If you're listening to this episode, you know that you create your own reality. But there might be some aspects of your reality that you would like to stop creating. And in fact, they might be patterns that have been continuing for a while. It might be in your relationships. It could be in your finances.
But it's like everywhere you go, there you are. The same types of circumstances and situations just keep showing up and you're wondering, what do I have to do to break the pattern? Well, this episode of of Changed Mind, I'm gonna share with you exactly what you need to do. I'm gonna break it down for you in a practical and simple way and we're actually gonna do it in record time. So let's get into it.
Alright, guys. If you've been doing mindset or personal growth for a while, you understand you're creating your own reality, you're taking responsibility
for what it is that you create, but there might be some patterns that are showing up over and over again that you're kinda sick and tired of and you're wanting to transform them. You know, this came up in a private client coaching conversation last week where my client who runs a real estate business said, you know, I I get these new team members and they always seem like they're gonna be different members that they're gonna work out for my team, but they end up being the same type of problems and I've got this revolving door within my organization and I wanna I wanna stop it because I wanna grow
my company. She said, have another friend of mine where he's got a different pattern. It's like he has this fear that the deals are gonna fall through and so they actually do. And he no matter what he does, he gets really, really close to getting a deal to cross the finish line and then it doesn't work out. It may not be in business but it might be in your personal life, you know. It's like you've been dating the same type of person over and over, maybe you just left some crappy relationship and you meet someone new and you're like, oh my god, this is somebody completely different. And then within a couple of months, realize, wow, this is the same type of crappy person that I was experiencing before. It's like everywhere
you go, there you are. So I wanna explain what these patterns are to you and more importantly, how you can transform them. My clients said like, can you explain to me what's going on here? Like, what can I do? The answer is, you can actually experience
the pattern differently than the way you've been experiencing it. When you experience the pattern differently, that's what actually starts to catalyze the change in the termination of the pattern. And so I'm gonna give you an example of how to experience it differently. Most of us
experience these patterns as what we would call problems.
Right? It's a problem. You know, I hired somebody from my team, they didn't work out, it's been going on for a while, this is my problem.
Right? I get close to closing these deals and then they fall through, this is my problem. You know, I wanna meet someone,
have a soul mate, and I keep dating the same people over and over. This is the problem. What's important to shift is your perception of this experience
because
a problem is just a label.
And when we call something a problem,
the problems stay. The patterns and the cycle stay. But what's actually true, and this is a writer downer, is that problems don't come to stay, they come to pass.
So it's very important to understand. There will be challenges in your life, in your business, in your health, in your relationships,
but the challenges, what we would call the problems,
they never come to stay, they come to pass. But you're so powerful
that you have the ability
to perpetuate the problem to actually keep it around.
How do you do that?
By labeling it a problem. Now stick with me here. Okay? Because this is gonna sound too good to be true or it'll sound a little bit like a tongue twister, but it's not. Those patterns
that show up in your life,
I'm gonna invite you to not call them problems
but call them teachings.
Okay? The teaching has shown up
and there is something that you need to learn from this.
In fact, when you came here into this life and you incarnated,
there was a set of things that you wanted to learn. You wanted to develop some
capacity
in terms of your soul.
It might be to be more confident. It might be to be more faithful.
It might be to be more giving or loving.
And life is like resistance training in the gym. It's gonna give you the resistance that you need in order to help you grow stronger. And so
these patterns
that we're calling problems that we so desperately want to stop, and believe me, I get it. I understand it. I've had plenty of patterns in my life.
They're actually teachings.
When we can ask ourselves,
what am I learning from this? What is the teaching here?
When we gain the teaching, the patterns begin to subside.
Okay? When you gain the teaching, the patterns begin to subside. Hey, it's David. Quick announcement before we get back to your episode. Our annual event, the Powerful Living Experience is coming up. There's a link in the show notes where you can visit powerfullivingexperience.com.
Check out the video of last year's event. We're gonna be bringing together a thousand impact driven entrepreneurs,
leaders, and game changers to spend three days doing what matters most.
Going really, really deep on identifying the limiting beliefs and subconscious programs that are still preventing you from your full potential and going through deep experiential and trainings
and transforming them. We're also gonna be getting into concepts like wealth creation, purpose, greatness, money, relationships, health. And if you're an entrepreneur, we're gonna be spending about 20% of that event opening up my business playbook. The same strategies and tactics and techniques that we use to go from 0 to $30,000,000 in an impact driven business while spending 90% of my time doing what I love. There's nothing like the powerful living experience, Inc. Named it a top three must attend personal development event for entrepreneurs and leaders and I wanna see you there. We've got some discounted tickets right now plus some additional bonuses. Again, all the information is in the link in the show notes where you can jump on over to powerfullivingexperience.com,
get registered, and I will plan on seeing you there along with a thousand other impact driven incredible members of our community for three days that you will never forget. And now, back to your regularly scheduled episode. I'll give you an example. I'm almost embarrassed to share this example because I'm so conscious now.
But back in the day,
I had a girlfriend. In the early two thousands, I first moved to Orlando, Florida. And I met this girl, She was a bikini model,
and she had a job.
And I thought at that time, like, I just wanted to meet a a hot girl. We've talked about this on another episode, so it sounds like it's a it's like a big thing for me, but it's just such a relatable story. I wanted to meet like a girl who was hot. Alright?
And but I also wanted to meet a woman who was like a professional. So I was like, oh, like this is perfect. Right? This girl's a bikini model and she's got a regular job. Nothing against bikini models, nothing against people with jobs. I'm just telling you where my consciousness was at at the time. We got together and
I wasn't particularly present in the relationship. This was back when I was doing a lot of drinking, was doing a lot of drugs, a lot of pot smoking,
very much focused on my business so I wasn't present in the relationship.
And, uh, I think I just talked about this a couple episodes ago. This was the first relationship I was ever in where I got cheated on not once but twice.
And it was it was devastating for me. I experienced it as a problem. Right? In fact, the problem was so big I didn't eat for months, I didn't sleep for months,
um, did everything I could to try to get this girl back, finally got her back, then she cheated on me again. This was the pattern, right, that I had been experiencing. I'd actually been going out on like date after date after date after date with different girls who, you know, in hindsight,
weren't in alignment with who I was becoming in my life. But when I when I look at it, the the learning there was that I didn't wanna just be with a beautiful woman. I wanted to be with a beautiful woman,
um, who was spiritually connected,
who had the shared values with me. Right? Because obviously, infidelity is not a value that I hold dear. And, um, that I wanted to be with somebody who would intellectually stimulate me because I wasn't intellectually stimulated in the relationship. It's one of the reasons among many that I wasn't particularly present in the relationship.
Right? So that was the learning. That's what I took away from it. It was actually that learning and who I became in the process that helped me
become
the quality of person
to be able to hold the relationship
with the woman I'm with now, with my wife, right, who's an extraordinary woman, spiritually connected,
strong values, disciplined,
caring, compassionate, giving, the mother of my son. I've had situations like this, uh, in business. Right? I had an employee who, um, I caught lying to me. A few months later, he ended up quitting with no notice,
and this was super inconvenient.
And when he gave the feedback, he said he was being overworked. He was working too many hours. And so I had checked in with the person who was managing at that time, and it turns out that they had canceled his one on one, so we weren't getting that feedback that he was feeling overworked. And this was a problem and this was something that had been persisting a lot like bringing on employees, losing employees, bringing on employees, losing employees.
But I have a big vision for the organization that I'm creating, the mission that we have in the world, and so I have to become a better leader and I have to learn how to build a culture and a company that can sustain the size
of the vision and the impact that we wanna make in the world. And so what I learned from this is transparency is important. Transparency not only in terms of my employees being honest, right, being transparent,
but also transparency and being able to say to my team, hey, if you guys feel like there's too much work, let us know. We wanna know. Hey, if you feel like the work that you're being assigned
is not work you can do well, just because it's in your job description, we're not here to force it down your throat. Right? Let us know, and we'll see if we can have someone else do the work or if we need to
reorganize your position. But we want transparency in the organization. That's what I learned. As I've learned this, the patterns have stopped.
Right? I met the woman of my dreams. I didn't have to go through the pattern anymore of dating girl after girl after girl who wasn't right for me.
And my organization has begun to stabilize with, like, really great a players
where we've got an authentic and transparent environment.
So the point is is that when you are experiencing a pattern
and it repeats itself, what that means is you're not getting the teaching.
And so rather than lament the problem
and think there's something wrong with you that you keep experiencing this problem, instead, a powerful inquiry is
what is this teaching me? What what am I learning
from this experience? Because if you can gain
the learning, if you can get the understanding
from
the problem,
right, which has been showing up as a pattern over and over and over again, there's no reason for the pattern to show up anymore. You actually become a changed person as a result of the awareness
of the teaching or the learning. And this is life's beautiful way of
helping us, supporting us,
and encouraging
us to become the best version of ourselves, that version that we came here to be,
which we must become if we want to be able to achieve the vision that we have, you know. Everybody wants to be rich,
but are you the person who can actually hold the container of wealth? Everybody wants to be in an amazing relationship, but are you actually someone who can hold a container of intimacy?
Everybody wants to, you know, have some level of success or authority, but are you able to hold the container of that level of responsibility?
And so these patterns that show up in our lives are intimately connected to what I would call our spiritual vision or our sole purpose because they're designed to help us gain the insights
that once gained transform
our perspective.
And ultimately, by transforming our perspective, they transform who we are. So the pattern that you're experiencing
can end
if you gain the teaching.
Now you can still gain
the understanding from the problem and then it may show up again. The question is why? And I've talked about this in other episodes.
Why it's what I call the echo effect. There's like this diminishing effect. It'll it'll still show up in order for you to begin to implement
the teaching and the understanding.
Right? Because it's one thing to understand it, it's another thing to become it. For example, in the case of my client who runs the real estate brokerage company who's also experiencing this employee turnaround or employee churn,
she may still hire another employee
and find out that that person is not who she expected them to be
and
ultimately
lose them, which I don't think is the right languaging. Right? But ultimately find that they're not the right fit for the organization. But that gives her an opportunity to implement
the teaching.
Right?
And through the process
of
what she's experienced with gaining and losing employees,
she was able to look back and actually realize she's becoming a better leader. Every single time it happens, she learned something. And you know what was so beautiful is I started working with her a year ago and we started working in the beginning of the year. I asked her what the number one outcome is that she wanted to achieve
and she said, wanna become a better leader for my organization.
Well,
that's exactly what God gave her over the course of the last twelve months with all these teachings. That's how she becomes a better leader by experiencing what seems like a failed leadership and then saying, what is it I can learn from this? I've mentioned this other episodes, but I just love it so much. In the movie, Evan Almighty,
where Evan is a politician in New Jersey who is told by God that he needs to go build the ark. Right? And God is played by Morgan Freeman. And Evan's wife is in a diner one day completely depressed because she thinks her husband Evan has lost his mind. But the truth is is that he's starting to build a relationship with his children as he's building the ark. And Morgan Freeman says to Evan's wife who's looking down, what's the problem? And she says, well, I just feel like my my whole life is falling apart. Why? She said, my husband is this politician in New Jersey and you know, he sort of lost his mind. He's building the ark.
And of course, you know, Morgan Freeman is God so he knows that what she asked for was for the family to be closer together. And so he goes on this little riff where he says, you know, sweetie, do you think when God asks you when when when you ask God to become more courageous, God gives you courage or does he give you give you opportunities to be courageous?
Right? When you ask God to be more faithful, does he give you faith or does he give you opportunities to be more faithful? And then he drops it on or he says, if you ask to bring your family together and have them be closer together, do you think he brings them closer together or he creates opportunities for that to happen? So whatever it is that you came here wanting to achieve or be or do or have or whatever it is that you're asking for right now, life, God, the universe, Jesus, Allah, whatever you wanna call it, is it's giving you the training ground to do that. And one of the richest environments
for your growth are these patterns or cycles. And so again, my encouragement is to not experience them as problems. That's how you keep them around. You don't learn anything from it. You get entangled with the problem and the problem keeps showing up. Problems are not here to stay.
Problems
come to pass.
And the problem can pass if you allow it. How do you allow it? You realize that it is a teaching, it is a learning, it is a developmental process, and you become curious about these patterns. And you say, what is it that I'm meant to learn here? And as you gain the understanding, the pattern will begin to cycle out. And at some point in time when you no longer need the teaching anymore, it'll be gone. And it'll be gone because you're no longer someone who's coherent
or in alignment with the teaching. You don't need it. You move on to the next level. But the patterns are always gonna be there. It's just important to understand that these patterns are tremendously valuable when you understand what they are because in the pattern
is the thing that's wanting to be gained or learned. And when you do, you can move on, you know. A friend of mine said, new level, new devil. Right? New level,
new pattern.
So hope this episode was helpful for you. I just wanted to give it to you straight. As always, I'm wanting to help you progress because, you know, this is not a do it yourself project. This is a do it with each other. And as much as it's valuable for me sharing with you, you know, these distinctions, it's really helpful for me to hear too. If you haven't yet, by the way, do me a favor. If you're you're following along on YouTube, subscribe.
Leave a comment. Uh, I try to read and respond to as many as I can. If you love the episode, share it with someone else. Following along on the audio platforms, do me a few. Leave me a rating or review. That would be awesome. My team absolutely loves getting those notifications.
And if you haven't yet, check out all the resources in the show notes. Got a ton of resources for you. My live event is coming up. We've got my book on Amazon.
Uh, we've got some digital courses if you wanna go deeper, and you can jump on over to davidbear.com.
Subscribe to our newsletter. I'll send you a four part video series that actually explains to you these principles that are gonna help you eliminate these patterns and go beyond personal growth and really have a powerful living experience. So I love you so much, and I will see you in the next episode.