. Cause it's in all human beings, cause what we all have is a 2,000,000 year old brain. And it's designed to look for what's wrong and fight it or flight from it, run from it, or freeze and hope nobody notices.

00:11:02.400 --> 00:11:12.395
And that's what people do in business and they don't even know that's what's going on. There is no saber tooth tiger that's gonna kill you anymore, so so now we worry about what people think, how much money we have, and this woman is doing quite well.

00:11:12.875 --> 00:11:18.555
Even if there's a struggle to have this many kids all running different distilleries, she's doing pretty freaking well.

00:11:19.035 --> 00:11:20.635
Her life and business is good. Right?

00:11:23.860 --> 00:11:28.260
But she's afraid if I sell this business, what are you really afraid of?

00:11:32.100 --> 00:11:39.105
If I get these investors, what are you really afraid of? I'll lose control. That's right. And you have the illusion that you're in control now.

00:11:43.505 --> 00:11:47.105
By the way, this need to control is why she's alone,

00:11:47.585 --> 00:11:53.780
feeling alone. She isn't really alone, but she's feeling alone. She's valuing this sense of certainty.

00:11:54.340 --> 00:11:56.660
Are you following me on this now? And

00:11:56.660 --> 00:11:57.780
significance.

00:11:58.260 --> 00:12:01.460
Those are the driving forces right now, and they are trapping her.

00:12:02.915 --> 00:12:05.795
Because she's also connecting with herself through her pain.

00:12:06.595 --> 00:12:09.715
Her pain is that I have a man in my life, I gotta do the whole fucking thing myself.

00:12:10.035 --> 00:12:15.875
But she's focused on what she doesn't have instead of what she Has. Does have. You can't build on failure.

00:12:16.490 --> 00:12:26.010
So she's building and she she straps herself to it. She makes herself grow. She's a very fucking strong woman. But she gets tired of being fucking strong, don't you? Yes.

00:12:26.810 --> 00:12:27.930
What's this really about?

00:12:29.285 --> 00:12:31.125
Tell yourself the truth, Pixie.

00:12:32.005 --> 00:12:32.965
Cool name.

00:12:33.445 --> 00:12:34.245
I'm

00:12:34.325 --> 00:12:35.925
I'm really pissed off.

00:12:36.165 --> 00:12:47.910
I'm really pissed off. About what? I have worked my ass off my whole life. I supported a man. I built him to big big big business. I did all the work. I had all the kids. I took nothing.

00:12:48.070 --> 00:12:52.150
I slaved. I wanted nothing. I got no significance, no recognition.

00:12:52.470 --> 00:12:54.150
And then at the top of the game,

00:12:55.350 --> 00:12:58.710
he walked out the door. Yes. And then you took all that you built.

00:13:00.005 --> 00:13:07.525
And now I don't know what to do. I do know what to do. I'm afraid to do it. Give her a hand for that. She knows what to She's afraid to do it. Alright? So

00:13:10.485 --> 00:13:13.205
forget the fear for a moment and tell me, what do you need to do?

00:13:14.730 --> 00:13:17.290
Fuck the fear for a moment. Just put it aside.

00:13:18.010 --> 00:13:33.695
What do you need to do? Because here's the deal, you're living in the story of your past and here's the truth, you did all those things because you chose to do them. I'm not saying he was a good man, I don't know. I've made a good man, terrible man, maybe a lazy ass. I don't know. I'm not here to deal with him because he's not here.

00:13:34.095 --> 00:13:38.095
I'll be happy to deal with him. Send him. I'll fuck him up for you. Well, make things straight. But

00:13:38.335 --> 00:13:51.470
in the meantime, that's not gonna change your life. The only thing gonna change your life are your decisions. And you made the choice to do all those things truthfully because it fulfilled you at some level. Yes. So don't give me this bullshit about how you sacrifice. It's what everybody does in postmortem.

00:13:51.550 --> 00:14:11.595
Yes. But you did at the time because it fulfilled you. Now, you're not fulfilled because it didn't end the way you wanted it to. But you do have the business and you do have your children, which are pretty magnificent, sounds like, because most people's children, you know, they're off doing something else. Your children are all in business with you, most of them. So you have a family business that you love, and it's grown and it's doing well.

00:14:12.760 --> 00:14:27.895
But the story that I built all this and sacrificed and have nothing, I'm stuck because what you really want is you don't wanna have to use your masculine all the time. True? Yes. And you developed the masculine because you had to. Yes. How fucking cool is that? It means you have access to feminine and masculine. But

00:14:28.295 --> 00:14:32.215
you can't be in control and in a relationship with a masculine man.

00:14:33.655 --> 00:14:34.855
That's why you're alone.

00:14:35.495 --> 00:14:39.815
Because it takes opposite energies to have an attraction that's that strong.

00:14:40.380 --> 00:14:44.700
That's not to say she can't have a relationship, but you can't have a dynamic passionate relationship

00:14:44.780 --> 00:14:53.420
because she's the masculine. So who's she gonna bring? A feminine man. And then she'll be, in the beginning, happy because she could control him. That's why you like that guy.

00:14:54.365 --> 00:14:58.845
But then you end up being angry because you can't trust someone who you can control.

00:14:59.485 --> 00:15:01.725
Because that means some other woman could control him.

00:15:02.845 --> 00:15:06.765
So you lost respect for him. You lost polarity with him. True? Yes.

00:15:07.450 --> 00:15:21.370
So then you took over more, used more of your masculine. And by the way, it's wonderful. You can do anything you want. Any woman can use her masculine orphans. Any man can have masculine. Do we both do we all have both? Yes or no? Yes. But, we have a core, and if your core is not respected, even if you succeed, you're unfulfilled.

00:15:21.785 --> 00:15:23.625
Her core is feminine.

00:15:23.945 --> 00:15:25.625
She's just been away from it forever.

00:15:26.105 --> 00:15:29.145
And she thinks she has to be masculine to run her business, which is not true.

00:15:29.625 --> 00:15:38.080
Feminine has more power if it's used properly. If you think masculine has more power, watch A feminine woman walked by with a bunch of masculine men, they can't even fucking control themselves.

00:15:38.880 --> 00:15:42.000
Who's in charge? She's in charge. It isn't even looks,

00:15:42.400 --> 00:15:51.675
it's freedom. A woman that is Gentlemen, how many think a woman who is truly happy messes you up? How many gentlemen here think that's one of the sexiest things in the world? Make some noise, so they just hear you.

00:15:53.515 --> 00:15:57.755
Every man here who's visual, most men are triggered to be visual, it's the way we're wired,

00:15:58.510 --> 00:16:15.925
will respond visually to a certain woman, but every man here knows what it's like to be around a super attractive woman who's just horrible to be with. Who's so full of herself, so whatever. Right? And I know you ladies know what it's like to be around a guy that's like that. Same thing. It's really handsome, but holy shit. Being in relationship with him is hell. All he cares about is himself.

00:16:16.565 --> 00:16:24.885
Right? So we're not looking at that. We're saying she can have what she really wants, but she can't have it as long as she stays in this masculine mode. Who's running the business,

00:16:25.670 --> 00:16:28.790
she can't be that all the time if she wants to be fulfilled.

00:16:29.190 --> 00:16:33.510
And she's angry that she's not fulfilled, and she's worried that she'll never have that fulfillment.

00:16:33.670 --> 00:16:36.070
So the business is clouded

00:16:36.070 --> 00:16:37.830
by what's going on with her personally.

00:16:38.525 --> 00:16:51.965
Raise your hand if you follow this. So is she smart enough to figure this out? Yes or no? Yes. But what she doesn't wanna do is be out of control, because she thinks out of control equals pain when the truth is you aren't in control in the first place. The most you have is influence.

00:16:53.460 --> 00:17:04.100
And you know, if you get great at influence, you'll have the illusion of control. What you really have is influence. You can't even control your kids even though you think you can. They'll still do what the fuck they want even if you condition them long enough. Eventually,

00:17:04.580 --> 00:17:06.980
they'll do what any masculine man will do. They'll break out.

00:17:08.255 --> 00:17:10.495
You can't hold somebody in one place like that.

00:17:11.295 --> 00:17:21.360
So I want you to get, here we're talking about business. This is what's really going on. What's the choke hold? Her psychology. It isn't even a skill. It's just pure psychology.

00:17:22.320 --> 00:17:30.480
Because she wants to be in control. By the way, some of you can't relate to this. You go, oh, I'm not like that. I have a great relationship. But you're equally committed to control, which is why you're a fucking operator.

00:17:31.440 --> 00:17:36.045
That's why you're still stressed. Because the only way you're gonna be able to grow businesses dynamically,

00:17:36.045 --> 00:17:38.045
any business, is not be in control.

00:17:38.765 --> 00:17:43.885
Because once you're in control, you're make all decisions. If somebody makes a mistake, you go crazy and then you start doing it yourself again.

00:17:44.685 --> 00:17:52.170
The only way I was able to grow is to go through the pain of It's like children. They're gonna make their own choices and some aren't gonna be great. And they affect you.

00:17:52.650 --> 00:17:54.490
But that's the only way they're gonna learn.

00:17:54.730 --> 00:17:57.850
You can teach them, you can share with them, but you gotta get through those stages.

00:17:58.170 --> 00:18:02.330
And you gotta be better at picking partners or business associates. In your case, maybe partners as well.

00:18:03.095 --> 00:18:07.815
By the way, who'd she stick with? Everybody she has the sense of control of, her kids.

00:18:10.055 --> 00:18:14.215
But there's no man there. Because no man wants to be controlled. He's masculine. A little feminine guy will.

00:18:14.615 --> 00:18:26.630
And he doesn't have to be gay to be feminine. Some guys have been nurtured to be feminine. They've been taught by their mothers to please everybody. How many of you ladies in the room can't stand a man who's always trying to please you, drives you fucking crazy? Make some noise if it's true.

00:18:28.755 --> 00:18:31.475
Men are confused by this, but if I don't please her, she's pissed.

00:18:33.635 --> 00:18:34.595
What the fuck?

00:18:35.555 --> 00:18:40.435
There's a difference, gentlemen, between pleasing a woman and being a pleaser, isn't there, ladies? Right?

00:18:40.750 --> 00:18:46.110
But she's picked pleasers in the past, and then she ends up presenting them. She's picked people she could control.

00:18:46.430 --> 00:18:47.550
Your

00:18:47.550 --> 00:18:59.975
only way out of this is to give up the illusion of control, because you're not you're not in control of whether you're gonna live or die tomorrow. A truck could come hit you, something could happen to you, something happened to your business. You have very little control. You have influence.

00:19:00.615 --> 00:19:08.215
And you can have influence with these new investors. You can influence with new people if you increase your skills and you shift your psychology from control to influence.

00:19:09.540 --> 00:19:12.580
By the way, that's a little more collaborative, but that's how you grow things.

00:19:13.140 --> 00:19:14.740
I'm a partnership model.

00:19:14.980 --> 00:19:19.460
Yes. I I hear that. But then there's partnership model, then there's reality of what's going inside you.

00:19:20.595 --> 00:19:24.835
Cause the truth is, you'd have some partners right now if you thought you could control them.

00:19:26.195 --> 00:19:30.835
And one of the reasons she wants to cover all their risk, is she doesn't want the risk of someone she can't control.

00:19:32.995 --> 00:19:39.170
And she talks them out because she doesn't really want somebody there she can't control, and she's bringing somebody new in outside the family.

00:19:40.050 --> 00:19:41.490
Raise your hand if you follow this.

00:19:41.890 --> 00:19:42.610
So

00:19:43.410 --> 00:19:45.170
the person running this business

00:19:46.050 --> 00:20:00.845
shouldn't be the person running this business if you wanna grow it. So So what do you wanna do? Do you wanna keep growing the business within the family? Do you wanna sell Why do you wanna sell the business or some part of it? You want additional capital to grow? I wanna be huge. And so I wanna bring huge. I wanna be huge.

00:20:01.540 --> 00:20:02.420
Huge.

00:20:02.500 --> 00:20:03.380
Huge.

00:20:04.820 --> 00:20:07.700
I feel like I'm talking to Donald Trump. What the hell is this? Yes.

00:20:08.580 --> 00:20:11.620
I want to be huge. I want to be huge. Huge.

00:20:11.780 --> 00:20:14.180
Why do you wanna be huge? What need is driving that quick?

00:20:14.825 --> 00:20:19.705
Nothing wrong with that, but it's good to know what it is. She wants certainty and significance together.

00:20:20.265 --> 00:20:21.225
They

00:20:21.385 --> 00:20:22.505
don't go together.

00:20:24.425 --> 00:20:25.625
Only in the mind.

00:20:26.505 --> 00:20:40.890
In reality, to do something huge, you gotta let go of your certainty and take some significant what? Risks. Risks, and they'd all work out. But if your certainty is it doesn't matter, if it doesn't work out, I'll do something else. I'll find another way, then you can have enough certainty to take those risks to do something significant.

00:20:41.435 --> 00:20:42.235
But

00:20:42.235 --> 00:20:46.795
she's trying to keep one foot on first base while she gets to third.

00:20:47.195 --> 00:20:51.435
You can't do that. You gotta let go of first base to get to third, much less make it home and score.

00:20:52.475 --> 00:20:54.155
Mixed metaphor, but you get the

00:20:55.410 --> 00:20:56.930
Mixed metaphor for her.

00:20:57.890 --> 00:20:58.610
Right?

00:20:59.810 --> 00:21:01.330
So the question is,

00:21:01.730 --> 00:21:03.090
what needs to happen here?

00:21:05.970 --> 00:21:13.385
How many of you know what needs to happen here? Raise your hand. If you think you know what needs to happen here, raise your hand. Oh gosh, more of you know than that. You should trust yourself.

00:21:14.425 --> 00:21:15.785
What needs to happen here?

00:21:16.825 --> 00:21:18.185
What do you really want?

00:21:20.265 --> 00:21:22.505
You wanna be huge, so what will happen when you're huge?

00:21:23.060 --> 00:21:25.700
When you're huge, what will happen? I will

00:21:25.940 --> 00:21:33.860
feel validated enough to share my message with the world, which is what I've been trying to do. I see. No, you won't.

00:21:34.580 --> 00:21:37.620
Because the same doubts you have now will happen when you're huge.

00:21:39.795 --> 00:21:49.075
Because you have a habit of thinking that keeps showing up. And that habit is, I'm alone. Then you'll be huge and alone. Aren't you huge now compared to what you used to be?

00:21:49.715 --> 00:21:52.435
Think about where you started. Tell me where you started.

00:21:53.980 --> 00:21:57.820
Yeah. I Yeah. What? I started at like $10,000

00:21:57.820 --> 00:22:02.620
a year in sales. Yes. And what are they now? Over 3,000,000. Give her a hand, ladies and gentlemen. That's amazing.

00:22:06.845 --> 00:22:13.645
And 3,000,000 puts her in the top 5% of all businesses on the face of the earth, plus she's doing it with her family that she loves. But

00:22:13.885 --> 00:22:17.645
it's not enough. Don't get me wrong. I I like doing things huge too.

00:22:20.020 --> 00:22:23.700
But the difference is, I'm doing it because I wanna have a huge impact,

00:22:24.900 --> 00:22:28.420
not because I wanna be huge. I'm already fucking huge. Look at me.

00:22:29.540 --> 00:22:30.260
Right?

00:22:30.500 --> 00:22:32.180
So I didn't need to work on that one, I guess.

00:22:33.635 --> 00:22:36.275
The difference is you're doing it for significance,

00:22:36.275 --> 00:22:43.315
but significance when you get there, it's never enough. How many found, no matter how much you get, you want more? Let me see. Show hands. So

00:22:43.635 --> 00:22:46.035
the reason you want more is because we're meant to grow.

00:22:46.990 --> 00:22:49.630
If you were got satisfied, you'd stop growing.

00:22:50.110 --> 00:22:52.350
And when you grow, you have something more to give.

00:22:52.670 --> 00:23:05.485
And what makes your life meaningful is giving beyond yourself. There's only so much joy you can hold in yourself from food or alcohol or drugs or sex or success or business or growing. There's only so much you can feel by yourself.

00:23:05.725 --> 00:23:10.525
If you wanna trust this, if you wanna know, like people say, you're you know, I'm selfish, you're selfish.

00:23:10.845 --> 00:23:19.820
I've been selfish, you've been selfish, but that's not our nature. I'll prove it to you. When you have a great experience that really lights you up, what's the first thing you wanna do? Share. With who?

00:23:20.060 --> 00:23:21.900
Stuff. People you love. Why?

00:23:22.220 --> 00:23:33.725
Because our nature is to grow and give, because as we grow and give, it makes it bigger for us too. We feel more alive. So if she's being huge, so there's more to give and grow, that's different. But she's doing it to be validated.

00:23:34.205 --> 00:23:38.445
She wants to be significant because she doesn't feel significant because the man left her life.

00:23:38.765 --> 00:23:44.045
She's thinking she can prove to herself and the world that she's significant, and people listen to her. No one's gonna listen to you

00:23:44.620 --> 00:23:46.380
unless you got something worth saying.

00:23:47.340 --> 00:23:52.940
It doesn't matter how huge you are or how small you are or in between you are. You are huge already to compare to most businesses.

00:23:53.900 --> 00:23:57.100
Certainly not compared to Google or Facebook,

00:23:57.100 --> 00:24:02.495
but that's not what this is. And maybe not to Anheuser Busch, but they've been around a little longer than you. So

00:24:06.015 --> 00:24:08.735
I do have a message to share. What is it?

00:24:09.535 --> 00:24:10.815
We're here. Tell us.

00:24:12.340 --> 00:24:14.340
That through love and possibility,

00:24:14.340 --> 00:24:15.860
everything is possible.

00:24:16.260 --> 00:24:20.180
Mhmm. And that partnerships are more important than anything.

00:24:20.500 --> 00:24:22.180
I see, but you're not doing that.

00:24:22.580 --> 00:24:23.780
I always thought I was.

00:24:24.515 --> 00:24:27.635
And my model is a cause marketing model in

00:24:28.115 --> 00:24:33.715
one of the most lucrative industries on the planet. I'm an ordained minister running distilleries,

00:24:33.715 --> 00:24:34.675
and I don't drink.

00:24:38.740 --> 00:24:40.020
That's interesting.

00:24:41.780 --> 00:24:44.500
So now you it gets hard to explain to investors. Why

00:24:45.140 --> 00:24:55.265
come back to your message. So you're not really doing partnerships and that's your message. So no one's listening not because of the size of your business, but because you aren't doing that. And you're not doing that because you wanna be in

00:24:57.025 --> 00:25:00.785
Not in control. But my Not in control? No. No. I no.

00:25:01.505 --> 00:25:14.830
That's Yes. Why I'm not Yes. No. My model is partnership. So every brand that I launch is a partnership model, and we bring in lots of people on a particular brand. Right. So that's all run as like a mini little business. I understand. That's a partnership model.

00:25:15.710 --> 00:25:20.910
So now it's the umbrella that I'm trying to figure out how to leverage the value of that,

00:25:21.935 --> 00:25:23.775
whether it's franchising

00:25:23.775 --> 00:25:29.295
or selling off brands You you can make a decision. Try any of those. What is getting in the way?

00:25:30.095 --> 00:25:31.135
I'm afraid.

00:25:31.295 --> 00:25:32.175
Of what?

00:25:32.495 --> 00:25:33.535
Failing

00:25:33.600 --> 00:25:39.280
or not Let's see she'll have here. Okay. So that's we all have that in common, but we're not all stuck.

00:25:40.960 --> 00:25:41.760
What's the difference?

00:25:50.905 --> 00:25:56.585
Because it isn't just fear of failure. She's afraid she'll fail if she doesn't have control. Raise your hand if you see this.

00:25:57.545 --> 00:26:02.745
And she sees it, but doesn't wanna see it, because she doesn't like the way it sounds. I don't wanna let anyone down.

00:26:03.360 --> 00:26:04.240
I feel you

00:26:04.960 --> 00:26:07.920
don't wanna fail and you don't wanna be let down by anyone as well.

00:26:08.400 --> 00:26:10.880
Because you feel let down by your former partner. Yes.

00:26:11.360 --> 00:26:12.960
Your former husband. Yes.

00:26:13.520 --> 00:26:19.395
But honey, he had different values than you did. That's for sure. I learned that at UPW.

00:26:19.475 --> 00:26:38.330
That's good. Well, now you know, so he had different values than you. It isn't even that he didn't love you, it's he had different values. You have different values. And so your values have been rewarded up until now, but the same level of thinking as I said earlier. That got you where you are is not gonna get you where you wanna go. That's why you're stuck. You're trying to use the same level of thinking. You're trying to let your wounds drive you

00:26:38.890 --> 00:26:46.650
instead of the opportunity drive you. If the opportunity was driving you, you'd join you'd find those partnerships, you'd negotiate those deals, you'd have certain, you'd make it happen, you know how.

00:26:48.625 --> 00:26:52.945
You have to let go of what the fuck happened with this man. It's over. It's been over for a while.

00:26:53.825 --> 00:27:03.130
You gotta stop the story and feeling sorry for yourself about doing this loan. You chose all this shit. You chose him. True? True. And you chose him because you could control him, you thought?

00:27:03.690 --> 00:27:05.850
No. Actually, he was controlling me.

00:27:06.250 --> 00:27:07.770
You say that now,

00:27:08.010 --> 00:27:24.705
but you've done everything truly that you wanted to do. You said you did it for him. Yes. You did it because you wanted love. Yes. You thought if you succeeded enough, he would love you more. Yes. And you succeeded more and he didn't love you more. Yes. Because in order to succeed, you became masculine and he didn't have polarity with you.

00:27:26.305 --> 00:27:27.665
He wanted control.

00:27:28.145 --> 00:27:38.360
He wanted control. So you guys fought over control and that's what your relationship became about, and now he's gone. Because he probably found somebody that he could control or that made him feel like he was in control. You don't.

00:27:39.480 --> 00:27:50.865
Now you're trying to partners in with the same mentality. I don't wanna go any longer in this because I'm only going long enough that everyone get value. How many are getting value for this for you at this stage, and you can see some relationship, even though it may not be about an intimate relationship,

00:27:51.105 --> 00:28:03.510
how many of you overvalue control right now in your business, and it's a choke hold? Let me see, raise your hands. So it's been worthwhile to have this discussion up until now. Don't wanna go much longer, because it's starting to get circular unless you wanna make a shift. Let me help all of you and show you what's missing for her right now.

00:28:03.910 --> 00:28:05.670
If you're gonna have a transformation,

00:28:06.070 --> 00:28:08.790
there's a chemistry I've learned in a transformation.

00:28:09.110 --> 00:28:22.015
There's a few elements. Jot them down right now. Because if you're not there yet, you're missing one of these. So here's what I'm looking for. The first thing that starts to create the chemistry of a real huge breakthrough, of a huge transformation is satiation.

00:28:22.655 --> 00:28:24.015
Satiation means

00:28:24.575 --> 00:28:26.175
that it's not that everything's wrong.

00:28:26.770 --> 00:28:33.250
Right, David? It's that things are going really well, but they've been going well for a while in a similar way.

00:28:33.810 --> 00:28:36.130
And so now, even though it's good,

00:28:36.450 --> 00:28:41.650
you're kind of satiated. It doesn't reward you at the same level. There's still rewards, but not at the same level.

00:28:42.295 --> 00:28:47.975
It's like if your favorite meal was steak and lobster, and you had it every day, three times a day for three months,

00:28:48.455 --> 00:28:52.695
you know, it's still a great meal, but you're gonna get satiated. You're gonna go, fuck.

00:28:53.175 --> 00:29:01.100
This is good shit I'm having. Why am I not enjoying it? Because you're satiated. And the reason you get satiated is life, the universe, God, whichever you prefer,

00:29:01.820 --> 00:29:18.925
is calling you to grow. That's the whole purpose. Business is a spiritual game. I hope you get this. It's designed to make you grow. There is no better game than I know of to make you have to grow because there's immediate feedback. Lots of people say, I'm gonna grow spiritually, and they go to a cave and they meditate and shit. Any

00:29:19.325 --> 00:29:24.205
idiot can make yourself feel good meditating by yourself. Try getting a relationship with humans

00:29:24.690 --> 00:29:37.490
on a consistent level and keep growing and be in a great place. That takes a lot more spiritual development than sitting by your fucking self and praying. Nothing wrong with sitting and praying. I think it's a beautiful thing. I do it too. But in business, you can't fake it out.

00:29:38.235 --> 00:29:46.315
Think about it. What are the things people get pissed off about if you talk about? Bodies and money are two things people get pissed off about because they're fucking measurable.

00:29:46.475 --> 00:29:51.275
If I say I'm spiritual, you go, no, you're not. I go, look, you're not spiritual. You don't even feel how spiritual I am.

00:29:52.100 --> 00:30:03.940
I get to make up what spiritual is in my mind. You can't ever measure it. And if you judge me, you're not being spiritual. So I don't have to grow shit. I just have to tell myself I'm spiritual to feel good, and I don't have to do shit. But inside, I know I'm not growing.

00:30:04.665 --> 00:30:05.705
How many follow?

00:30:06.025 --> 00:30:14.185
Right? So nobody likes talking about things that are measurable. Money is measurable. Business is measurable. Your body's measurable. I can see you're full shitting me if you're massively overweight.

00:30:15.305 --> 00:30:22.000
So she's wanting to do things that aren't quite so measurable where she can stay in control and do things that are measurable and win.

00:30:22.880 --> 00:30:24.160
But satiation

00:30:24.160 --> 00:30:29.440
is the first step. But you know what? Satiation makes you start to look for a new way because you need to grow.

00:30:30.205 --> 00:30:40.045
But most people will not grow with satiation alone, and she is satiated with this. She's satiated doing your business the same way. That's why she wants to change. Tell me if I'm right or wrong. Absolutely.

00:30:40.205 --> 00:30:41.245
So, but

00:30:41.485 --> 00:30:42.950
And so she's interested,

00:30:42.950 --> 00:30:55.750
but she's not executing. Is she capable of executing? Making progress massively? Yes or no? Could she go out next week and make a deal if she was committed to it? Yes or no? And maybe she doesn't get the valuation she wants, but life doesn't give a fuck what you want.

00:30:56.070 --> 00:30:57.430
There's a value in the marketplace.

00:30:58.445 --> 00:31:08.285
And you can make up what you think it is all day long. But she could then have a partner and grow that with them to a much higher valuation and make more than she does by herself and maybe become an owner.

00:31:08.605 --> 00:31:18.290
But she's not doing because all she is is satiated. So if you get satiated long enough, it will lead to the second piece of chemistry I look for to help someone transform, dissatisfaction.

00:31:18.850 --> 00:31:27.515
Now, it's not just that you're doing something that's good and you're not feeling as good about it, you're doing the same shit and it doesn't feel good anymore. Now,

00:31:27.755 --> 00:31:29.355
it actually is a little painful.

00:31:29.915 --> 00:31:32.075
And now you're dissatisfied. This is not enough.

00:31:32.635 --> 00:31:44.440
And now, would the drive be more or less than just satiation? Which one? It would be increased. Now you're gonna have an increase to say, I gotta solve this. Right? Maybe maybe I'll go to Tony Robbins seminar and then blame him.

00:31:45.960 --> 00:31:47.960
You know, because I'm I'm dissatisfied.

00:31:47.960 --> 00:31:53.160
He must be the fucking reason. Right? There's gotta be something not me. I don't wanna deal with me. Let me deal with something else.

00:31:53.975 --> 00:31:57.335
But in business, reason I say it's a spiritual game,

00:31:57.895 --> 00:32:04.615
I love business because I know it's a spiritual game. It's the most exciting game of all. What's the game of business? Do more for others than anyone

00:32:04.855 --> 00:32:11.250
else in your industry. Add more what? Life. Treat your client, love your client like thyself.

00:32:11.250 --> 00:32:12.530
Does that sound similar?

00:32:13.010 --> 00:32:31.525
It's like, what do you do? It's the ability to take what you think about and create it in real life by adding value to other people. To me, I don't think if there's anything more spiritual. And the more spiritually developed you are, the faster you can do that. It doesn't hurt, it's just my hand, it's okay. The faster you can do that, you can do it with such intensity, because your mind and your heart are aligned.

00:32:32.180 --> 00:32:34.180
But when you're not aligned, when you're in this,

00:32:34.420 --> 00:32:35.540
know, satiated,

00:32:35.540 --> 00:32:40.100
dissatisfied, you're kinda looking. You're kinda like dabbling. You're not into mastery.

00:32:40.420 --> 00:32:43.140
She wants mastery, but she's not doing what it takes.

00:32:43.700 --> 00:32:46.605
And if you don't solve it, and you keep being dissatisfied,

00:32:46.605 --> 00:32:51.085
it will lead to a threshold experience. Step three is the threshold, emotional threshold.

00:32:51.245 --> 00:32:52.925
Emotional threshold is,

00:32:53.645 --> 00:32:55.325
have you ever been in a relationship

00:32:55.645 --> 00:32:59.565
way too long? Who's been in a relationship way too long here? Say, I. I.

00:33:00.540 --> 00:33:03.260
You were satiated, you were dissatisfied,

00:33:03.260 --> 00:33:12.460
you kept saying I gotta do something about it, but then you go, oh, it'll get better in the future. It was good in the past. I think this will work out, and you rationalize. Who's done this shit before? Raise your hand and say, I.

00:33:13.115 --> 00:33:17.195
If you don't raise your hand, you lie above the shit too, don't you? Raise your hand and say, I, if you've ever done this. Okay?

00:33:17.675 --> 00:33:35.210
So you get to a point where one day you go, it's been painful in the past, it's been painful in the present, it's been painful in the future. Fuck this, I'm out of here. And you finally make a move. Who's ever done this before in some area of your life? Say I. I. So the emotional threshold is there's now it's more than satiation. It's more than dissatisfaction.

00:33:35.450 --> 00:33:37.690
Now you feel like I gotta do something now.

00:33:39.205 --> 00:33:45.525
Are you there? I am urgently there. Yes. I feel like you're there. But here's what's missing.

00:33:46.085 --> 00:33:51.845
When you get that emotional threshold where change becomes not a should, but an absolute what? Must. Must.

00:33:51.925 --> 00:33:53.925
When that happens, you'll get an insight.

00:33:54.580 --> 00:33:56.820
That's the next step. It's a moment of insight.

00:33:57.620 --> 00:33:59.940
And the insight might be, fuck.

00:34:00.260 --> 00:34:02.420
It's not my ex husband, it's me.

00:34:03.220 --> 00:34:05.220
It's not my clients, it's me.

00:34:05.780 --> 00:34:14.805
It's not my sales people, it's me. It's not a lack of cash flow, it's me. It's not enough capital, it's me. It's something I'm fucking doing.

00:34:15.205 --> 00:34:31.240
And you get the truth. And the truth has the opportunity to set you free. But for the truth to set you free, there's one final piece. When you get the insight, which by the way, have we given her the insight? Has she seen what's true during this discussion? Yes or no? Yes. Yes or no? Yes. She's seen it.

00:34:31.720 --> 00:34:34.200
But when that insight happens, there's an opening.

00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:40.815
And that opening is a little scary because you don't know what's on the other side. But it's an opening. It's a chance for a breakthrough.

00:34:41.135 --> 00:34:45.615
And what must you do while you're in this state? You gotta jump through that opening.

00:34:46.255 --> 00:34:49.535
Even though you're not sure what's on the other side, and that's what she's not doing.

00:34:50.175 --> 00:34:52.975
She's come all the way to the insight. She knows the truth.

00:34:53.670 --> 00:34:59.270
But what's happening now? The opening there, we claim her true identity's there, but she wants to stay in what?

00:34:59.590 --> 00:35:10.855
Control. Control. There's no control to jump through an empty opening if it's not on the other side. She's afraid of what's on the other side. So she stays here, and here's what happens, watch. She just demonstrated it for you if you watched.

00:35:11.255 --> 00:35:14.455
She waited too long, and now the opening is closing.

00:35:15.255 --> 00:35:16.935
And once the opening closes,

00:35:17.575 --> 00:35:23.260
you have to start the whole fucking process all over again, which can take years of dissatisfaction.

00:35:23.260 --> 00:35:25.260
That's it for satiation,

00:35:25.260 --> 00:35:26.300
dissatisfaction.

00:35:26.300 --> 00:35:34.380
Hit another emotional threshold. Get another truth. But if you let fear dominate you, you don't jump through the hole. Now, you know what I used to do with people like her? I used to kick people through the hole.

00:35:35.115 --> 00:35:42.715
I'd just pick them up and throw them through it, whatever it took. And some people around ten years ago or twenty years ago would tell you they saw me do this shit, and it worked.

00:35:43.195 --> 00:35:48.715
But then I'd see them a year or two or three years later, and it worked for six months, nine months, twelve months, because I did it.

00:35:49.480 --> 00:35:57.080
They didn't own it. And so afterwards, they'd come up with some story like, well, you know, Tony didn't he didn't program me properly.

00:35:57.560 --> 00:36:08.195
He didn't condition me enough. It's a conditioning process to go through this. You have to make yourself do it enough times until you won't hesitate anymore. You'll just do it. And some of you are already there in your business. You've done it multiple times.

00:36:08.515 --> 00:36:19.235
So we got to figure out what's the next one for you that's in the way. Because there's always something in way if you're not at the level you want to be. And most people, when you get to the level you want to be, there'll be a new level because we want to grow and want to give. That's what makes life meaningful.

00:36:19.475 --> 00:36:28.480
So the question is there's a big opening here, but she's wanting absolute what, my friends? Certainty. Certainty about what's on the other side before she jumps.

00:36:29.040 --> 00:36:32.000
And that's why she's, what she calls stuck.

00:36:32.080 --> 00:36:33.280
She's not stuck,

00:36:33.695 --> 00:36:36.495
she's actually on a treadmill going in circles.

00:36:37.375 --> 00:36:38.655
Big ass circles.

00:36:38.815 --> 00:36:50.810
And then she's mad because she thinks it should be different because she thinks someone else should help her. If she had found the man who had been her partner and done everything the way she wants and busted ass and they had this incredible business that was huge.

00:36:51.130 --> 00:36:51.930
How

00:36:51.930 --> 00:36:56.650
big is huge, by the way, so I know? Because you're doing 3,000,000, what's huge? A 100,000,000.

00:36:56.650 --> 00:36:59.210
100,000,000. And when you get to a 100,000,000, what will huge be?

00:37:01.305 --> 00:37:02.825
I might be satisfied.

00:37:03.305 --> 00:37:04.665
Yeah. Total bullshit.

00:37:05.305 --> 00:37:12.425
How many of you guess total bullshit? Let me see what she has. Right now, she'd be satisfied, 3,000,000 to a 100,000,000, but then she'll get to a 100,000,000 and she'll get satiated.

00:37:12.665 --> 00:37:13.785
She'll get dissatisfied.

00:37:14.190 --> 00:37:27.470
She'll be looking at Eisenhower Bush or somebody who's doing multi billions and she'll go, we're fucking nothing. And she'll go, no one's listening to me because I'm not big enough. She thinks that she gets big enough, people listen to you. No, they'll listen to you when you fucking own and live what you're talking about. But

00:37:27.550 --> 00:37:29.550
you're not doing it. I'm not being critical, but you're not.

00:37:30.615 --> 00:37:38.535
You can tell me you are because you got these business partnerships when you start something. That is not the message. You said, with partnership and love, anything is possible.

00:37:39.335 --> 00:37:43.895
And that's not what you're doing. You're really saying, with partnership, I can control and love. Anything's possible.

00:37:44.690 --> 00:37:53.250
And control and love don't go together, by the way. Who here wants to be controlled by someone you love? Let's see a show of hands. Okay. Maybe in moments, sir, I understand. Right?

00:37:54.130 --> 00:37:55.730
But not all the fucking time.

00:37:56.530 --> 00:37:57.330
They don't go together.

00:37:58.375 --> 00:38:10.775
Your message is confused because it's not real. So I've taken you all the way to the opening, and I'm not gonna kick you through. That's your job. I'd be happy to. I used to do it all the time. Makes me look good. I don't wanna look good. I want you to have what you deserve.

00:38:11.015 --> 00:38:13.175
You will not get it if I build the muscle in me.

00:38:13.930 --> 00:38:18.250
You have to build the muscle in you. My If I do all the calisthenics here, I get stronger.

00:38:18.570 --> 00:38:33.985
And you get to admire me. I'm not here to be admired. I'm here to have you admire yourself because you've earned it. And you can't earn it because you're pushing yourself through the hard parts. You're too busy telling yourself the story of what didn't happen the way you thought it should. If the man in her life had done all that shit, she wouldn't be as powerful as she is.

00:38:34.625 --> 00:38:40.785
True. True or false? True. If she had the man she thought she wanted back then, she wouldn't be as strong as she is.

00:38:41.690 --> 00:38:42.570
Now,

00:38:42.650 --> 00:38:53.050
if she can get herself back together and find her center, let her feminine flow as well, and trust her feminine, I think she has to be masculine every moment to be successful if she could tap into her real source.

00:38:53.530 --> 00:38:55.290
See, the feminine has to trust.

00:38:55.965 --> 00:39:00.765
I mean, ladies, I have so much respect for you. If you've ever gone on a date, it's insane.

00:39:01.165 --> 00:39:06.045
Because the statistics show the most dangerous thing you can do is be around a male by yourself.

00:39:06.765 --> 00:39:12.410
They're dangerous fuckers to be around. And you guys have the courage to go out with this crazy fucker you don't even know?

00:39:12.970 --> 00:39:14.090
That's

00:39:14.090 --> 00:39:15.130
crazy shit.

00:39:15.850 --> 00:39:17.690
But not her, she's not doing that.

00:39:18.330 --> 00:39:24.255
She's keeping it safe, keeping it close, and telling herself she's courageous because she's doing it on her own.

00:39:24.895 --> 00:39:30.655
She's created a badge of courage for something that isn't something to be a badge for. It was back then, honey.

00:39:31.215 --> 00:39:33.775
But that's an old story now, you've gone beyond it,

00:39:34.175 --> 00:39:40.130
except you keep using it. You're using it for significance. You're using it to explain why you're not where you wanna be.

00:39:40.610 --> 00:39:47.890
And you're using it to make yourself feel sorry for yourself because you work so hard, you don't really connect with yourself very much unless you're in enough pain.

00:39:49.005 --> 00:39:53.405
And so now you're creating pain when you don't need it. How long ago did you divorce this man?

00:39:54.605 --> 00:40:05.600
In our state, you have to be separated for a full year before they approve it. So it's been about nine months since he left. Okay. How long are you gonna mourn this shit before you move on?

00:40:07.120 --> 00:40:08.880
I'm at 86%

00:40:08.880 --> 00:40:09.920
of myself,

00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:16.160
and that took nine months. So I was hoping at UPW I was gonna come out a 100. But I went from 70 to 86.

00:40:16.715 --> 00:40:20.955
Yeah. I'm glad you're so precise about it. So what does it take for the other 14%

00:40:20.955 --> 00:40:22.395
to be connected here?

00:40:22.875 --> 00:40:28.395
Are you a fucking accountant? What the fuck is this? I am a CPA as well. Yeah. Oh, you're a CPA. It sounds like it.

00:40:29.330 --> 00:40:32.930
Okay. Well, understand where some of the control comes from now. So

00:40:33.410 --> 00:40:34.690
if you're 86%,

00:40:34.690 --> 00:40:39.490
what needs to happen for the 14% to happen now? When would now be a good time and what would it take?

00:40:39.810 --> 00:40:41.250
I'll

00:40:41.250 --> 00:40:41.970
tell you honestly?

00:40:42.685 --> 00:40:44.925
No. Lie to me. That's what I love to hear.

00:40:45.245 --> 00:40:45.885
Yes,

00:40:48.125 --> 00:40:48.765
honestly.

00:40:49.085 --> 00:40:52.365
I wanna do something bigger and better on my own

00:40:52.525 --> 00:40:56.525
than what I even dreamed of of doing with wusband.

00:40:57.150 --> 00:40:59.230
So what is that? Tell me what that is.

00:40:59.710 --> 00:41:00.750
But

00:41:01.630 --> 00:41:08.030
do you understand why she's not making progress? One part of her wants to do it bigger and better on my own. The other part's pissed. I'm doing it by myself.

00:41:09.550 --> 00:41:11.390
So she's being pulled in multiple directions.

00:41:12.075 --> 00:41:14.555
So she's not able to marshal all her resources.

00:41:15.355 --> 00:41:25.275
Because she's not sure who should be in charge of this business. Now the woman I just spoke to a moment ago, I think that woman could actually run the business. Did you notice the one I was talking to a moment ago here? The woman who was lit up like a Christmas tree?

00:41:26.510 --> 00:41:36.190
But are you doing that so you can prove to him you didn't need his ass? Or are you doing it what are you doing that for? I just think that would get me to a 100%. I don't think that would be about him.

00:41:36.590 --> 00:41:37.870
I think that would be about me.

00:41:39.555 --> 00:41:45.715
So, you know, it's interesting because we talk about all the time being attacked Well, I thought you did this all yourself anyway, he was a lazy fuck.

00:41:46.755 --> 00:41:51.795
I didn't say that. I said I worked my ass off. You said you sacrificed everything

00:41:52.355 --> 00:41:53.640
did. I did.

00:41:54.600 --> 00:41:55.400
You did?

00:41:55.720 --> 00:41:57.240
I carried the weight.

00:41:57.560 --> 00:42:01.960
And you have the business and your children in it? Yes. And he does not? Correct.

00:42:02.120 --> 00:42:04.440
So you did this for you and your family?

00:42:07.325 --> 00:42:07.965
Yes.

00:42:08.445 --> 00:42:10.525
Uh-huh. Why is it so painful as it is?

00:42:11.245 --> 00:42:16.045
No. I mean Yes? I'm a nurturer. Right? I'm a mom, so I protected my kids for sure.

00:42:16.860 --> 00:42:30.700
But honey, you did all this for love, and he was the wrong person because you have different values. You didn't do this for him, you did it for love. You hoped if you did all this, he would love you. Just like you hope if you're big enough, you'll have love from people, and they'll all respond to your voice and message. But they won't, because they all have their own lives.

00:42:31.535 --> 00:42:34.495
Before I found out, I was driven by love and significance.

00:42:34.495 --> 00:42:36.015
After UPW, I came Love

00:42:36.975 --> 00:42:37.935
is what you want.

00:42:38.575 --> 00:43:07.375
If you're driven by love and significance, you'd have another confusing experience. But really Certainty and significance. How many follow what we're talking about here? Raise your hand if you follow. And by the way, certainty and significance are the one you know, there's nothing wrong with certainty and significance, we all need them. But the sequence makes a difference. If you know the right number of phone numbers to reach somebody on the phone, and you dial the wrong sequence, you don't reach them. If you have a vault with all the treasures which she has inside of herself and you try to reach it with the wrong sequence, even though it's the right thoughts, it's not gonna happen.

00:43:09.695 --> 00:43:10.975
You got the wrong sequence.

00:43:11.215 --> 00:43:18.060
So I was running on that program and what You still are. Well, no. What I came to realize is what really drives me is growing and giving.

00:43:18.700 --> 00:43:27.260
Meaning, that's what would make you more fulfilled. That's what will make me But if that was true, if that was driving you right now, I'm not talking about what you want, I'm talking about what's make how are you operating?

00:43:28.145 --> 00:43:33.505
It's not hard to say you're operating because you're operating based on certainty and significance. You want total control certainty,

00:43:33.745 --> 00:43:39.825
and you want to be the one who's huge, which is significance. There's nothing wrong with either one of those. It's just that they will never fulfill you

00:43:40.545 --> 00:43:41.905
Agreed. In that level.

00:43:42.530 --> 00:43:44.690
But growth and contribution would,

00:43:45.010 --> 00:43:47.490
but in order to grow, you still wanna have control.

00:43:48.370 --> 00:43:48.850
So my

00:43:49.570 --> 00:43:50.450
is

00:43:50.450 --> 00:43:55.890
that if I got big enough, then when I talk to people about my true

00:43:57.095 --> 00:43:57.975
mission,

00:43:58.455 --> 00:44:00.455
and my mission statements,

00:44:00.455 --> 00:44:02.215
and my vision, and

00:44:02.695 --> 00:44:05.335
sharing the gospel, that they'll listen to me because

00:44:05.975 --> 00:44:08.375
And what happens if they listen to you? First of all, it's not true.

00:44:09.860 --> 00:44:30.095
Because when you get really big, how many people have grown really big and then found people resent you who you loved, and you hadn't You think they're great, but they resent your success or your financial free Who's that experienced this already? In fact, the more successful you become, are your chances of being rejected increased or decreased as you become more successful? Which one? In the world we're in today, massively increased.

00:44:30.495 --> 00:44:31.215
Today,

00:44:32.255 --> 00:44:33.775
powerlessness is the power.

00:44:34.255 --> 00:44:36.175
Victimhood is the power in our culture.

00:44:36.575 --> 00:44:37.855
Unfortunately, it's true.

00:44:38.255 --> 00:44:38.575
So,

00:44:39.360 --> 00:44:42.720
no, it won't. Then people will resent you. They won't listen to you.

00:44:43.040 --> 00:44:50.880
The people who listen to you are gonna listen to you because they connect with you. It's not gonna be because you're huge. Your platform is not gonna increase by doing a $100,000,000.

00:44:51.855 --> 00:44:54.415
It's a delusion. I said hallucination.

00:44:54.415 --> 00:44:56.655
Yeah. Yeah. Delusion's a better word. Okay.

00:44:59.135 --> 00:45:09.720
And we're taking a lot of time on this, and again, I'm hesitant. I wanna shift gears, but I also at the same time, there's an opportunity that she could step through. This is your last 190.

00:45:09.960 --> 00:45:11.800
That's a little more than three minutes.

00:45:12.520 --> 00:45:18.280
What do you need to do now? What's the truth that could set you free? What have you been not acknowledging?

00:45:18.665 --> 00:45:25.545
What's the illusion, delusion you need to let go of so you can move forward? Tell me the truth. Tell us the truth. Tell yourself the truth. We don't matter.

00:45:25.945 --> 00:45:29.385
Except it'd be inspiring to see you have the freedom you deserve

00:45:30.505 --> 00:45:35.560
if you wanted it. But you can't have freedom by hanging on to what you've been hanging on to. How many follow?

00:45:37.960 --> 00:45:40.840
I would like to say that. What's the delusion you have to let go of?

00:45:41.480 --> 00:45:42.840
What's

00:45:42.840 --> 00:45:50.280
the illusion? You told it multiple times to us, and you know if you have any intelligence, it's not true. But you've told yourself the story so long, you keep telling it.

00:45:52.175 --> 00:45:58.175
That somehow, when you get huge enough, you can tell people the gospel of what you believe and they will now listen. Yes.

00:45:58.575 --> 00:46:00.575
And if that happens, what would you get?

00:46:02.255 --> 00:46:04.495
I would feel like I was living my purpose.

00:46:05.180 --> 00:46:15.420
So you're not living your purpose now. Living with your family, growing a business, expanding it, that's not your purpose. Your purpose is to have a $100,000,000 business where you tell people what you believe and they listen and comply?

00:46:19.775 --> 00:46:23.775
I picked this woman randomly. Some of you go, this is bizarre. Wait till you get to the next person.

00:46:26.895 --> 00:46:38.360
Your mind will be blown when we get to the truth, because the truth is so far from what most of you are telling your limitations are, it's crazy. And some of you don't even think it's a waste of my time. My business is fucking crushing it. And it is, until it's not.

00:46:39.640 --> 00:46:40.760
Seasons change.

00:46:42.600 --> 00:46:46.680
So it might be good to figure it out now, so you can grow without having to have the little glitch in between.

00:46:47.355 --> 00:46:57.115
So you last hundred and twenty seconds, and you're on your own after this, which means you're probably gonna have the I don't wanna be on my own. And you're gonna have to start all this I don't wanna be on my own.

00:46:57.515 --> 00:47:01.035
That's the thing. I don't wanna be on my own. What do you want?

00:47:02.650 --> 00:47:05.450
I don't wanna be on my own, but I wanna be in control.

00:47:05.930 --> 00:47:07.930
And you know it's true, that's why you laughed.

00:47:09.770 --> 00:47:13.770
So you don't wanna be about yourself in your intimate relationship or in your business? Both.

00:47:14.525 --> 00:47:16.845
Which one's the one that's more important to you?

00:47:17.405 --> 00:47:20.525
Well, I feel if I was intimately connected,

00:47:20.525 --> 00:47:26.845
I'd feel supported and then I could do anything. So the truth is, we just need to get you laid on a regular basis.

00:47:28.205 --> 00:47:29.565
And all this shit would go away.

00:47:30.330 --> 00:47:37.850
So maybe this whole thing is you should be focusing not on your business, but on finding someone to share your life with. And

00:47:37.930 --> 00:47:40.650
then you wouldn't have all these trapped energies going on.

00:47:42.010 --> 00:47:42.330
But

00:47:44.585 --> 00:47:48.345
here's the problem, you can't even have an orgasm and be in control.

00:47:50.185 --> 00:47:52.345
Ladies, true or false? True.

00:47:52.505 --> 00:47:55.545
If a woman's trying to be in control, she won't have an orgasm.

00:47:55.865 --> 00:47:56.985
Now, a man,

00:47:57.780 --> 00:47:59.780
yeah, you can get that guy to do anything.

00:48:03.300 --> 00:48:06.020
Women need a reason to make love. Men just need a fucking place.

00:48:09.795 --> 00:48:16.675
But a woman, if she is trying to be in control, she will not be able to have an orgasm because orgasm is letting go completely.

00:48:17.475 --> 00:48:19.395
That's female physiology.

00:48:19.395 --> 00:48:20.515
It's not my perception.

00:48:20.915 --> 00:48:27.080
I'm actually good in that department. Nine kids for a reason. Well, that's encouraging. What's what's your room number if people might be interested?

00:48:30.120 --> 00:48:36.200
See, by the way, look how look how big she smiles when we talk about this subject. There's a different woman here. Give her a hand. Look at this face over here. Look at this.

00:48:41.295 --> 00:48:48.575
So we're out of time, so I'm gonna offer you to tell me the three things you need to do to change it all now.

00:48:49.055 --> 00:48:52.415
And they're not the things you want to tell me, they're the things that are true.

00:48:53.980 --> 00:49:05.980
So if what you want is to not be alone anymore, that's kind of a hard thing because you're focused on what you don't want instead of what you do want. And the more you focus on what you don't want, wherever focus goes, energy what? Flows.

00:49:07.065 --> 00:49:10.505
So what do you want? You keep telling us what you don't want.

00:49:12.665 --> 00:49:16.825
I want to invite people to be my partners.

00:49:17.065 --> 00:49:19.785
No. No. No. Stop going to the business. Why did you go to business?

00:49:20.380 --> 00:49:26.620
Why do most people spend more time in their business than in their intimate relationship? Because they feel more in School.

00:49:26.700 --> 00:49:34.060
In the business. In an intimate relationship with someone who's of the opposite sex or same sex but opposite energy, because that's what attracts you,

00:49:35.185 --> 00:49:37.265
They're like another species.

00:49:39.185 --> 00:49:47.745
So you're not in control there. You can do it. Guys, how many of her done things you thought you did everything right, and she's pissed and you've done nothing? Gentlemen, make some noise if you've ever had this experience. Go.

00:49:51.000 --> 00:49:57.400
Don't have to do anything. She can get pissed and then, by the way, she gets happier doing nothing, but you forget that. You think it's all you. I made her fucking happy. Was me.

00:50:01.800 --> 00:50:03.160
So

00:50:03.160 --> 00:50:06.600
instead of going for what you control, let's talk about for

00:50:06.285 --> 00:50:08.045
two minutes, that's all we got left.

00:50:11.485 --> 00:50:12.445
This is it.

00:50:14.045 --> 00:50:16.125
No more time distortion.

00:50:17.885 --> 00:50:21.645
Tell me what you want in your intimate relationship because that's what's fucking it up.

00:50:24.880 --> 00:50:27.200
You're good at orgasm, I hear. Yes.

00:50:27.680 --> 00:50:29.360
Awesome. You're on your way.

00:50:30.720 --> 00:50:32.480
I wanna trust somebody.

00:50:32.640 --> 00:50:33.440
Ah.

00:50:34.800 --> 00:50:43.965
There you go. Pretty hard to have a partner with no trust. In order to trust someone, what do you have to do to be able to trust someone? This is pretty important question for all of you to answer. To trust someone. By the way, in business,

00:50:44.445 --> 00:50:59.960
you need two things, trust and respect. Jot them down. If they're not there, the business is hurting. If you look at your organization and it's not growing you want, there are people in the organization that don't trust each other, or they don't respect each other, or both. When trust and respect are there, something interesting happens.

00:51:00.120 --> 00:51:00.920
Energy

00:51:01.000 --> 00:51:06.435
goes outward to serve customers. When there isn't trust and respect, the energy used internally

00:51:06.435 --> 00:51:09.315
amongst people being pissed or frustrated or positioning.

00:51:09.955 --> 00:51:13.635
There's only so much e. The ultimate e in business is energy.

00:51:13.955 --> 00:51:24.690
It's either going for external marketing to support clients, or it's going to internal marketing to resolve all the influxes of problems where people don't respect and don't trust each other. If

00:51:24.690 --> 00:51:36.005
your business is not growing, I don't care what you think. I can promise you there's a lack of trust and respect. So if you wanna be able to trust someone, someone tell me, you tell me. What has to happen for you to be able to trust somebody?

00:51:36.565 --> 00:51:37.605
Anyone

00:51:37.765 --> 00:51:46.420
tell me. What do gotta do to trust someone? Worry. Raise your hand. Tell me. What do you gotta do to able yes, sir. Respect them. You gotta respect them. What do you gotta do to be able to respect them?

00:51:47.780 --> 00:51:51.540
Let's go. Let's go. That's just his model. It's not actually accurate.

00:51:52.580 --> 00:51:53.300
Could

00:51:53.540 --> 00:51:54.740
you trust an enemy?

00:51:56.005 --> 00:52:00.005
Is there a situation which you could actually trust someone who's an enemy?

00:52:00.245 --> 00:52:06.005
Yes. I don't believe in enemies, but if you think of them, yes. Yes. If your needs are aligned,

00:52:06.645 --> 00:52:07.685
you can trust someone.

00:52:09.090 --> 00:52:14.930
I do. But you made a poor choice in the past, you blamed him. You picked somebody whose needs were not aligned with your own.

00:52:15.490 --> 00:52:19.890
That's part of life. That's not something bad. It's just that's how you learn. But then you froze

00:52:20.050 --> 00:52:22.050
because you don't ever wanna experience that again.

00:52:22.885 --> 00:52:24.245
But instead of learning.

00:52:25.125 --> 00:52:29.205
See, I've done business with people. I remember I did business with somebody nobody on my team trusted,

00:52:29.445 --> 00:52:37.445
and I said, guys, here's why we can trust them. We're gonna set the agreement up this way. When we win, when he when we win, he wins huge. When we lose, he gets massive pain.

00:52:38.100 --> 00:52:40.660
And guess what? We had a great five year relationship, built

00:52:41.140 --> 00:52:42.180
things like crazy.

00:52:42.340 --> 00:52:51.140
Because all of our values and needs, all of our interests were aligned. Raise your hand if you follow. That structure has to be either in a business partnership or an intimate one.

00:52:51.935 --> 00:52:57.295
And then how do you know you can respect somebody? You only respect somebody if they bring something to the table you don't have.

00:52:58.095 --> 00:53:04.415
If they bring the same thing to your table as you, you might like them, but that doesn't make you respect them. You respect somebody because they bring something to the table.

00:53:05.660 --> 00:53:08.460
That is right on point for me. I know.

00:53:09.260 --> 00:53:11.340
Thank you for confirming what I already know.

00:53:12.700 --> 00:53:13.980
But here's the problem.

00:53:14.220 --> 00:53:19.420
You aren't operating from the very beginning. You're not willing to trust even the beginning of the process.

00:53:20.095 --> 00:53:24.575
You're wanting it to all be the way you want it upfront, and trust and respect are earned.

00:53:24.895 --> 00:53:26.095
You

00:53:26.095 --> 00:53:30.575
gotta be able to trust enough to open, but the kind of trust you're calling absolute trust,

00:53:30.735 --> 00:53:32.015
you get through time with someone.

00:53:32.930 --> 00:53:45.890
But you aren't even giving it enough time, because you're busy trying to become huge over here, because you think you have control of that. Clearly, you don't, because you're not fulfilled in the side. See, this is the part that makes it messy. I know this is not probably what you wanted today,

00:53:46.050 --> 00:54:00.165
because I'd love to give you some fucking strategies, which we're gonna do, don't worry. They're gonna blow your mind. You're gonna, holy fuck. I could fuck up and grow my business a 100%. We're gonna give you those. But without solving this, and not this because you're different than her, but whatever those internal conflicts are, it won't get implemented.

00:54:01.260 --> 00:54:06.220
Or it'll start to get implemented and then you'll pull back. Who knows what I'm talking about here? Say I. I.

00:54:06.780 --> 00:54:07.500
So

00:54:08.060 --> 00:54:08.860
you

00:54:09.500 --> 00:54:12.140
want a relationship with someone who?

00:54:12.540 --> 00:54:15.100
I can trust and respect. Who would that be?

00:54:18.235 --> 00:54:20.475
Let's call it a man for starters.

00:54:21.275 --> 00:54:25.115
You said you want a man. Yes. You trust and respect. Yes.

00:54:25.755 --> 00:54:26.475
How do you know?

00:54:29.580 --> 00:54:33.500
Well, I definitely would go through making sure our values were aligned.

00:54:33.580 --> 00:54:34.460
That's great.

00:54:35.020 --> 00:54:35.500
And

00:54:37.980 --> 00:54:40.140
I think I would see the signs now.

00:54:40.380 --> 00:54:46.305
Okay. Yes. Because you have more experience. Yeah. Yeah. Just like business, you have more experience, you make better decisions. Right? Yeah.

00:54:46.545 --> 00:54:54.065
But right now, how much are you working on this plan to find a man you trust and respect and can deepen a relationship with? How much time do you give that?

00:54:54.465 --> 00:54:56.785
I just gave up a year to come here.

00:54:57.025 --> 00:55:00.920
What do mean you gave up a year? Oh, I literally said I'm gonna commit this year

00:55:01.160 --> 00:55:06.040
to No. But I want you to see her model the world. I'm sorry. I wanna move on, but it's just too helpful.

00:55:06.360 --> 00:55:07.320
Everything

00:55:09.080 --> 00:55:16.425
in her model is I gave up. What kind of fucking bullshit is this? This is martyr bullshit. This is why she's alone.

00:55:18.665 --> 00:55:21.385
I gave you didn't give anything up. I'm committing.

00:55:21.385 --> 00:55:25.225
I'm I'm investing in myself. I'm investing in you. I'm investing in this room.

00:55:25.780 --> 00:55:39.460
No. You're investing in me. You're investing in you. Yeah. This is bullshit. You're investing you only if you believe it's worthwhile, and you're investing in believe it's worthwhile. You're part of National University. I'm willing. I'm willing. So you're going to three programs in a year or two years. That's not giving up your year.

00:55:41.155 --> 00:55:46.835
Poor choice of words. No. No. No. You always choose those words in the interactions I've had with you so far.

00:55:47.395 --> 00:55:48.995
Everything is what you give up.

00:55:50.195 --> 00:55:51.315
That's why you're alone.

00:55:51.875 --> 00:55:53.795
That's the most selfish way to look at life.

00:55:54.430 --> 00:56:00.350
Not saying you're a selfish person, because I don't believe you are. I believe you're a really giving person. But you've come up with this story,

00:56:00.670 --> 00:56:06.910
so you could feel them in control. And the best way to control is, I'm giving everything. I'm the one. That's significance.

00:56:07.150 --> 00:56:20.305
That's not love. Raise your hand if you follow this. So you're giving up and no one wants to be around somebody who's constantly being told how much you gave up. Fuck you. I don't need you to be here. Go. I'll give you money back right now. I don't need a penny from you. If you think you're investing in me, you're fucking mistaken.

00:56:20.865 --> 00:56:25.970
I'm here because I choose to serve. Don't I need to do a fucking thing the rest of my life for money.

00:56:26.370 --> 00:56:34.370
But this is what lights me up is to see people have a breakthrough. That's why I'm still talking to you after all this time. Because I really want you to have it, but I'm not gonna force it.

00:56:34.690 --> 00:56:41.265
That's the difference. It's the only difference here. Can you see the pattern? How many can see the pattern of everything is I've given something up?

00:56:41.665 --> 00:56:42.545
How

00:56:42.545 --> 00:56:47.105
can you possibly be happy in your life when everything's a sacrifice? You won't be happy,

00:56:47.425 --> 00:56:48.545
but you'll feel

00:56:49.105 --> 00:56:50.465
validated and significant.

00:56:52.430 --> 00:56:59.870
This is bullshit. You've done what you wanna do. You came here because you want this for you. You didn't want it for the people in this room. Don't even fucking know them. You're not invested in this room,

00:57:00.590 --> 00:57:01.950
and you don't even know me.

00:57:02.910 --> 00:57:10.225
You believe I can help you, and you are right, but you have to do the work. Mhmm. I won't do the work for you because it won't last. Mhmm.

00:57:10.945 --> 00:57:14.945
I'd love to. Part of me just love to. I love being a hero. Don't you guys?

00:57:15.345 --> 00:57:16.545
But

00:57:16.545 --> 00:57:20.145
rather than be a hero, I'd like to see you actually have long term success.

00:57:21.000 --> 00:57:22.840
That's the sweetest way I can put that.

00:57:26.920 --> 00:57:28.200
Do you see the pattern?

00:57:29.000 --> 00:57:29.720
Yes.

00:57:29.800 --> 00:57:31.320
What do you see? Tell me what you see.

00:57:36.605 --> 00:57:38.525
I see I

00:57:39.485 --> 00:57:40.845
see sufferings.

00:57:40.845 --> 00:57:46.925
Some Yes. Feel victimized or murdered Yes. You feel victimized. Suffering. But who's doing the victimization?

00:57:46.925 --> 00:57:51.470
No. No. I don't I'm saying I don't believe I'm a victim. I'm too but I feel I

00:57:51.790 --> 00:57:53.070
feel I'm suffering.

00:57:53.710 --> 00:57:56.030
Suffering comes from focusing on who?

00:57:56.830 --> 00:58:09.085
Fail. When someone says, oh, no. I'm suffering because my kids aren't doing well in school or they're on drugs or something. I'm suffering because I'm worried about them. No. The reason you're suffering is you think you have failed your kids. Otherwise, you'd just be focused on the solution.

00:58:10.205 --> 00:58:19.005
The suffering is you think, I fucked up. I didn't do it. It's about me. The only time you suffer is when you focus on you, what you're not getting, what you're not receiving, what you're not experiencing.

00:58:19.490 --> 00:58:29.170
Which is why I love business, because business makes you, if you're successful, have to focus on those you're serving, if you're gonna be successful. And when you're serving others, you're not thinking about yourself. And you're lit up,

00:58:29.490 --> 00:58:40.465
and spirit is coming through you, Instead of the fucking mind that's always trying to figure out how do I make myself get what I want, look good, feel good in the moment. That's not business. Business is how do I make you get what you deserve.

00:58:41.505 --> 00:58:52.930
And then you're not selfish, and so you're free of your own fucking mind, and your heart and spirit is what's running you. And that's why business is a spiritual game for those that are successful. Those that failure, business is a fucking pain.

00:58:53.490 --> 00:58:58.530
And that's why I don't want you to stay operators, my friends. Because to stay an operator, you gotta focus on yourself.

00:58:59.385 --> 00:59:01.465
Because you're worried about your sense of control.

00:59:01.785 --> 00:59:10.025
If you can get loose of that, just even for a little bit, and focus on serving the client, focus on serving your internal associates and partners and your employees,

00:59:10.345 --> 00:59:16.120
and get juiced about that, you won't be thinking about you. And all of a sudden, shit will flow. Good stuff will flow.

00:59:16.440 --> 00:59:18.040
You'll see a transformation.

00:59:18.040 --> 00:59:21.720
You'll build a culture, because that's what you need. You need a culture.

00:59:21.880 --> 00:59:30.875
A culture does well when you're not there. People don't say, in the early days of my business, everybody said, what does Tony think? What would Tony say? What would People don't ask anymore. They go, what is right?

00:59:31.435 --> 00:59:39.035
Because they we know what we know what I value, what the company values is what's right. I want people to do what's right. Make your own fucking choices. You don't even need come to Tony.

00:59:39.275 --> 00:59:44.150
And all of a sudden, I got businesses growing, and I began to have more reach and more impact.

00:59:45.430 --> 00:59:47.990
Because I gave up control. I still have influence.

00:59:48.550 --> 00:59:50.790
And I choose where to put that influence,

00:59:51.030 --> 00:59:56.150
where I can have the most impact. But then I look for people that are better than me in some area, who can also influence.

00:59:56.695 --> 01:00:04.455
And now you have a real business instead of a job you call a business. You're no longer just self employed. You really are an owner.

01:00:05.095 --> 01:00:06.695
Owners could leave for a month.

01:00:07.015 --> 01:00:15.170
The company you are part of to play part of the seminar is Robins Research. That's one of my 54 companies. I've been there twice in the last year.

01:00:15.650 --> 01:00:22.290
I've probably been there six times in the last three years. And the company has grown 20% compounded per year for ten straight years.

01:00:22.930 --> 01:00:23.890
How

01:00:23.890 --> 01:00:32.945
is that happening? Because I built a great team. We have a great culture, and that doesn't mean we don't make mistakes or mess up, but we catch them, we solve it, we go for the next level, we keep on growing.

01:00:33.425 --> 01:00:41.280
And I'm gonna show you precisely how I've done that the next few days. I'm gonna show you how to do it with your business with precision, but none of that shit will work till we get through this bullshit.

01:00:41.680 --> 01:00:52.545
And you have your own version if you're not if you're honest with yourself. We all do. And even if you're highly sophisticated in your business and going great, the next level's gonna take a different level of thinking. So it might might be less gross distinction.

01:00:52.545 --> 01:00:54.065
It might be a more simple,

01:00:54.065 --> 01:01:07.265
refined distinction. But that little 10 degree shift you make, take it out a month from now, six months from now, a year from now, it's a different destination. It's a different destiny. It's a different level of success or failure. How many follow? Say, I. I. It's the level of thinking.

01:01:08.200 --> 01:01:08.760
So

01:01:09.560 --> 01:01:15.800
what you want is a relationship with a man you can trust and respect. We're out of time. How are you gonna do that? How much time do you spend on that now? That

01:01:16.360 --> 01:01:36.425
was my question before you told me you invested in everybody in this room and you invested in me and you sacrificed the whole year of your fucking life and all this bullshit fucking stories. I'm investing the time because I'm surrounding myself with great people. Wait. Then you didn't sacrifice anything. You didn't sacrifice a year. No. I you're right. I committed invested. I said Well, why do you keep using that term? Because you've used it around him. You've used around your kids.

01:01:36.745 --> 01:01:47.980
You've used around me. It's very seven. It's just training in the words. But I did have a distinction just now. Tell me. I'm this is perfectly ironically suited because I'm in the business of disruptive spirits

01:01:47.980 --> 01:01:49.980
where all I do is serve people.

01:01:50.380 --> 01:01:58.355
And what you just said is we need to disrupt our spirit and learn to serve. And I'm like, wait a minute. I'm in disruptive spirits,

01:01:58.435 --> 01:02:00.355
and all day long, I serve.

01:02:00.595 --> 01:02:04.195
So let's bring it back to you instead of what's fun out there. How

01:02:05.715 --> 01:02:09.450
much time are you spending on finding this man that's so important to you? How

01:02:10.810 --> 01:02:12.090
many hours a day?

01:02:13.370 --> 01:02:14.730
A week? A month?

01:02:16.730 --> 01:02:19.530
Just tell me the truth. I I am spending time.

01:02:19.610 --> 01:02:21.450
Really? Tell me. How much time?

01:02:22.570 --> 01:02:23.930
Every

01:02:23.435 --> 01:02:27.115
I go to the dating sites. I hired a personal

01:02:28.395 --> 01:02:31.835
finder, whatever you call those Personal finder. Matchmakers.

01:02:31.995 --> 01:02:32.875
Matchmaker.

01:02:32.875 --> 01:02:38.340
Uh-huh. Yes. I go on a lot of dates. How many dates you've been on in the last nine months?

01:02:39.060 --> 01:02:43.860
Oh, I go on a lot of dates. How many have you gone in the last nine months? No. Like breakfast,

01:02:43.860 --> 01:02:57.945
lunch, dinner. How many Four times a week. No. I'm doing that work. Four times a week. Yes. And you're going to people that people have pointed you in the direction of? Yeah. People bring people. And what happens when you get to these dates? Watch this. I

01:02:59.145 --> 01:02:59.545
haven't

01:03:00.185 --> 01:03:02.265
Four times a week, you're going on dates and what happens?

01:03:03.460 --> 01:03:07.300
I have a great time. I love people. Okay. And?

01:03:08.260 --> 01:03:11.300
I feel like I haven't met anybody that's

01:03:12.660 --> 01:03:13.780
at my

01:03:14.420 --> 01:03:16.340
could have an understanding of what I'm doing.

01:03:17.245 --> 01:03:20.845
How could they have an understanding of what you're doing when they've not been around you long enough to know that?

01:03:22.445 --> 01:03:26.605
I'm just saying that the people that so far I've met haven't

01:03:26.685 --> 01:03:28.605
I like, intolerate

01:03:28.605 --> 01:03:34.320
entrepreneurs and like, oh, that was a bad match. That kind of thing. I see. Yeah. So what needs to change?

01:03:35.360 --> 01:03:36.080
I

01:03:36.720 --> 01:03:38.800
need a better dating pool

01:03:39.120 --> 01:03:40.160
for sure.

01:03:41.200 --> 01:03:41.920
No.

01:03:43.520 --> 01:03:49.295
What if I were to tell you that you're busy judging other people because you're so afraid to lose control?

01:03:49.935 --> 01:03:56.015
That it's impossible to get to a point of any intimacy because you're making judgments before you can get there because you don't wanna be vulnerable,

01:03:56.095 --> 01:04:01.610
because you're afraid that vulnerability leads to pain. And so then you take You say, I'm doing it because you're trying

01:04:01.930 --> 01:04:05.370
Mhmm. But you don't really give your all because you're still keeping in reserve.

01:04:05.610 --> 01:04:18.365
And then you go to work on the business because you're more comfortable there, but then you're frustrated there because to grow that piece, you gotta be in partners with people that don't agree with everything you're saying, and so you're not in control there. So now you call it stuck, and that's the whole fucking story in one minute.

01:04:19.085 --> 01:04:20.045
So

01:04:27.405 --> 01:04:28.685
I'm I'm gonna be done here.

01:04:30.310 --> 01:04:44.230
Until you are willing to tell yourself the truth that I'm not in control and I need to open up and be fucking scared as shit and be vulnerable as hell, there'll be no progress in your personal life and very little in your business life. I'm there. And when you get to a $100,000,000,

01:04:44.625 --> 01:04:47.985
assuming you got there, you will still have the same fucking problems.

01:04:48.065 --> 01:04:59.410
But you won't get the 100,000,000 trying to control everything. So what will you do now on the business side? Tell me three things and we're done. What are you gonna do so this conversation led to something productive, Victor? Yes. I am going to

01:04:59.970 --> 01:05:05.330
tighten up my plan and my ask. Okay. I'm gonna meet with a lot of investors.

01:05:05.410 --> 01:05:09.650
Yes. I'm gonna sing my story. What's the multiple you're looking for?

01:05:10.530 --> 01:05:11.570
At least 10 oh.

01:05:12.665 --> 01:05:18.425
For the investors. What you're selling them some part of your business for a multiple, I assume. Is that right? Yes. What's the multiple?

01:05:19.305 --> 01:05:20.905
Probably 10 times.

01:05:21.065 --> 01:05:28.940
Okay. Is that aggressive for the size of business you're in? What's the tempo of growth you have? How much have you grown in the last ten years per year annualized?

01:05:28.940 --> 01:05:38.140
The last two and a half years I've been three, almost three years, been exactly the same, but it's because I can't open up additional markets. You will never get a 10 times multiple unless somebody's stupid.

01:05:39.195 --> 01:05:51.995
Because what is a multiple based on, ladies and gentlemen? Those who know that, if you're gonna sell a business, sell a multiple of your earnings or your gross. Depends on the industry. It's the industry. If it's a highly scalable business, if it's software, you might be able to get a multiple of your gross. I remember when Mark Benioff,

01:05:52.150 --> 01:05:59.590
know, you his business was doing a 100,000,000, mine was doing 200, and he was getting valuations like beyond anything I ever dreamed of. Because mine was based on earnings, it was based on revenues.

01:06:00.150 --> 01:06:08.355
Vision if you follow. And what determines is the pace of growth in the industry. So scalable business like that, you might be able to do it on revenues. Most business on earnings.

01:06:08.515 --> 01:06:10.355
But a small business with $3,000,000

01:06:10.355 --> 01:06:11.155
of gross

01:06:11.475 --> 01:06:18.355
that's been at the same numbers for multiple years, they don't give a fuck what your story is. You aren't gonna get it. It it's it is the industry. I promise.

01:06:19.200 --> 01:06:20.640
It's about sustainability

01:06:20.640 --> 01:06:24.160
and managing a I understand, but you're not getting it for a reason.

01:06:24.880 --> 01:06:29.680
That's why I was just biding the time by myself. It's a timing issue in my industry.

01:06:34.825 --> 01:06:39.305
Okay. But you're not meeting the needs of investors. If you're meeting the needs of investors, you'd have their money.

01:06:39.625 --> 01:07:04.825
Raise your hand if you follow this. You are not meeting their needs. You're trying to meet your needs, not theirs. What if you could get someone who would give you six and a half times multiple, but you believe they really were intelligent and brought things to the business you didn't see and could help you grow it? Abs I would go two times multiple for a strategic partner. Great. Then that's what you should do. Stop this 10 times discussion. It doesn't make any fucking sense for where you are. Or you're gonna have to wait years until you can show an actual growth pattern that's dynamic.

01:07:05.145 --> 01:07:28.700
And that means you're gonna be alone for more years. Is that what you want? No. I wanna sell one brand this year. A better multiple for the investors that fulfills their needs, and make sure it's an investor that can give you more value so that you grow the business to a higher multiple at some point where you could sell part of it then and having a bigger return. You're wanting everything now without doing the work. You've done the work to set it up, and not the work that meets their needs. Same thing is true with the men you're meeting.

01:07:30.115 --> 01:07:31.715
You're focused on your needs.

01:07:33.155 --> 01:07:38.595
You didn't tell me anything about their needs. When I asked you the questions, you never said it. You told me about what they weren't doing for you.

01:07:39.475 --> 01:07:42.515
They don't understand me. They don't understand what I mean. How would they? There's not enough time.

01:07:43.780 --> 01:07:59.045
You didn't say anything about what their needs were and whether you could meet them or not. Your mistake, and I'm done, is you're focused on you. And you're not a selfish person. I know you're a good human being, but you are operating from a place that is so selfish because you're using significance and certainty, and those things make you selfish when they're the top.

01:07:59.525 --> 01:08:06.325
That is your only reason for failing, and you are failing right now. Failing to meet your desires,

01:08:06.565 --> 01:08:09.285
your deepest desires, which is love and growth.

01:08:10.180 --> 01:08:11.060
And

01:08:11.060 --> 01:08:16.260
you're not gonna have either one of those if you hang on to this. I'm done with the conversation. Thank you for your time. Give her a hand.