WEBVTT 00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:11.360 So, hey, guys. Are you frustrated with where you're at right now? Maybe stunted in your progress? Well, if you are, I wanna recommend a place for you to go called Growth Day. Growthday.com/ed. 00:00:11.520 --> 00:00:18.565 It is the number one personal development app on the planet. It's got all kinds of high performance techniques in there, courses, accountability, 00:00:18.565 --> 00:00:27.205 journaling, live speeches from some of the top influencers in the world, including me. It's an overall environment to change your life. Growthday.com/ed. 00:00:27.440 --> 00:00:44.975 It's a much easier thing to start pointing that, ah, you know what? I keep doing that, and it doesn't pay me back. And I'm not getting my compounding asset on that decision or those people placing it. Eliminate those, and by sheer mathematics, we end up with more of what does feed us. I achieved all of the goals that I set in 2016, 00:00:44.975 --> 00:00:45.615 became 00:00:46.255 --> 00:00:52.095 the ideal version of myself. So I actually rather than guessed at what would happen, 00:00:52.335 --> 00:00:54.255 I actually experienced it. 00:00:54.495 --> 00:01:03.390 Can we get right into your brain, brother? Let's go. Let's go. So I think one of the cool things about personal development and the journey of self awareness and whatnot 00:01:03.550 --> 00:01:11.045 is figuring out your identity. And so in preparing for this, I'm like, some of the things you say I've not heard ever said this way in 00:01:11.285 --> 00:01:14.485 self help, personal development, self improvement. And you said 00:01:14.805 --> 00:01:20.645 finding your identity, I'd like you to elaborate on this, is more like a process of elimination than it is discovery. 00:01:20.645 --> 00:01:22.085 I've never heard that before. 00:01:22.725 --> 00:01:23.365 Well, 00:01:23.525 --> 00:01:24.645 we all wanna 00:01:24.810 --> 00:01:31.530 figure out who we are. As Bob Dylan says, hey. Everyone's their own creation. Just create it. We all wanna know what that is. 00:01:32.250 --> 00:01:33.370 The affirmative 00:01:33.850 --> 00:01:36.090 way to go forward, how to play offense. 00:01:36.970 --> 00:01:38.570 But I found that 00:01:38.890 --> 00:01:39.930 that's hard, man. 00:01:41.475 --> 00:01:43.315 That's hard. What's much easier? 00:01:43.715 --> 00:01:47.395 And I think the reasonable first step to figuring out who we are is let's 00:01:47.955 --> 00:01:56.560 define who we're not. Yeah. Let's pick out those people, places, things we do, habits we have that don't pay us back, that don't feed us tomorrow, 00:01:56.640 --> 00:02:01.680 that that don't that don't give us green lights in the future, those investments that 00:02:01.920 --> 00:02:03.440 don't have ROI, 00:02:03.840 --> 00:02:07.520 those ones that we keep waking up tomorrow and a little bit of a debit. Damn it. I got a hangover. 00:02:08.165 --> 00:02:16.245 I had the same amount of drinks at that bar as I have somewhere else, but I got a worse hangover. Well, maybe it was the conversation people were hanging out with. Eliminate those, 00:02:16.805 --> 00:02:41.225 and by process of elimination, sheer mathematics, you end up with more room for the things that do feed you. So it's a much easier thing to start pointing at, ah, you know what? I keep doing that, and it doesn't pay me back. And I'm not getting my compounding asset on that decision or those people placing it. Eliminate those, and by sheer mathematics, we end up with more of what does feed us and pay us back, who we are. Yeah. And it's okay when you say that. I got interviewed yesterday. That's incredible. 00:02:41.385 --> 00:03:01.080 I got interviewed yesterday. Got what are the steps to success? And I'm I said to him, in my life, it's been more eliminating the things that were harming my progress, and it was like uncovering this is the key. You know? It was more like Yeah. That hurt me. This took my energy away. This depleted me. That didn't serve me. Exactly what you just said. He used the term green lights, which, by the way, 00:03:01.800 --> 00:03:09.095 that's the title of his book that came out a couple years ago. You should read it. But if you really wanna give your gifts, give yourself a gift, get the audio version 00:03:09.335 --> 00:03:19.015 because you get to hear this voice of his, but, like, the impressions and the stories in the book are unbelievable. But because it's gonna lead to what you're doing on April 24, and it's also leads to just really the 00:03:19.700 --> 00:03:25.700 really kind of in the foundation of some of your belief systems in your work. What is by definition a green light? 00:03:27.620 --> 00:03:29.460 Being cool to your future self. 00:03:31.780 --> 00:03:34.100 Making choices so that we can engineer green lights, 00:03:35.225 --> 00:03:42.585 and then sometimes they're mystical. We love green lights. They're the left lane of life. Mhmm. A speed limit, window down, 00:03:42.985 --> 00:03:51.030 feet top open, cruising. We got our direction and a full tank of gas. Let's roll. We love them. We're in the right line at the supermarket. 00:03:51.510 --> 00:03:59.270 We're in the flow, as it's called. Lovely. Right? Things are working out when sometimes we're even conscious of it. We were just in line and on time. 00:04:00.015 --> 00:04:01.615 Yes is the answer, 00:04:01.935 --> 00:04:03.615 and we're choosing the right things. 00:04:03.855 --> 00:04:04.495 Yeah. 00:04:04.735 --> 00:04:07.695 But it's investments that we make, choices we make. 00:04:08.095 --> 00:04:12.335 I noticed in in in writing the book that a lot of successes I had were 00:04:12.620 --> 00:04:13.420 engineered 00:04:13.420 --> 00:04:16.700 by habits and choices I made that had consistency. 00:04:16.860 --> 00:04:21.340 That's what I call a science to satisfaction. I believe there is a science to satisfaction. 00:04:21.340 --> 00:04:27.260 I noticed what I was eating, who I was hanging out with, when I was going to bed, and what I how I was approaching the day. 00:04:27.975 --> 00:04:36.855 There were consistencies that led to times in my life where I had more joy and more success, was catching more green lights. Mhmm. I also noticed times where I was in a rut 00:04:37.255 --> 00:04:49.940 Mhmm. Through my journals of, oh, you veered from these tried and true habits that you had that were leading to success and giving you more green lights. Oh, let's get back in our lane over here. And sure enough, 00:04:50.660 --> 00:04:54.180 more success and green lights I started to create for myself. We 00:04:54.580 --> 00:04:55.540 also get 00:04:55.860 --> 00:04:56.820 those mystical 00:04:57.395 --> 00:04:59.315 green lights where we're just 00:04:59.715 --> 00:05:03.555 man, there's no reason, but there's a lot of rhyme. We met the right person, 00:05:04.035 --> 00:05:14.540 and damn it, if we'd, you know, left five minutes later or or thirty seconds earlier, we might not have met them. They might not be married with the family we have now or might not have got that job 00:05:14.780 --> 00:05:22.700 if we wouldn't have been just right there on that time crossing that person going through that door as they were coming out. So true. Those don't make any sense at the time. 00:05:23.100 --> 00:05:24.140 But when you look back, 00:05:25.265 --> 00:05:27.505 they connect the dots to right where we are. 00:05:28.385 --> 00:05:38.625 And that gets into more of the art of living. So that's why I call it the science of satisfaction leads to the art of living. And what we're gonna do on twenty fourth is try and get under the hood to go from the approach 00:05:39.380 --> 00:05:43.700 that I gave a lot of in green lights more into the process and tools 00:05:43.780 --> 00:05:44.340 that 00:05:44.660 --> 00:05:46.420 each of us can hopefully utilize 00:05:46.900 --> 00:05:48.260 in our own lives, 00:05:48.340 --> 00:05:55.785 particularly for you or anyone who's or anyone who's gonna tune in and say, oh, I recognize that. Yeah. Oh, 00:05:56.025 --> 00:05:57.465 that's an aberration. 00:05:57.625 --> 00:05:59.225 Uh, to engineer 00:05:59.305 --> 00:06:08.105 more green lights. Find that science so we can get better at the art of living. Man, I cannot wait for this event. We're gonna talk a little bit about this in a minute, you guys. But just remember this. Emliving.com. 00:06:08.105 --> 00:06:16.640 You just wanna participate. Trust me. Because you don't get you know, it's really rare. I'm so excited you've done done this and decided to step in even deeper than the book for this reason. 00:06:17.120 --> 00:06:34.875 Personal development self help a lot of times is sort of loaded with a lot of theory. Yep. And I love theory, so I've lived off a lot of these theories. But there's something powerful when someone's applied something in their life that gives it credibility that otherwise might not have because you can back it with a story or a fact or an anecdote. And that this industry is sometimes 00:06:35.350 --> 00:06:45.510 polluted to some extent with a lot of theoretical stuff that hasn't been proven in someone's real life, and you've done this in your real life. And one of the things you talk about with these green lights 00:06:45.830 --> 00:07:05.770 or even just having something happen that you and I are both Christians, but we also believe in energy and vibration and frequency and all that stuff. And I think when you're in that flow, that green light mode, there's a vibration to you. There's an energy to you that these things are sort of drawn your way, and you are in that flow state. And there's something so profound you said in the book about the story where you're living with this producer, 00:07:05.930 --> 00:07:27.475 and he basically you tell him, hey. I gotta get I gotta get an agent. I gotta get an agent. So you're kinda, like, chasing the green light. And he said, hey, man. You're not you need it. And you you paint this amazing distinction because I know it's been true in my life between need and want and why need is not a real good space to be in. So if you would if you tell them the story and then the lesson learned from it, it's awesome. 00:07:27.955 --> 00:07:28.595 Yeah. 00:07:29.715 --> 00:07:30.835 I get out 00:07:31.075 --> 00:07:38.240 to Hollywood with a couple thousand bucks in my pocket. I got a movie out, Days Confused, which is really the only resume I have. 00:07:39.280 --> 00:07:55.295 It's enough to get me in a few doors, but it's not enough to be a lead pipe cinch. Oh, you got a but I need an agent. I'm in Hollywood. I'm sleeping on this guy's couch, Don Phillips. The guy I met in a bar in Austin who gave me the chance to go audition for days and confused a year over a year earlier. I'm on his couch. 00:07:56.015 --> 00:08:02.335 My money's now into the three digits. I'm below a thousand bucks. I'm starting to get a little, like, I've been there a few weeks. I'm like, hey. I need I 00:08:02.960 --> 00:08:07.120 need need can you give me an agent meeting? And he snapped at me. I did. 00:08:08.480 --> 00:08:10.080 You need it too much. 00:08:10.560 --> 00:08:17.840 This this industry, Hollywood smells knee here one and done, buddy. What you need to do is get the hell out of here. 00:08:18.615 --> 00:08:28.375 Go with your buddies and go ride motorcycles somewhere. Hell, pick Europe. I don't care. But go somewhere till you quit needing it so much because if Hollywood smells you needing it, you're you're done. You're never in. 00:08:29.415 --> 00:08:36.980 And I did. I put on a backpack with my $800, and I went off with my two good buddies, Roy Cochran, Gauza, and we rode motorcycles to Europe. I came back. 00:08:37.460 --> 00:08:47.105 I wasn't even thinking about an agent. I was what he called, now you're cool again. Now you're cool. And I was rolling along, and he's about a week later after I returned, 00:08:48.385 --> 00:08:54.225 we're sitting there at dinner. He always made filet mignon and then had a scoop of Haagen Dazs ice cream 00:08:54.705 --> 00:09:01.380 for for dessert. Oh, he's done he's since moved on. I love talking about him. And he goes, you're ready. And I go, for what? 00:09:01.860 --> 00:09:05.380 And he goes, tomorrow morning, we got a meeting. William Morris. 00:09:05.700 --> 00:09:06.820 You're gonna go down. 00:09:07.300 --> 00:09:09.060 And I was like, oh, cool. 00:09:09.380 --> 00:09:35.380 Now five weeks earlier, if he'd said that, I would've been like, okay. Good. Good, man. I got this. Okay. I need I would've gone into the meeting. They would've smelt my need. They would've felt my need. I'd have leaned outside of myself. I would've oversold myself and probably dorked out and used too many words and not have been myself and overleveraged myself, and they'd have been like, I'm not sure this guy's really you know, he's kinda wants it too needs it too much. And instead, I went in, 00:09:35.940 --> 00:09:38.340 believed in myself, had a present about me, 00:09:39.300 --> 00:09:44.020 you know, didn't oversell myself, but really let them know, no. I actually think you need me 00:09:45.165 --> 00:09:46.285 as an agent. 00:09:47.165 --> 00:09:47.965 And 00:09:48.605 --> 00:09:50.285 that made me a more 00:09:50.765 --> 00:09:56.045 valuable asset to them. I got an agent, and then I damn it. If I my first two auditions 00:09:56.365 --> 00:09:57.245 in Hollywood 00:09:58.150 --> 00:09:59.430 from that agent, 00:09:59.510 --> 00:10:02.470 I got the job. Did she really? Yeah. 00:10:03.670 --> 00:10:17.765 That's see, don't you think like, I think that's that's a Hollywood story, but it's not. Like, if you're having a hard time finding the relationship that you want, everybody's been on that date with that person that just seems to need it a little too much. Or the salesperson, 00:10:17.765 --> 00:10:24.405 like, man, everything's good, your need to sell me is getting in the way of me buying it from you. We can smell the solicit. 00:10:25.060 --> 00:10:28.820 Yes. And nobody likes the smell. We all love a good salesman, 00:10:29.060 --> 00:10:37.860 but it's like the difference between a bullshit or a liar. A bullshit at least kinda winks at you while they're while they're telling the tale to let you know, hey. Just go with me. And there's something that 00:10:38.580 --> 00:10:46.775 adorable about that. Right? Yes. Yes. You see someone that needs and this is this goes for my love story with my wife, Camilla. 00:10:47.015 --> 00:10:50.935 Mhmm. When I met her, when I saw her move across the room that night, 00:10:51.335 --> 00:10:51.575 I 00:10:53.120 --> 00:10:57.680 I had just come to a place spiritually where I was like, you know what, Matthew? 00:10:58.240 --> 00:10:59.920 Your dream is to be a father. 00:11:01.280 --> 00:11:02.400 You may not 00:11:03.920 --> 00:11:04.640 get married, 00:11:05.305 --> 00:11:09.465 You may have kids. Now something about the that dream 00:11:09.705 --> 00:11:16.585 and my relationship with God, there was a grace of God saying, that's okay if that happens. So for the first time in my life, I was like, 00:11:18.030 --> 00:11:22.030 it's not ideal, but I will be okay with that spiritually. 00:11:22.030 --> 00:11:24.590 And as soon as that happened, I went from this 00:11:25.150 --> 00:11:29.870 looking for her at every damn red light in the produce section, 00:11:30.515 --> 00:11:46.560 everybody I met. Maybe. Maybe. I was I was I was hunting. I was needing. I was looking for that mate. Was it near near as attractive? As soon as it came to me, like, you may not meet her. And can you be okay with that with yourself, Matthew, and and spiritually? 00:11:46.880 --> 00:11:47.440 Mhmm. 00:11:47.840 --> 00:11:53.120 And soon as I was okay with that, I I had a present. I was now able to receive 00:11:53.520 --> 00:12:03.245 Yeah. Love from somebody. I was able to see somebody, and they let them see me. And that's when I'm that's when she showed up. That's when she came into my life. When I quit hunting. 00:12:03.405 --> 00:12:19.730 When I quit rubbernecking at every red light. I'm looking like, maybe the girl next to me. Maybe that's her. Yep. You You know, I gotta tell you, it's one of those really invisible subtle things that most people don't have any appreciation for is what he's telling you right now, everybody. I'm telling you right now, that need thing is repelling. 00:12:19.810 --> 00:12:24.290 There's some type of energy that just doesn't work. I'm curious about you, though, because 00:12:25.170 --> 00:12:39.035 you're a pretty good looking man, number one, and you've had some notoriety. I don't know if you're aware of this or not, and a and a little bit of financial success in your life as well. And so it's interesting to me that you were looking like that when you have all the options in the world, number one. 00:12:39.800 --> 00:12:56.545 But number two, that it seems to me, brother, that family, your marriage, and your children are such a giant priority from you. And this is something I wanted to ask you. It's really not a lot in the there's parts of this in the book, but there's something I wanted to know about you because a lot of times what we see in our life, we end up modeling. 00:12:56.865 --> 00:13:06.945 So I'm reading about you, and I'm like, woah. This dude grew up in a I'm sure he was a loving fan, but is it interesting damn family you grew up in. Yeah. Am I right that your parents were married three times? 00:13:07.580 --> 00:13:09.420 Married three times, divorced twice. 00:13:09.740 --> 00:13:17.740 Did y'all just hear that right now? So it'd been pretty easy for you to kinda model. I assume that meant there was some chaos happening. Oh, hell yeah. Right? 00:13:17.740 --> 00:13:33.035 So, like, share a little bit of that. And then are you, like, conscious of being the antithesis of that? And and because I think that's an important thing in life. Like Yeah. My dad was an alcoholic. My dad got sober. My dad was an alcoholic, though. And there's a lot of chaos in my life. And I remember when I started to have a family, like, want 00:13:33.710 --> 00:13:43.710 peace in our home. I want we're gonna talk a little bit in a while about joy because I love that word you used, but I was conscious of sort of trying to create that which didn't exist in my home. Were you? 00:13:45.965 --> 00:13:47.885 Good question. Because 00:13:48.685 --> 00:13:49.725 I don't 00:13:50.605 --> 00:13:52.525 ever remember consciously 00:13:52.765 --> 00:13:55.485 thinking I want to push away 00:13:55.965 --> 00:13:56.845 from that. 00:13:57.820 --> 00:14:04.540 And and remind me to come back to this line because I wanna tell you a story about my mother and why my mother was such a good mother. K. She 00:14:05.100 --> 00:14:06.300 had a stepmother 00:14:06.780 --> 00:14:07.740 who was horrific. 00:14:09.675 --> 00:14:17.035 Not one bit of good mother. My mom didn't know how to be a mom. All she did is goes, I want to be the opposite of that, 00:14:17.595 --> 00:14:24.075 and she became a great mom. Now I didn't consciously ever think, oh, I don't wanna do it how mom and dad do. I did say, 00:14:25.930 --> 00:14:47.905 I'm not looking for that many tidal waves. I'd like a little bit smoother running stream in my relationship. My mom, to this day, if you're having a civil, cool conversation where all voices are nice and low and everyone's kumbaya and getting along, Fifteen minutes of that, bore my mama. Mama will throw a wrench in the situation just to, hey. Hey. Hey. Spice it up. She's still that way, she's 91. 00:14:48.145 --> 00:14:48.625 That 00:14:49.105 --> 00:14:51.185 was her and my dad's relationship. 00:14:51.745 --> 00:14:58.950 They were physical, divorced twice, married three times. What I took from that was, hey. Guess what? Love one, three to two. 00:15:00.150 --> 00:15:04.310 Mhmm. That's what I got from it. And I took from it, I don't need to 00:15:05.165 --> 00:15:14.765 get divorced and and and married twice for a loved one. I wanna get I'd to get married once, and let's just let's roll with that. And do my mom and dad 00:15:15.565 --> 00:15:17.005 you know, I'm I'm much more 00:15:17.890 --> 00:15:25.090 if I have to raise my voice, I immediately have a trigger that goes off my mind that says, MacConnie, what did you not handle for it to get to this point? 00:15:25.570 --> 00:15:29.090 Now my mom and dad raised their voice a couple times a week, 00:15:29.650 --> 00:15:36.685 and that was just part of the conversation. It was like the stereotype of Italians. It was always big in hands and big 00:15:37.165 --> 00:15:42.205 and loud, and that's just how they communicated. And my mom to this day would say, no. That's what I needed to communicate. 00:15:43.165 --> 00:15:44.605 There were no regrets. So I 00:15:45.370 --> 00:15:56.650 we never had a question if we were loved. I never had a question if my mom loved my dad, my dad loved my mom. I did say, I'm not looking for that rocky of a road. Yeah. Yeah. I'd rather not. 00:15:57.050 --> 00:16:02.345 Unfortunately, Camilla was someone who was not looking for that either. And little known fact, 00:16:02.745 --> 00:16:06.105 Camilla's parents, my wife now, were married twice, 00:16:06.345 --> 00:16:08.985 divorced three times. Come on, man. 00:16:09.225 --> 00:16:11.065 They ended up on the divorce side. 00:16:11.705 --> 00:16:13.545 What are the odds of that, though? Like, 00:16:15.530 --> 00:16:21.130 couples usually don't get married more than one time. Then you then one marriage between the two of you, there's 00:16:22.010 --> 00:16:22.650 There's 00:16:23.130 --> 00:16:24.170 marriages 00:16:24.410 --> 00:16:25.050 and 00:16:25.690 --> 00:16:26.890 five divorces. 00:16:26.890 --> 00:16:27.690 Same 00:16:28.010 --> 00:16:29.610 married couple. That's bananas. 00:16:30.405 --> 00:16:32.005 That is literally bananas. 00:16:32.165 --> 00:16:45.605 What did you you wanted to say something about your mom being a good mom. You wanted to make sure you made a reference to that. Well, that was it. That she she learned you know, we again, process of elimination, what we started off talking about. Yeah. It's not it's not always what you go to 00:16:46.190 --> 00:16:52.670 affirmatively and play offense. It's a lot of times what are we pushing against in defense to get our identity. My mom eliminated, 00:16:52.670 --> 00:16:53.230 well, 00:16:53.550 --> 00:16:56.670 I don't know how to be a mom, but I know I wanna be the opposite 00:16:57.150 --> 00:17:02.405 of that lady who raised me is what she said, who was a non grata mom. 00:17:02.725 --> 00:17:03.765 And so 00:17:04.725 --> 00:17:12.805 to this day, my mom didn't know what to do. She just said I'm doing the opposite of what how her mom treated her, and that turned out to be being a great mom. 00:17:13.400 --> 00:17:18.360 Do you think that you know, I I was reading your stuff, and I'm like because I talk a lot about happiness. 00:17:19.080 --> 00:17:26.600 In fact, my podcast is out today is about happiness. This Harvard study, longest study in the history of mankind. Eighty five year study. They took a thousand 00:17:26.925 --> 00:17:31.565 privileged kids from Harvard University, a thousand young boys same age from South Boston, 00:17:31.725 --> 00:17:33.005 underprivileged families, 00:17:33.325 --> 00:17:43.660 and they studied them for eighty five years. A fascinating study about who ended up happier and, you know, who lived longer and whose well-being and what made them happy. Actually, one of the kids in the study was JFK. 00:17:43.900 --> 00:17:49.180 No joke. It's an amazing, amazing study. It's worth listening to. However, it's around happiness. 00:17:49.660 --> 00:17:51.820 And you make this distinction. 00:17:51.900 --> 00:17:55.900 This is why your work it's really unique. You make this distinction between joy 00:17:56.585 --> 00:18:12.600 and happiness. Right. And and I have never heard this before in my life. To me, they've sort of been very similar things. But you correlate happiness almost to, like, we get happiness if we done something, whereas joy can be present in any talk about that for a second. This is awesome. 00:18:12.840 --> 00:18:14.040 So happiness, 00:18:14.600 --> 00:18:16.120 as most of us are 00:18:17.560 --> 00:18:18.360 taught 00:18:18.600 --> 00:18:22.040 or most of us see it, myself included, 00:18:23.000 --> 00:18:24.440 is result oriented. 00:18:24.760 --> 00:18:25.320 If then, 00:18:26.425 --> 00:18:28.905 If I get this, then I will be 00:18:29.305 --> 00:18:29.945 happy. 00:18:30.265 --> 00:18:31.145 If 00:18:31.465 --> 00:18:34.425 I reach this goal, then I will be 00:18:34.745 --> 00:18:37.865 happy. It's almost like a ta da moment. 00:18:38.025 --> 00:18:41.145 If I get enlightened in spirit, then I will be 00:18:42.780 --> 00:18:45.260 damastha, whatever it is. And over 00:18:45.260 --> 00:18:52.220 and over in my own life and from other mentors and wise men and women in the world, there's no ta da moment. 00:18:53.020 --> 00:18:56.140 There's no hill that you get to the top of and you go, 00:18:56.935 --> 00:18:58.375 ah, finally, 00:18:58.535 --> 00:19:02.215 I did it. Because what do you see once you get to the top? 00:19:02.455 --> 00:19:04.935 A thousand other hills or another 00:19:05.335 --> 00:19:19.680 one that's taller that you're like, oh. So you immediately upgrade your iOS of happiness, and you project it into the future again for another hill to climb. So it's it's a moving target that you that you're constantly chasing. Now I'm all for the chase 00:19:20.080 --> 00:19:25.840 and the setting of goals to go reach and the writing of headlines early to tell your story towards that. But 00:19:26.845 --> 00:19:28.685 what I've noticed is joy 00:19:28.685 --> 00:19:30.285 is more the verb. 00:19:30.685 --> 00:19:34.685 Joy is the the the the the the doing of what we're fashioned to do 00:19:35.085 --> 00:19:37.805 and enjoying the process of the doing. 00:19:38.880 --> 00:19:39.520 And 00:19:39.760 --> 00:19:42.320 if we can get out of our mind that 00:19:42.800 --> 00:19:44.320 there is a finish line 00:19:46.080 --> 00:20:01.515 and and just enjoy the race, chase ourselves in this race and go, the best we can do is get to the end of this life and say look back and go, well, I didn't make it to the top, but how many stairs did I ascend? Or how wide did my stairs reach? Or how deep did my roots grow? 00:20:01.915 --> 00:20:02.715 Just 00:20:02.795 --> 00:20:10.950 hally it up. Hopefully, we're in the we're in the black. Hopefully, we're in the asset. And if there's life after this, hopefully, the prime mover's going, 00:20:11.430 --> 00:20:14.790 well done. But, I mean, that I think that's as good as it gets. 00:20:14.950 --> 00:20:18.870 It's that it's that it's it's my problem with extra credit today. 00:20:19.190 --> 00:20:21.910 4.2 GPAs and participation trophies. 00:20:21.910 --> 00:20:26.975 No. 100, the top is as good as it gets. There's no such thing as a 110%. 00:20:27.135 --> 00:20:28.895 Maybe we ought to bring back d's 00:20:28.975 --> 00:20:34.815 in school. You know what I mean? It's like You're right. And, like, if we're gonna if we can make 00:20:35.615 --> 00:20:36.895 a b plus 00:20:37.470 --> 00:20:40.190 in this life, that's damn good. 00:20:40.830 --> 00:20:48.030 Or if we can get but we're never gonna make we're never gonna get perfection. We're never gonna reach a 100. We're never gonna reach the top of that staircase, 00:20:48.190 --> 00:20:52.510 and that is what we call happiness that we keep bumping forward. But if we can enjoy 00:20:53.285 --> 00:20:54.965 the process along the way, 00:20:56.165 --> 00:20:57.205 I find 00:20:57.205 --> 00:20:58.405 that you don't 00:20:58.645 --> 00:20:59.365 reach 00:20:59.765 --> 00:21:02.725 lower levels than if you just chased happiness. 00:21:02.965 --> 00:21:05.365 You actually reached the same levels or more, 00:21:05.605 --> 00:21:07.525 and you had a pretty damn good time on the way. 00:21:08.320 --> 00:21:12.720 So true. I gotta tell you, man. That is wisdom. I, uh, 00:21:13.120 --> 00:21:17.760 I think I figured out a version of that, but I wasn't I'm 52 next month. I didn't 00:21:18.480 --> 00:21:20.240 it took me till my forties. 00:21:20.480 --> 00:21:23.440 And I'm like, wow. This finish line keeps freaking moving. 00:21:24.295 --> 00:21:33.175 It keeps moving. Like, no. Once I've got this or once I got a jet or I'm living at the beach or I've got this award or this many people know me, and it kept moving. 00:21:33.575 --> 00:21:35.495 And I'm like, this is insane. 00:21:36.055 --> 00:21:46.640 When I and and to your point, when I started to give myself the gift of I thought, man, if I don't keep moving the finish line, I'm gonna lose my I'm gonna lose my drive. So this thing, even though it hasn't brought me a lot of bliss in my life, 00:21:46.960 --> 00:21:52.975 it sure keeps me driven and hungry. Yeah. And if I let go of this finish line mentality, 00:21:53.215 --> 00:21:54.895 if when I get their thing, 00:21:55.135 --> 00:22:05.090 I'll lose my drive and ambition. And to your point, I couldn't have been more wrong because when I started to give myself the gift of joy in my home, in my life, in my emotions on a daily basis, 00:22:05.330 --> 00:22:08.050 I actually found I had more energy 00:22:08.370 --> 00:22:14.290 to pursue the achievements that I want in my life. And I wasn't so damn tired every time I finally got to one of these artificial finish lines. 00:22:14.775 --> 00:22:16.215 Amen. And, 00:22:16.295 --> 00:22:18.055 you know, I hear you on your forties. 00:22:18.215 --> 00:22:23.655 Forties were a great customizing decade for me too where I actually learned to trust. 00:22:24.055 --> 00:22:27.895 Hey, buddy. If you if if you quit pursuing that actual result, 00:22:29.470 --> 00:22:39.950 you're not gonna lose your work ethic. You're not gonna lose your drive. You're not gonna lose your want to. It's just gonna be more natural through the day. It'll actually be more instinctual. And as you say, you don't reach it and go 00:22:41.325 --> 00:22:45.085 You gotta get up there, and you're kinda going, oh, is this it? It's it's the old 00:22:45.565 --> 00:22:51.005 who what's the best round of golf you play? Say you're 10 handicap, and you and you're and you're you're and you're five 00:22:51.405 --> 00:22:53.085 over on 16 tee box. 00:22:54.120 --> 00:22:58.200 You're shoot a better round if you don't look at the scorecard. It's so true. 00:22:58.360 --> 00:23:01.000 Better round when you're walking off of 18 00:23:01.240 --> 00:23:07.960 Yep. Heading towards the next tee box, and someone has to remind you, no, dude. Round's over. Yes. You know, I found it in my career. 00:23:08.705 --> 00:23:09.825 When I started 00:23:10.625 --> 00:23:16.385 I had a little six year run there and even with Dallas Buyers Club, I was not chasing result. 00:23:16.945 --> 00:23:20.705 I was like, f the results, man. I'm my head's down in the process, 00:23:21.800 --> 00:23:29.560 and let the results be. I got more results when I quit chasing the result. I didn't lose my drive. I worked as hard. I worked definitely worked smarter. 00:23:29.720 --> 00:23:33.480 There's a great example in that Jared Leto who won 00:23:33.960 --> 00:23:38.205 academy for best sporting actor in that. Guess when he and I met? 00:23:38.685 --> 00:23:39.405 With? 00:23:41.165 --> 00:23:44.765 Rap of shooting on the set the last day. That's a wrap. 00:23:46.445 --> 00:24:09.475 We were he was the character. I was Ron. He was Rayon. We Yeah. When we we we said hello is Ron or Rayon when we met two weeks before we started filming. We filmed for five weeks. All of a sudden, they reeled rap that night, and he and I looked at the idea and said, okay. See you tomorrow. And the dude was like, no. No. No. That's a film rap. There is no tomorrow. Wow. And I stopped and looked over, and Jared stopped and looked at me, and I walked up, and I went, 00:24:09.795 --> 00:24:10.675 McConaughey. 00:24:10.675 --> 00:24:11.475 And he goes, 00:24:11.875 --> 00:24:16.115 Jared, nice to meet you. Come on. Both just head down in the process. 00:24:16.850 --> 00:24:17.650 So 00:24:18.130 --> 00:24:28.130 not only so not only are you separating from what the outcome is, you separate from a lot of different things. That is bananas. You so you separate from outcome and kinda, like, 00:24:29.165 --> 00:24:33.245 given a crap about what they think also. Like like, 00:24:34.045 --> 00:24:44.600 that's a really hard thing for most people in our culture today where everything is supposed to be validated. Did this post get a like? Did it not get a like? Did it you know, this obsession 00:24:44.600 --> 00:25:07.105 almost with what people are thinking about I actually think the result obsession is a what people think about me obsession. Like, I work with some PGA guys and their fear of missing a putt. And I'm like, you're not really afraid of missing the putt. You're even afraid of losing the tournament. You're actually afraid of what people are gonna think about the fact that you missed this putt that you're supposed to be making. This obsession with what are they gonna think, 00:25:07.505 --> 00:25:12.290 I think also causes us to hyperfocus on the result because we want them to think good things about us. 00:25:12.610 --> 00:25:12.930 We 00:25:13.570 --> 00:25:16.610 society has us living in the third person. 00:25:17.250 --> 00:25:18.450 We're all 00:25:19.250 --> 00:25:28.395 running we're we're we're pulling Leon Letts in the Super Bowl. We're we're we're returning the kickoff for a touchdown, looking at the jumbotron 00:25:28.555 --> 00:25:34.155 at the 50, wondering if we're gonna make it on sports center best place. And that's just when we get tackled from behind, 00:25:34.395 --> 00:25:36.955 when we quit behaving and just doing 00:25:37.350 --> 00:25:42.950 the behavior of the process and taking the action that we're doing. I look. When when I'm 00:25:43.030 --> 00:25:48.710 doing it, and I think when most people are doing it and in the joy of the process and head down, it's a vacation 00:25:48.870 --> 00:25:49.750 because 00:25:49.990 --> 00:25:51.510 it's solely subjective. 00:25:52.985 --> 00:25:55.145 It is I'm on an island. 00:25:55.465 --> 00:25:57.625 It is literally a vacation 00:25:57.865 --> 00:26:09.990 to have a singular obsession when you're doing that thing. Now I understand it's a privilege. I have a wife who when I go out to go out the door every day to work, she tells me, I got the kids. Don't look over your shoulder. Go kick ass. 00:26:10.790 --> 00:26:22.390 That's a privilege. I get I I understand that. But when we're taking an action, we have to do it or to do it with pleasure and enjoy and stay in the present of the action. It's again, it's the 00:26:22.795 --> 00:26:37.115 the joy is if you bump the finish line almost to an unreachable place. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you bump it you know, Bo Jackson didn't just run across the goal line. He ran across the goal line and through the tunnel. Tunnel. And, I mean, snipers don't aim at the target. They aim on the other side. 00:26:37.600 --> 00:26:39.200 Therefore, you never choke 00:26:39.680 --> 00:26:50.415 Yeah. When you're on the goal line, so to speak, because you're like, no. The finish line's way down there. And all of a sudden, someone has to tell you, no. You crossed the goal line. You scored. You're like, oh, I did. I was gonna I thought we had to go another 40 Now 00:26:51.775 --> 00:26:58.575 you're on to something right there, brother. That's that whole concept that when they wrapped shooting, you're like, we're wrapped? Right. I'm coming back tomorrow. 00:26:58.735 --> 00:27:02.015 Yeah. Yeah. I gotta tell you. I think what it gives you maybe is freedom. 00:27:02.710 --> 00:27:10.230 I think there's a free it's a freedom when you're totally immersed in a process and not so concerned about results or outcomes. It creates a freedom. 00:27:10.550 --> 00:27:25.525 And then that science, you can actually navigate in an art form when you're in it. I think that allows the art to sort of take over the energy, the whatever it is when you're totally free. So I've been talking for a long time here on the show about the fact that I've been really working on my Spanish, and I just took a trip to Mexico 00:27:25.685 --> 00:27:37.040 the last few weeks. I went on a speaking tour down there with John Maxwell, and I got a chance to really see whether or not I've improved. I gotta tell you, thanks to Babbel, my Spanish is pretty darn good. I was able to order in restaurants, communicate with people, 00:27:37.440 --> 00:27:51.955 even had a great time at a cigar lounge chopping it up with a bunch of people speaking Spanish, thanks to Babbel. And one of the reasons I love Babbel is you have to spend hundreds of dollars on some professional tutor, and their lessons are only ten minutes long crafted by about 200 different language experts. 00:27:52.115 --> 00:28:03.470 They're very easy to learn, and you're gonna be making improvements right away. I really recommend you try Babbel. So here's a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription, 00:28:03.550 --> 00:28:07.630 but only for our listeners at babbel.com/mylette. 00:28:07.630 --> 00:28:11.630 Get up to 60% off at babbel.com/mylette, 00:28:11.630 --> 00:28:16.590 spelled babbel, babbel.com/mylette. 00:28:16.855 --> 00:28:19.815 Rules and restrictions may apply. Please visit babble.com 00:28:19.815 --> 00:28:51.285 for details. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp, and I'm grateful that it is. I gotta tell you, you know, I get asked all the time. What's the one thing that most of the guests that have been on this show have in common? I could tell you they're all from different backgrounds. Some of them are tall. Some of them are are short. Some of them are from The US. Some of them are from abroad, different ethnic backgrounds, religious backgrounds, you name it. But I gotta tell you, most of them been to therapy, and I'm a big believer in therapy. I think that whether you've got some real trauma you gotta work through in your life or, you know, you just got a problem you wanna work on right now, maybe just wanna talk out loud about some issues you got or find a better quality of emotions. 00:28:51.525 --> 00:29:13.450 Big believer in therapy, and I love BetterHelp. I love BetterHelp because number one, it's done online. Number two, if you get a therapist, you don't vibe with them. You can switch at any given time that you want to. It's a wonderful way to go to therapy, and I really believe it can help you if you have things that you want help with. So decide today. You're gonna give BetterHelp a shot, and stop comparing and start focusing with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/edshow 00:29:13.575 --> 00:29:20.935 today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, help.com/edshow. 00:29:21.015 --> 00:29:27.335 You were saying before we started though, it was four years ago that we did our show. Mhmm. And that at the time when we were doing the show, 00:29:28.140 --> 00:29:47.605 there were a lot of theoretical things that you talked about on that show that you believed in that you were implementing into your life. And now you're like, now I have some data to really validate some of the stuff that I believe in. So what are some of those things that like you said on the show and you're like, and now I'm seeing in real life the results from those things. Yeah. You know, I think the most profound one was 00:29:47.605 --> 00:29:53.205 really about sort of what I really discovered and talked a lot about in 2018, 00:29:53.205 --> 00:30:04.180 we did the show was that life is about this pursuit of the ideal version of yourself. Mhmm. Right? And and this has been something you've talked about forever where it's it's this idea of, 00:30:05.300 --> 00:30:06.980 you know, putting out into 00:30:07.780 --> 00:30:08.820 the future 00:30:09.140 --> 00:30:19.455 what you wanna become and then building a plan and strategy and put in all the energy and effort to go and achieve it. Right? And you will grow into that person over time. And so that pursuit, 00:30:19.855 --> 00:30:22.815 we talked a lot about as being really important. 00:30:22.895 --> 00:30:23.375 And 00:30:23.775 --> 00:30:30.720 and I was talking a lot about it from the business lens and and doing it from a balanced perspective. 00:30:30.720 --> 00:30:31.200 Yeah. 00:30:32.160 --> 00:30:40.985 What happened for me in in that conversation is it led to what happens when you reach that person. Mhmm. And I made the comment of, 00:30:41.385 --> 00:30:45.625 I think, like, when you eventually get to the ideal version of yourself 00:30:45.865 --> 00:30:48.985 that you sort of settle in to sort of a rhythm 00:30:49.785 --> 00:30:55.130 and you and your pursuit wouldn't quite be the same. And within four years, 00:30:56.250 --> 00:30:57.370 I achieved 00:30:57.370 --> 00:31:00.410 all of the goals that I set in 2016 00:31:00.410 --> 00:31:01.530 and became 00:31:01.850 --> 00:31:07.450 the ideal version of myself. So I actually rather than guessed at what would happen 00:31:07.955 --> 00:31:12.275 to me when I finally reached the ideal version of myself, 00:31:12.595 --> 00:31:17.395 I actually experienced it. And what was so profound for me is 00:31:17.635 --> 00:31:19.395 since you grow into 00:31:19.970 --> 00:31:21.490 your ideal self, 00:31:21.890 --> 00:31:27.330 you're growing along the way and as you learn more and see you begin to see further, 00:31:27.570 --> 00:31:29.890 so the ideal version of yourself 00:31:30.290 --> 00:31:31.090 is 00:31:31.170 --> 00:31:34.605 always off in the distance and it's not about 00:31:35.325 --> 00:31:39.165 ever ending the game and that you're there. It's actually 00:31:39.485 --> 00:31:45.805 the pleasure and the the actual joy that you get from living is in that pursuit. 00:31:46.490 --> 00:31:52.490 The difference was is I learned to control that pursuit and grew in a systematic harmonious 00:31:52.490 --> 00:31:53.130 way 00:31:53.370 --> 00:31:55.050 and then grew beyond 00:31:55.450 --> 00:32:00.325 what my ideal version at that time would become because 00:32:00.325 --> 00:32:05.205 I grew into a completely different person by the time I got there. Do you guys all get it now? 00:32:06.005 --> 00:32:12.165 See what I'm talking about? Took four minutes and there you get it. So his wife's my dude to talk to. He is 00:32:13.220 --> 00:32:13.860 special. 00:32:14.580 --> 00:32:17.380 The success that he's had in his life isn't by mistake. 00:32:17.700 --> 00:32:25.780 And I'm not just talking about his financial or television success, I'm talking about kind of father he is, kind of friend he is, kind of husband he is. None of this is by mistake. 00:32:26.405 --> 00:32:32.245 In my life, um, I have some really brilliant entrepreneur friends, and I have some really brilliant personal development friends. 00:32:32.405 --> 00:32:39.445 I don't know anybody with the combination of both like you. I don't. One of the things I'm learning from you, I wanna go right to some of your stuff. 00:32:41.420 --> 00:32:43.580 I'm a work lots of hours guy. 00:32:43.740 --> 00:32:47.180 I'm a pound it. Let's go grind bingo. 00:32:47.180 --> 00:32:47.820 And 00:32:48.140 --> 00:32:51.900 you're like, hey, that's not exactly how it works bro. 00:32:52.300 --> 00:32:53.100 Hey, 00:32:54.140 --> 00:32:55.420 there's a there's a better way. 00:32:56.145 --> 00:33:13.400 And so why don't you share with us the better way? What your theory about hours and time and and and also the value of a minute, the value of time. Yeah. It's it it it's funny because, you know, I'm you know, sometimes I'll, you know, I'll watch your stories and it's like, I don't feel like going today, 00:33:13.640 --> 00:33:15.560 but I gotta get up and I gotta make it happen. 00:33:16.440 --> 00:33:24.360 And I'm like, man, why you don't feel like why why are why are you putting yourself in a position where you don't feel like going today? You know what I mean? Like, that's It's fair. 00:33:24.760 --> 00:33:29.805 You know, because, you know, I almost like to look at myself I've evolved into, like, a blend of 00:33:30.125 --> 00:33:31.485 sad guru, 00:33:32.205 --> 00:33:34.685 Ray Dalio, and and 00:33:36.285 --> 00:33:38.445 who's the great the the good doctor 00:33:38.650 --> 00:33:48.410 that's tapped into the quantum field are Dispenza. Dispenza. I I'm basically a combination of of Woah. All three of those. Woah. Dalio, Dispenza, and Sadguru. 00:33:48.410 --> 00:33:52.010 Right. Like that. That's 00:33:51.705 --> 00:33:52.505 the 00:33:52.505 --> 00:33:57.945 best combo ever. Look. When I think about what's intersected through me, it's that analytical, 00:33:57.945 --> 00:34:02.505 like, data driven side of Dalio. It's the tap into the quantum field of Dispenza, 00:34:02.505 --> 00:34:13.690 and it's the, hey, the reality you experience today is based off of every action decision that you have made in the past that is the sad guru sort of karma concept. Right? 00:34:15.210 --> 00:34:16.250 And to me, 00:34:16.815 --> 00:34:20.735 you know, if you wanna have a truly rich fulfilling life, 00:34:20.895 --> 00:34:30.175 you you have to find joy in every part of it. And in order to do that, you have got to to use your time with absolute intention. 00:34:30.335 --> 00:34:50.055 And so for me, it's it's everybody knows that. Mhmm. It's the only resource you got. It's the only resource that's limited, man. You're you're locked up. And and for me Is that your impression of me? No. That was, like, a middle middle ground for me. You know what I'm saying? When but it's I was halfway in it. I was halfway in it. You know? I push you towards, like, a wrestler voice. You know what I mean? 00:34:51.495 --> 00:34:52.375 But I'm 00:34:52.935 --> 00:34:57.575 when I started tracking all of my time Mhmm. My life changed. 00:34:57.895 --> 00:35:07.130 Right? Because it's like I I used to design what I called the rhythm of existence. Right? So I I built the rhythm of existence in 2015, 00:35:07.130 --> 00:35:23.245 which was essentially the operating system for my life. And so it had all these these principles had all these things that I would do with my time, and then I would create a rhythm of the year, like when all the constants were and when the variables would happen. Your life flows around weekends, 00:35:23.245 --> 00:35:24.045 holidays, 00:35:24.045 --> 00:35:26.790 birthdays. It has this cadence that you can build 00:35:27.270 --> 00:35:43.715 sort of your time around that you can get better and better at predicting how to use your time more efficiently. But boy, I started tracking all of it. I would just, you know, I plan a lot of it and then I would be highly adaptive and adjust it. But the thing that I started doing every day 00:35:44.675 --> 00:35:47.475 is just tagging every hour and what did I do. 00:35:47.795 --> 00:35:51.315 And I eventually found somebody in 2020 00:35:51.315 --> 00:36:00.290 that heard me talk about it and came in and and wrote a script that went into my Google Calendar that pumped that thing out into a dashboard. And 00:36:00.610 --> 00:36:02.450 now I could see 00:36:02.850 --> 00:36:05.970 how I used my time on a weekly, 00:36:05.970 --> 00:36:06.770 monthly, 00:36:06.770 --> 00:36:09.045 yearly basis by hour 00:36:09.285 --> 00:36:10.565 and by 00:36:11.285 --> 00:36:12.165 percentage. 00:36:12.165 --> 00:36:14.085 Mhmm. And so that that 00:36:14.085 --> 00:36:16.485 began to create this really 00:36:16.485 --> 00:36:18.005 interesting clarity 00:36:18.245 --> 00:36:23.300 as it related to, like, the time matrix from a percentage standpoint. If you have 00:36:23.620 --> 00:36:31.540 eight thousand seven hundred and sixty hours in the year and you do something for three sixty five days a year for one hour, 00:36:31.860 --> 00:36:34.785 it's 4% of your life. Right? If you, 00:36:35.665 --> 00:36:39.105 you know, sleep seven hours, it's like, you know, 28% 00:36:39.105 --> 00:36:46.705 of your life. You know, if you work a forty hour a week, it's it's 23% of your life. So I began to see the structure of this time 00:36:47.025 --> 00:36:48.385 and 00:36:47.920 --> 00:36:55.280 as you begin to understand and design it against how you wanna use it, you begin to question its efficacy. 00:36:55.280 --> 00:37:04.015 How high of efficacy are you using with this actual time? And then when you decide to do something, you start thinking about it in second and third order consequences. 00:37:04.175 --> 00:37:07.695 Right? Because we'll get excited about an idea that we wanna do 00:37:07.935 --> 00:37:11.935 and we just think about the idea of this. We don't think about 00:37:12.255 --> 00:37:20.980 the time, energy, and mental capacity that it'll take from, and then the long tail of that. Because once we commit to something, what happens? 00:37:21.540 --> 00:37:26.260 We could be trapped by it. Right? And if it ends up taking way more time, like, 00:37:26.900 --> 00:37:28.740 it could end up being detrimental 00:37:28.740 --> 00:37:34.675 to your overall well-being and your balance in your in your mind. Right? So for me, as I 00:37:35.075 --> 00:37:38.435 began to do all that and really look at the time matrix, 00:37:38.755 --> 00:37:47.710 I began to put value on on every bit of that time. Yeah. And then I began to assess that time by how did it make me feel qualitatively. 00:37:47.950 --> 00:37:49.630 Yep. And that then 00:37:49.870 --> 00:37:54.990 began to make me continually adjust how I designed the time. Because what I realized is 00:37:55.230 --> 00:38:03.685 what's happening, the world's changing, you're changing at all times. You're evolving, everything around you is evolving. So you can't just make one great schedule 00:38:03.845 --> 00:38:09.525 and there you go, you did it. You have a perfect time time management skills. Like, you constantly 00:38:09.525 --> 00:38:13.685 need to be adjusting how you use time and the value of that time and and 00:38:13.990 --> 00:38:23.430 and how you see you should spend that on an ongoing basis or on an ad hoc basis, like and you have to continually design it better and better over time. And what I did 00:38:24.070 --> 00:38:27.990 was grow the skill set Yeah. Of continually 00:38:27.990 --> 00:38:35.905 optimizing time and assessing it and redesigning it that allowed me to get more and more efficient Yep. So I could go from, 00:38:36.545 --> 00:38:38.305 you know, doing 250 00:38:38.305 --> 00:38:42.065 episodes of television, doing, you know, 52 podcasts, 00:38:42.065 --> 00:38:50.480 managing, you know you know, if I have core six companies that I have to be actively managing and decided to go along with all my other pursuits 00:38:50.720 --> 00:38:53.920 and still do that with only 23% 00:38:53.920 --> 00:39:01.655 of my time. You know what I'm saying? Like, that is in where you now have gotten so efficient Mhmm. That you choose efficiency 00:39:02.135 --> 00:39:30.085 over anything else that You might giving them an example because I know it. Yeah. Like, for example, like, when I've come to you with different things like, hey, I got this TV show idea, like, well, much of your time is it gonna take? How does it make you feel? Yeah. What's it gonna cost you somewhere else? You know, the what percentage of it is for you? Even when we first started here, even this podcast, I'm like, it's this percentage of my time, it's this percentage of my income. However, it's a big percentage of joy for me. Yep. But in your case, if you don't mind and if you don't, it's okay. But like, even the way you shoot your show. Yeah. One of the things, when you hear this man talk, 00:39:31.925 --> 00:39:49.170 he has as big a life as about anybody that I know. I mean, got a show where he shoots a bazillion episodes. He's in production side. He's on the talent side. He's got the dir dick machine. He's got his investments. He's got different business. He's got a core and he's got he's a very very active father, very very active husband. 00:39:49.730 --> 00:39:58.195 He's got a public persona to keep up. He's got a social media. He's got a podcast, and that's just like some of it. Yet, I don't know anyone who navigates their life more 00:40:00.035 --> 00:40:03.315 seamlessly and beautifully than you do. I I I don't. 00:40:03.555 --> 00:40:18.990 But you'd make it it wouldn't seem that way. So give us a practical example for you, like, on the way that you scale time, like, for your show. What you did in the way that you shoot it and the the gaps in between shows. Is that too personal or No. No. No. You share that? Because this because I want people to think, okay, that sounds really good theoretically. 00:40:19.230 --> 00:40:30.045 But, I'm trying to get my startup off the ground. My kids are in soccer. You know, I've got the the gym I gotta get to. So what does that look like practically? How do I actually begin to navigate it? Yeah. Look. I I think, you know, like, 00:40:30.445 --> 00:40:39.640 it it's every bit of your life has the ability to be designed into time. You know what I mean? And, yes, things are gonna come at you that you need to change, and then and then 00:40:39.960 --> 00:40:40.840 everything 00:40:40.840 --> 00:40:42.680 you wanna drive to automation. 00:40:43.000 --> 00:40:48.200 Right? Everything in my life, I try to drive to automation. And then when I feel friction, 00:40:49.160 --> 00:40:54.385 I try I I go to optimize it. And when I feel friction, I apply a system or a solution, 00:40:54.785 --> 00:40:58.065 and I just keep doing that over and over and over 00:40:58.305 --> 00:41:05.025 to reduce all friction and drive everything to a much higher state of efficiency. Right? And the show itself is this 00:41:05.570 --> 00:41:09.490 beautiful example of It is. I used to shoot 60 00:41:09.730 --> 00:41:34.095 episodes a year and it would tear the soul out of me. It would tear the soul out of me. I wouldn't I didn't even wanna shoot the show anymore. I didn't wanna shoot the show anymore because it just took too much energy. It would be five weeks straight where I would shoot, like, four days a week and it would just, like I would be at the end of it, I would be so exhausted and be, like, I don't even, like, enjoy doing this. Like, I don't care what it pays me. It's, like, it's too much 00:41:34.430 --> 00:41:36.830 of my energy and well-being. 00:41:36.830 --> 00:41:38.510 Right? And and 00:41:39.070 --> 00:41:46.510 so I began to just look at ways to make it more and more efficient and look at the things that bother me. Because we used to shoot 00:41:46.945 --> 00:42:13.255 two a day and then we would, you know, shoot for an hour, do all these pickups in between, then I would stay for an hour and then do voice over on the stage for an hour and then we would break for an hour. Then I would do the whole thing again. I would get there at, like, 09:30, ten, and leave it, like, six. Mhmm. Right? And then that would be a five week stretch of, like, four days a week and just just terrorize me. Then I'd have to drive out to Glendale 00:42:13.255 --> 00:42:13.895 to 00:42:14.615 --> 00:42:19.015 get prepped for the shows and spend three or four hours going through all the shows. 00:42:19.575 --> 00:42:31.800 And I just slowly kept looking at every possible thing that I could optimize. And it started first with how they built the shows and presented them to me. And I got to instead of driving out to 00:42:33.160 --> 00:42:38.440 Glendale to look at them, hey, let's start doing it online and send them to me. And then it's like start 00:42:38.760 --> 00:42:55.700 presenting to them to me in this structure. Mhmm. And then it got to the point where I stopped even talking to them. They just would send to me, I would review them and it went from three hours round trip to do it to fifteen minutes. This is Rob right here, you guys. This is the stuff. Yeah. And and and to 00:42:55.940 --> 00:43:10.315 then actually shooting the show, then it was like, how can we make it more and more efficient? Alright. I'm not I'm just gonna to to fire off a lot more off the cuff stuff that you can edit in instead of doing the voice over. Mhmm. And then I took, you know, shooting the show for an hour, 00:43:10.635 --> 00:43:22.635 hour plus, and then do an hour of voice over. I drove that all the way down to about thirty five minutes. Mhmm. Then I said, hey, how do we take if we can we take one clip out of every single one of these? 00:43:23.600 --> 00:43:39.775 Because we're only we're shooting with six clips, but we're only editing four and five. And so we took a clip out of everything, drove the time down to twenty nine minutes. Right? And so then it became, okay, You shoot two a day. Let's shoot two a day before lunch. 00:43:40.015 --> 00:43:49.535 Then it was like, okay. Let's shoot three a day before lunch. Then it was like, alright. Let's shoot six a day, three before lunch, three after. And then now 00:43:49.695 --> 00:43:55.540 I could get six done in a day, and then I could spread out when I shoot to where I only shoot 00:43:55.700 --> 00:44:03.140 a couple times a month. Mhmm. Then, boy, now I feel like it's back in my life, it's back in my rhythm, it's no longer taking energy, 00:44:03.705 --> 00:44:25.170 it's much more efficient to get prepped for, it's easier to shoot, I the energy's not gone because I'd shoot it so quickly that it that it the energy's good, pop into the next one, but I just kept looking at way after all these different ways that I continued to optimize and optimize and then now going into next year I'm gonna start shooting 336. 00:44:25.730 --> 00:44:29.810 Okay? And I'm gonna shoot eight a day and so I was like I don't want to 00:44:30.555 --> 00:44:36.555 give up any more time. Where can I save time? We have fifteen minutes between the shows 00:44:37.035 --> 00:44:38.555 to change wardrobe. 00:44:38.555 --> 00:44:40.395 So if I eliminate 00:44:40.635 --> 00:44:43.355 two wardrobe changes Mhmm. And 00:44:44.030 --> 00:44:50.350 in between the shows and fifteen minutes at lunch, I get back that hour and now I can shoot 00:44:52.110 --> 00:44:53.310 336 00:44:53.310 --> 00:44:56.830 in the same forty two days, five hours a day 00:44:57.555 --> 00:45:00.355 as I did to shoot the 252 00:45:00.355 --> 00:45:07.635 with prep time the night before and drive time there and back, that is 4% of my life. See, you guys, this is 00:45:08.355 --> 00:45:14.880 why I want him around me. Let me give you let me interrupt you. Okay? I wanna give you guys like the easy application for me. 00:45:15.440 --> 00:45:18.480 This hyper obsession with optimization 00:45:18.480 --> 00:45:20.560 of time in oneself. 00:45:21.120 --> 00:45:22.480 When you're around somebody, 00:45:22.960 --> 00:45:29.905 they become a friend of yours. Some of it rubs off on you. So I don't have the types of show that he has. I don't shoot 350 00:45:29.905 --> 00:45:33.345 episodes. I don't have that. But it has caused me to begin to evaluate 00:45:33.505 --> 00:45:41.850 where am I just pissing time away? Where is it causing me more stress? Stress? What are the different things I do? I'll give you one small thing that's a massive thing after I met you. 00:45:42.410 --> 00:45:47.450 I started looking at just meetings that I take. And I'm like, why are all my meetings one hour long? 00:45:48.250 --> 00:46:01.045 Why is it blocked from you think about all of you dudes. You're like, that's right. Why is it from four to 05:00? How do how do I know this thing's gonna last an hour? And because it lasts an hour, because we blocked an hour, we take up the hour. 00:46:01.525 --> 00:46:03.525 But perhaps this is a twenty minute meeting. 00:46:04.220 --> 00:46:06.460 Right? Perhaps this is a fourteen minute meeting. 00:46:06.700 --> 00:46:27.125 Why is everything four to 04:30, 05:30 to six, five why are they all these round number blocks of time that we've all accepted need to be blocks of time? And because that's the block, that's how long the meeting takes. Right? You're nodding when I say this. So I've gotten with my team now and now they know. Let's find out how long this meeting is required to happen, the most efficient 00:46:27.125 --> 00:46:32.885 time for the meeting. Not where I'm dismissive of people or don't give them the adequate amount of time or the emotional connection, 00:46:33.430 --> 00:46:46.710 But you'll find everybody most meetings don't need to be an hour. They don't. They don't. They don't. They don't need to be a half an hour. Yeah. And so when I started to get those things done, I have a lot of fifteen minute meetings now. 00:46:47.385 --> 00:47:13.400 And my whole life opened up because of it. And here's the other thing, I bring better energy to those meetings. So you're so right. Like, when you first start, I'm like, this is really good in theory, dude. Because you got this big old life. But for the beginner, they just gotta go. Yeah. But the truth is, when you're just going, I want you to speak to this. So let's let's now go the guy goes, that's great. I don't have 350 of anything. I don't have 64 of that. Yeah. I got a job. I've got a side hustle. I got a family. I'm trying to get this going so I'm throwing a bunch of time at it. 00:47:14.505 --> 00:47:18.745 But my thing I want you to speak to is your lack of valuing 00:47:18.745 --> 00:47:19.625 time 00:47:19.865 --> 00:47:23.865 is impacting not only your fatigue, your energy, your performance, 00:47:24.265 --> 00:47:27.880 but it's impacting every part of you because other people 00:47:27.960 --> 00:47:32.040 don't value your time or you when you don't. 00:47:32.280 --> 00:47:41.720 And when you begin to take control of your time, even as a beginner, my belief is other people value you more. Do you agree with that? Yeah. And and look, I think the other thing is you 00:47:42.055 --> 00:47:46.615 you end up creating sort of your system that also allows you to be available 00:47:46.775 --> 00:48:00.190 a lot more than you should be. Good point. You know what I mean? And then people rely on that availability to then have a more scattered erratic schedule that you've gotta be fit into and they pull the energy from you because you're you're essentially 00:48:00.190 --> 00:48:01.550 operating that way 00:48:01.870 --> 00:48:12.270 and that scatteredness becomes how the people operate around you. Right? Which Really good. Almost never allows you to get there. Right? And to me Oh, yeah. You're right. When you start thinking about your whole life, 00:48:13.105 --> 00:48:15.345 forget about just time as 00:48:15.585 --> 00:48:24.625 because time's just one sort of piece of what you need to have high energy and have a great life. And so it's if if you don't design time to meditate, 00:48:25.550 --> 00:48:40.830 to free think, to get to the gym, to to do all these things that you know you need to do that make you the better version of you and make you feel more balanced in your mind that allows you to have better energy and more clarity at 00:48:40.155 --> 00:48:43.275 at that meeting and you just continually 00:48:43.435 --> 00:48:49.915 go from thing to thing to thing because, oh, I have to go from thing to thing to thing, then you are never gonna have 00:48:50.155 --> 00:48:59.640 the time to do the things that you wanna do because you're do too busy doing the things you have to do on an ongoing basis as a way of life. 00:48:59.880 --> 00:49:07.480 Man. You are the machine and you design the machine to go from thing to thing to thing to thing to you're exhausted, 00:49:07.720 --> 00:49:10.120 then you complain, then you overcorrect 00:49:10.825 --> 00:49:28.640 and try to get rid of all these things to get it back when in fact it is the way that you have built your system that has bound you to this this habitual way of not having time rather than designing your whole system around using time the right way. I think it's the most breakthrough stuff anyone's talking about right now, 00:49:29.040 --> 00:49:49.535 particularly designed for this time. I really I I mean it. I I I think it speaks to everybody at every stage, no matter if they have a big huge life and all the things you have going or I have going or they're beginning to build their dream life. If you don't get intentional about this, that's the micro. But but let me say this to that. Yeah. Right? Everybody's got a big life. Mhmm. Because everybody I have the same 00:49:50.320 --> 00:50:03.840 time, energy, and capacity as you. Yeah. Like, anyone listening to this, we all are in the same construct of time. Yeah. We all we all yes, our energy may vary, but we all have control to take care of ourselves, 00:50:04.000 --> 00:50:08.905 to do more things that we to begin to evolve our life in a way to where we have higher energy, 00:50:09.225 --> 00:50:15.545 but we all have a limit. A human physical and mental capacity, and if we go over it, 00:50:15.945 --> 00:50:28.580 we collapse in. Gosh. Even me. Right? Like, I I have completely organized perfectly designed designed time, beautiful rhythm, clear vision and goals, and executing everything within this beautiful matrix. I'm highly optimized. 00:50:28.580 --> 00:50:29.940 Why am I overwhelmed? 00:50:29.940 --> 00:50:30.820 Why 00:50:30.900 --> 00:50:32.500 am I overwhelmed? Because 00:50:32.740 --> 00:50:34.020 I went past capacity. 00:50:34.495 --> 00:50:37.535 Right? And that's sort of the second edge is understanding 00:50:37.535 --> 00:50:41.455 your physical and mental capacity and being able to manage that inside 00:50:41.615 --> 00:50:43.535 the way that you design your time. 00:50:43.775 --> 00:50:45.615 Because when you become overwhelmed, 00:50:45.855 --> 00:50:46.815 your decisions, 00:50:47.055 --> 00:50:47.775 like like, 00:50:48.320 --> 00:50:49.280 degenerate 00:50:49.280 --> 00:51:06.755 and then you ultimately start over correcting. By the way, how brilliant you are about that? I make the worst decisions when I'm fatigued and typically what I'm doing when I'm fatigued is the over correction, then I'm like over scheduling. Then once my energy comes back, I look at a day or a week and I'm like, oh my gosh. What was I thinking when I agreed to all of this stuff? 00:51:06.915 --> 00:51:25.150 And a lot of it isn't productive stuff. And then I don't have time for the things that would move the needle in my fitness, in my mental health, in my financial life. Yeah. And all of a sudden, lots of stuff is in a schedule that doesn't necessarily move the needle in my life in the areas that I want to move the needle to move to. Speaking of life and needle moving, 00:51:25.310 --> 00:51:31.230 I don't know if you texted me this or you posted it, so it probably doesn't matter. But that's the micro stuff. The macro 00:51:31.575 --> 00:51:35.335 is you're so obsessed with this that you look at like duration of time 00:51:35.655 --> 00:51:56.830 on the planet. Mhmm. And it was something about you just realized you read something on your you're laughing but you did you text me this or did you post it? I just posted that I wanted to live one million hours. That's exactly right. Yeah. So you read something that convinced you that you're gonna that you could live to a particular age and you deduced how many hours there so I actually think this is brilliant. Yeah. Because this type of focus 00:51:57.550 --> 00:52:06.265 causes us to live with intention and attention and the lack of I think all the time. Do you know when I pray at night? You're gonna laugh at this. 00:52:06.585 --> 00:52:09.625 Never said this out loud, not even to my wife. I'm gonna tell you and about 00:52:09.945 --> 00:52:11.145 70,000,000,000 people right now. 00:52:11.880 --> 00:52:16.600 When I pray at night, one of my last prayers is that I'm gonna live to 128 years old. Okay? 00:52:17.720 --> 00:52:37.185 And I really believe now, again, someone will listen to this in three years. Wow. It's so sad he passed away. But but but I I I have that prayer and that intention and I've repeated it over and over and over and over again because I believe if I don't pick a number, if I don't pick a time, if I don't set a goal, if I don't, then it'll I'll be up to the whims of whatever else comes my way. 00:52:37.860 --> 00:52:55.355 And I really believe that you create a space when you set something like that that didn't exist before you did it, and then you find the behaviors, the people, the things, the thoughts, the technology, the nutrition to fill it up. What I didn't do was calculate the amount of hours that it gives me Yep. To then optimize that time. So speak to that whole thing. Yeah. And and look, I'm 00:52:55.915 --> 00:52:59.355 you know, it makes it really makes me happy. That means we're gonna we're literally 00:52:59.515 --> 00:53:10.090 we're gonna be friends deep into our hundreds. I love it. We're gonna be having these conversations about, well, what do you think? You're thinking you're going to one twenty eight? Think you're gonna I don't know. I'm pushing. I'm feeling pretty good right now. 00:53:11.690 --> 00:53:17.450 But I think about it more from a this is what I'm big on. This is your existence. 00:53:17.850 --> 00:53:22.765 Right? And and this is this is the framework of the your the spirit the human experience. 00:53:23.005 --> 00:53:24.765 Right? You only 00:53:25.245 --> 00:53:26.045 truly 00:53:26.045 --> 00:53:29.805 can judge anything. Your energy, how well you're using time, 00:53:30.045 --> 00:53:42.250 everything that's happened in your past, how you actually feel in the present moment. True. You can only do it in the present moment and you only experience it in your mind. Mhmm. Right? And then you have to make a decision of, like, I want to change, 00:53:42.650 --> 00:53:54.705 um, all of these things, so am I I'm going to create a better future experience. That is the human experience and I realized that it that I wanted to make it last to 112. 00:53:54.705 --> 00:53:57.985 I initially wanted to live to 104 00:53:58.145 --> 00:54:03.590 and be shot in a rocket into space and explore the universe without the 00:54:04.790 --> 00:54:10.630 light pollution from planet Earth for the last year before I died and then floated out into the cosmos. Now 00:54:10.630 --> 00:54:18.305 that was before I had a wife and kids. And so it's like now the audacity of don't worry about me and then like I'm up there for like twenty four more years like 00:54:19.185 --> 00:54:20.305 you know, so 00:54:21.425 --> 00:54:25.025 that changed and then when I read the book Ikigai, 00:54:25.025 --> 00:54:27.905 right, the Japanese long life and happiness book, 00:54:29.280 --> 00:54:31.360 they talked about super centurions. 00:54:31.360 --> 00:54:36.800 And I'm like, oh. Like that. Like that brand. I wanna be a super centurion. So then I made it at 00:54:38.320 --> 00:54:57.910 then I made it that I would wanna live to a 112. And then as I started getting deeper into, okay, how many days is that? Alright. Okay. That's how many days I have. This is how many days that I've done so far. Then when I was going going through my time matrix and we're looking at all these different things where I spend time of like, wow. I spend 00:54:58.150 --> 00:54:59.110 nearly 00:54:59.190 --> 00:55:00.630 as much time 00:55:00.790 --> 00:55:02.630 shooting a television show 00:55:03.190 --> 00:55:09.525 as I will picking up my kids and taking them to school for the year. Right? And and to me, 00:55:09.925 --> 00:55:31.140 as I just started looking at these hours and then where am I where am I losing a lot of time? On the couch watching Netflix. You know what I mean? It's it's me and the wife on there watching our favorite show, but boy, when you start looking at what that is, man, you're letting you're letting the hard eight to 9% go on the couch, you know what I mean? Like it's it's cold hard reality but as I looked at that, 00:55:31.380 --> 00:55:34.340 you know, I'm I then was like, you know, 00:55:34.660 --> 00:55:35.700 what is like, 00:55:36.205 --> 00:55:45.325 what's a round number of time? And like, wow. 1,000,000 is one hundred and fourteen years and fifty four days. Yeah. I'm gonna I'm gonna experience 00:55:45.405 --> 00:55:59.140 a million hours on this Earth. Right? And so, of course, a lot of people push back on, like, oh, it's good. Yeah. You're like a vegetable. What are you gonna do? And and it's like like, I didn't even contemplate that. And and it's because 00:55:59.620 --> 00:56:06.755 you live in two different mindsets. There's I live in a mindset that I just keep getting healthier and happier, more balanced, 00:56:06.755 --> 00:56:07.555 lighter, 00:56:07.635 --> 00:56:09.075 life is more effortless, 00:56:09.075 --> 00:56:12.515 my system that is my entire body is more efficient. 00:56:12.755 --> 00:56:21.290 And I can show you in blood work, I can show you in net worth, I can show you in time, and I can show you in qualitative data 00:56:21.290 --> 00:56:26.330 that I have collected about how I feel about my life, work, and health that I am 00:56:27.050 --> 00:56:27.530 in 00:56:27.975 --> 00:56:30.215 healthier, better physical condition, 00:56:30.455 --> 00:56:32.215 wealthier, more balanced, 00:56:32.615 --> 00:56:33.975 and happier 00:56:34.135 --> 00:56:41.095 in the data, which only proves to me there's no reason why you can't keep getting healthier, happier, and wealthier 00:56:41.390 --> 00:56:46.830 for the for the remainder of your life. That's And then That's a I'll just fall right off a cliff. You 00:56:47.230 --> 00:56:54.270 know what I mean? Whatever it ends up ending. But again, what's it go back to? I wanna live with with absolute intention 00:56:54.350 --> 00:56:57.465 and I want to experience every moment 00:56:57.705 --> 00:57:04.905 that I get into and feel the vividness and the richness and the beauty that is the human experience and life.